The reaction to my previous article was overwhelming. There was a huge discussion over on reddit, a great discussion continues on this blog, and I received a lot of email feedback from you guys. The response was so overwhelming that it took down our servers in spectacular fashion. (Hardware upgrades are currently in progress. :)

Clearly it struck a chord. Thanks to all of you for energizing the conversation, being generous in your praise, and honest in your criticism.

Today I want to get specific about the One Approach a Day mission, and how a normal guy can significantly increase the flow of beautiful women in his life by being proactive.

Keeping Up Appearances

Many “dating gurus” will say that, when it comes to success with women, looks don’t matter. While this is somewhat true, it’s a bit misleading.

Your genetic looks, for the most part, don’t matter. But if you’re 100 lbs overweight, have a two-month-old Linux beard, and wear your favourite pair of ripped sweatpants everywhere you go, that bikini-clad blonde suntanning in the park is probably out of your league. Women appreciate guys that dress well and keep good personal hygiene.

Here are some guidelines for making a good first impression:

• Trim the fat. A healthy body opens sexual doorways. When I was 18, I lost 55 lbs, so for anyone who thinks it’s “easy for me” to talk about losing weight, realize that you probably have less work to do than I did. For me, the secret was to eat a big breakfast, drink lots of water, taper my meals throughout the day, and stop eating after 7:00 PM.
• Don’t be a dirt road. Personal hygiene is really important. Make sure you’re clean-shaven (or your facial hair is well-kept), your teeth are clean, your hair is well-maintained, and you shower on a daily basis.
• Wear your personality. Learn to see fashion as “art you wear”, rather than purely utilitarian. Choose threads that tell the world something about you.
• Become a meathead. Personally, I hate working out, so I don’t. But if you feel like you need some “extra help” in the looks department, even after applying the previous guidelines, the weightroom is the answer.

Obviously, losing weight and adding muscle can take several months, a year, or even longer. But don’t use that as an excuse to stay at home and rent a movie tonight. Good grooming and a concerted wardrobe update will go a long way to increasing your animal magnetism.

Location, Location, Location

Where would your ideal woman hang out?

The places you choose to meet people should be a reflection of your personality and interests. Ideally you’ll want to choose venues that offer a lot of women to talk to, and an easy exit strategy in case you get blown out.

Places I like:

• Parks. I find people in parks to be really open and friendly.
• Bars and nightclubs. The typical nightclub scene of going there with your buddies, talking about how hot the women are, drinking yourself into a stupid haze, and burping out cheesy pickup lines to disgusted beauties is not my thing. But going in with a sober mission, chatting up the entire place, and hitting the dance floor at convenient intervals is amazingly fun.
• House parties. A little risker place to get blown out, but at the same time, you’re much more likely to have some connection with the people there already, so crude behaviour is less likely.
• Outdoor festivals. Another activity that I enjoy for its own sake. Montreal is one never-ending festival in the summertime.

Places I don’t like:

• Malls and stores. Bookshops, pharmacies, clothing stores, etc. I find it weird to go into stores or malls just to “pickup girls”. Meeting people should be a natural part of your day, rather than grounds for a customer harassment lawsuit.
• Cafes. I love hanging out with a good book at Starbucks, and I love caffeine freaks, but I’ve not yet been good at approaching in these situations.
• Cinemas. Movie theatres are a logistical nightmare. Not to mention that she’s probably with her boyfriend.

How to be Flirtatious

Flirting is the verbal and non-verbal exchange of sexual tension. It is not the time for logical conversation and questioning. If you’re feeling Casanovically Challenged (TM), here are some principles to help you shine in the spotlight of female attention:

• Anticipate acceptance. Accept rejection. Your state of mind will be reflected in your body language and tone of voice. If a women senses weakness, she will pounce. If you do get blown out though, get over it and move on to the next one.
• Don’t interview her. Where are you from? What do you study? How old are you? What do you do for fun? You might like using handcuffs, but don’t act like a cop handing out a speeding ticket.
• Don’t be Spock. Keep the serious logic to a minimum. Save the deadpan political and career discussions until at least the second date.
• Be playful. Girls love to be teased. It shows that you’re a cool, fun guy with a personality of his own. Go easy on joking about how she’s “such a dumb blonde” though. There’s a fine line between rascally humour and miscalibrated insults.
• Be unreactive. A woman who is interested in you will constantly test you, in ways she may not even realize. She’s just trying to figure out where your words and actions meet; not just what you say you are, but if you can stand up to her feline heat. Relax. If she throws a snide remark your way to see how you’ll react, ignore it. It’s just her way of saying she likes you.

Be a Man of Action

The bottom line is that to flood your life with beautiful women you’ve got to be willing to get out into the world and take massive action to meet them. Prepare yourself with expressive outfits and good grooming. Work on your body, but don’t let it hinder you in the meantime.

Find the places where your dreamgirls hang out and start practicing your flirting ninjitsu.