Comments on: Social Skydiving: The Art of Talking to Strangers http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/ Open Source Personal Development Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:12:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Carpe Diem #5: Social Skydiving http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-9/#comment-36680 Carpe Diem #5: Social Skydiving Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:57:40 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-36680 [...] came across the concept purely by accident, stumbling across Brad Bollenbach’s excellent blog 30 Sleeps.  As Brad says, the single most exhilarating thing is making a habit of talking to strangers. On [...] [...] came across the concept purely by accident, stumbling across Brad Bollenbach’s excellent blog 30 Sleeps.  As Brad says, the single most exhilarating thing is making a habit of talking to strangers. On [...]

]]> By: Jim http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-35599 Jim Sat, 03 Dec 2011 04:17:05 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-35599 I do have a problem with approaching girls, that's a fact. But, i also have a problem socializing with people i already know. I constantly fear having run-ins with people i know, or have known in the past. That 1-2 minute awkward conversation always scares me. Also, i get so scared of talking to friends, family, and others who i ALREADY KNOW on the phone, or in person. My thinking is, how can i talk to strangers if i am uncomfortable talking to people i already know. Maybe it's just a matter of becoming more comfortable with myself before i start this stuff? I have been told that by approaching people i don't know, like your technique in this article, my social life will improve significantly with my peers i already know. I do have a problem with approaching girls, that’s a fact. But, i also have a problem socializing with people i already know. I constantly fear having run-ins with people i know, or have known in the past. That 1-2 minute awkward conversation always scares me. Also, i get so scared of talking to friends, family, and others who i ALREADY KNOW on the phone, or in person. My thinking is, how can i talk to strangers if i am uncomfortable talking to people i already know.

Maybe it’s just a matter of becoming more comfortable with myself before i start this stuff? I have been told that by approaching people i don’t know, like your technique in this article, my social life will improve significantly with my peers i already know.

]]> By: Mark Samuelson http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-35380 Mark Samuelson Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:55:17 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-35380 Hey Margot! To you, You see you have to stop putting your trust in those fearful thoughts about what others may think of you; heeding those fearful worries. By doing so you are literally allowing fear to control your life. How can that be a life that feels good? Get sick of the sickness, and say fuck it, give me anything besides this fearful anxious disempowered life I continuously give myself. What's the point of life if you're just committing to being a clone of your past (with all problems and pains that you hate included)? Do you understand? What I was getting at, at the beginning of that last para graph is the result of always trusting and heeding those fearful worries (they make think this disparaging thing of me I can't therefore approach or say hi to them).. is to give yourself anxiety, to lead an emotionally painful existence, emotional pain is the worst kind of pain, because it is so haunting and affects your happiness directly. Build trust in yourself. The way to do that is to challenge fear, and you grow stronger, feel more empowered. Have the courage to love yourself, not to in effect , to shit on yourself.. by believing I am not good because this person might think this of me. To believe you are not good because of what others may think, is to feel not good. You should make feeling good your priority over image (what others may think of you). What good is image anyway? How the fuck will that bring you happiness, I mean you feel the results now of tending to it and what that brings (anxiety). And besides, rationally, you do not know what others will think of you. You could say one thing to one person and they'll think it's boring, the same thing to another and they'll think it's interesting, the same thing to another and they'll think it's weird.. etc etc. Hey Margot!

To you,
You see you have to stop putting your trust in those fearful thoughts about what others may think of you; heeding those fearful worries.

By doing so you are literally allowing fear to control your life. How can that be a life that feels good? Get sick of the sickness, and say fuck it, give me anything besides this fearful anxious disempowered life I continuously give myself. What’s the point of life if you’re just committing to being a clone of your past (with all problems and pains that you hate included)?

Do you understand?

What I was getting at, at the beginning of that last para graph is the result of always trusting and heeding those fearful worries (they make think this disparaging thing of me I can’t therefore approach or say hi to them).. is to give yourself anxiety, to lead an emotionally painful existence, emotional pain is the worst kind of pain, because it is so haunting and affects your happiness directly.

Build trust in yourself. The way to do that is to challenge fear, and you grow stronger, feel more empowered. Have the courage to love yourself, not to in effect , to shit on yourself.. by believing I am not good because this person might think this of me. To believe you are not good because of what others may think, is to feel not good. You should make feeling good your priority over image (what others may think of you). What good is image anyway? How the fuck will that bring you happiness, I mean you feel the results now of tending to it and what that brings (anxiety). And besides, rationally, you do not know what others will think of you. You could say one thing to one person and they’ll think it’s boring, the same thing to another and they’ll think it’s interesting, the same thing to another and they’ll think it’s weird.. etc etc.

]]> By: B.K http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-34848 B.K Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:18:26 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-34848 I've read lots of material on pick up/game/attraction/etc and this is by far one of the better articles I've come across. I'm trying to get out of my head and away from all the pick up bullshit out there (im in college and ik it doesn't work) and I look forward to reading more of your posts I’ve read lots of material on pick up/game/attraction/etc and this is by far one of the better articles I’ve come across. I’m trying to get out of my head and away from all the pick up bullshit out there (im in college and ik it doesn’t work) and I look forward to reading more of your posts

]]> By: JESSE DZIEDZIC http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-34655 JESSE DZIEDZIC Thu, 20 Oct 2011 06:16:19 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-34655 Tremendous piece! Tremendous piece!

]]> By: Mark Wilson http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-34391 Mark Wilson Sun, 02 Oct 2011 21:01:33 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-34391 Excellent advice for pushing past your social anxiety. I've personally always struggled with the "just do it" method, but the fact of the matter is we can all start by taking manageable steps, such as simply getting out of the house or going to a social place consistently. Simple persistence will do more for a person's social life than just about anything else. Excellent advice for pushing past your social anxiety. I’ve personally always struggled with the “just do it” method, but the fact of the matter is we can all start by taking manageable steps, such as simply getting out of the house or going to a social place consistently. Simple persistence will do more for a person’s social life than just about anything else.

]]> By: Phil http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-34206 Phil Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:34:00 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-34206 I've come back to this article 20 times over the last year. Good stuff. I’ve come back to this article 20 times over the last year. Good stuff.

]]> By: jodie holmes http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-33980 jodie holmes Mon, 12 Sep 2011 09:19:33 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-33980 hiya lesson i boring hiya lesson i boring

]]> By: Neuro Linguistic Programming http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-33833 Neuro Linguistic Programming Sun, 04 Sep 2011 05:09:23 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-33833 I usually appreciate reading your blog. Maintain the post comming. I usually appreciate reading your blog. Maintain the post comming.

]]> By: dave http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/comment-page-8/#comment-33771 dave Thu, 01 Sep 2011 06:21:07 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/#comment-33771 do people actually have problems simply speaking to someone else they have never met, that seems like a pretty sick society do people actually have problems simply speaking to someone else they have never met, that seems like a pretty sick society

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