Comments on: Women, Relationships, and Happiness http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/ Open Source Personal Development Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:24:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Billy http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-16136 Billy Fri, 04 Dec 2009 04:33:59 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-16136 Great article Brad, I'm currently trying to get through the same thing myself. I'm definately gonna read that book. I've already read numerous books on being a man and about women and attraction. I'm finding trying to let go of these resentments is one of the hardest things in my life. That's wierd considering other battles I've had to face. It's reached a boiling point and I'm so angry and confused that I've started to get counselling. Great article Brad, I’m currently trying to get through the same thing myself. I’m definately gonna read that book. I’ve already read numerous books on being a man and about women and attraction. I’m finding trying to let go of these resentments is one of the hardest things in my life. That’s wierd considering other battles I’ve had to face. It’s reached a boiling point and I’m so angry and confused that I’ve started to get counselling.

]]> By: foo http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-11582 foo Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:46:12 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-11582 Most men and women have loose morals. It takes a lot of patience and maturity to stick with one person. If someone doesn't possess that, I truly feel sorry for them. But hey, the multiple marriages and divorces will surely add some fun, right? Most men and women have loose morals. It takes a lot of patience and maturity to stick with one person. If someone doesn’t possess that, I truly feel sorry for them. But hey, the multiple marriages and divorces will surely add some fun, right?

]]> By: Carlyle http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-891 Carlyle Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:29:09 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-891 Love the blog and posts. From a womans perspective, I am coming from exactly the same place, which astounds me. I didn't think men really gave relationships much thought-- but from what I have read here, we want the same things: individuality and love. I have recently separated after 30 years of marriage. I know how to be a "we" but I am just now learning how to me a "me." On my way to embracing "me" as enough. I always had to have someone else next to me in order to be "enough." It's scary to let go of the security blanket of "we" and stand on my own two feet. I'm with you guys! Love the blog and posts. From a womans perspective, I am coming from exactly the same place, which astounds me. I didn’t think men really gave relationships much thought– but from what I have read here, we want the same things: individuality and love. I have recently separated after 30 years of marriage. I know how to be a “we” but I am just now learning how to me a “me.” On my way to embracing “me” as enough. I always had to have someone else next to me in order to be “enough.” It’s scary to let go of the security blanket of “we” and stand on my own two feet.
I’m with you guys!

]]> By: Harry http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-215 Harry Thu, 04 Oct 2007 08:07:03 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-215 Very interesting blog, just what i wanted to read, im not sure if its human nature or somethin else but when you ignore someone they're crazy for you and when you love some one you get crazy for them, ur just giving yourself away, but from what ive learned from my last relationship is that you just cannot trust women, they play with you emotions like a game of chess, maybe its my mistake that i got so close to her that it was hard letting go, it just turns your world up side down when suddenly she says lets just be friends....this too after a 3 year relationship!!! Very interesting blog, just what i wanted to read, im not sure if its human nature or somethin else but when you ignore someone they’re crazy for you and when you love some one you get crazy for them, ur just giving yourself away, but from what ive learned from my last relationship is that you just cannot trust women, they play with you emotions like a game of chess, maybe its my mistake that i got so close to her that it was hard letting go, it just turns your world up side down when suddenly she says lets just be friends….this too after a 3 year relationship!!!

]]> By: Marti http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-165 Marti Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:58:14 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-165 I'm probably older than most people reading your blog, and I would like to offer my insight that you have to kiss a lot of frogs (or beauty queens) before you find the prince (or princess). Dating is a process of trying on people, like you would try on a garment. Not everyone you meet, despite their beauty or outward persona, is a good fit. We all present a social facade, and it takes a bit of digging, and time, to discover the real person beind that facade, and for that person to discover the real you, as well. Most often, that discovery is less than satisfactory, and it is time to move on. You can't find 'the one for you' until you know yourself, and stop hiding from yourself. Everyone you date, and have a relationship with, is another step on your personal road to self discovery. When you finally know yourself, you will find it easier to sort thru the dross of all those people out there, and hone in immediately on people, or 'the person', who is the best fit for you. Wonderful blog post. Keep writing, and keep on in your personal journey. I’m probably older than most people reading your blog, and I would like to offer my insight that you have to kiss a lot of frogs (or beauty queens) before you find the prince (or princess). Dating is a process of trying on people, like you would try on a garment. Not everyone you meet, despite their beauty or outward persona, is a good fit.

We all present a social facade, and it takes a bit of digging, and time, to discover the real person beind that facade, and for that person to discover the real you, as well. Most often, that discovery is less than satisfactory, and it is time to move on.

You can’t find ‘the one for you’ until you know yourself, and stop hiding from yourself. Everyone you date, and have a relationship with, is another step on your personal road to self discovery. When you finally know yourself, you will find it easier to sort thru the dross of all those people out there, and hone in immediately on people, or ‘the person’, who is the best fit for you.

Wonderful blog post. Keep writing, and keep on in your personal journey.

]]> By: Alex in Ottawa http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-129 Alex in Ottawa Mon, 27 Aug 2007 18:47:17 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-129 Interesting post. Great referral - Power of Now was awesome. Can help not only in relationships, as you stated, but also in your career, personal and spiritual sides. Good Talk. Interesting post. Great referral – Power of Now was awesome. Can help not only in relationships, as you stated, but also in your career, personal and spiritual sides.

Good Talk.

]]> By: Jeff G http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-123 Jeff G Fri, 24 Aug 2007 20:01:52 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-123 Good article and good blog. I think I am at a similar place in my life as you, although I'm just embarking on my journey of really starting to understand relationships and women. A related issue to this article is what I think of as putting a woman up on a pedestal. I got burned by this quite badly a couple months ago, and I have been trying to learn from the experience. I asked out a woman who I knew professionally but not personally. I was completely enamored with her and I thought of her as 'out of my league' from day 1. So I made the mistake you mention in your article of relying entirely on her for my validation and for my happiness. It comes down to power, and I what I did is that I gave away 100% of the power in the relationship to her right from the start. It didn't matter what she did - it only mattered why I did. She was the god and I was the sniveling peasant, begging for an audience. So she blew me off a couple times and instead of getting angry at her, I just sort of rolled with punches and kept calling her until it was obvious that she had lost all interest in me. The right way to handle the situation would have been to tell her that she was out of line and walk away. From what I now know, chances are high that if I had handled things that way, she would have been calling ME up in a few days apologizing and asking me out. And even if she didn't, it wouldn't have mattered so much to me. Good article and good blog. I think I am at a similar place in my life as you, although I’m just embarking on my journey of really starting to understand relationships and women.

A related issue to this article is what I think of as putting a woman up on a pedestal. I got burned by this quite badly a couple months ago, and I have been trying to learn from the experience. I asked out a woman who I knew professionally but not personally. I was completely enamored with her and I thought of her as ‘out of my league’ from day 1. So I made the mistake you mention in your article of relying entirely on her for my validation and for my happiness.

It comes down to power, and I what I did is that I gave away 100% of the power in the relationship to her right from the start. It didn’t matter what she did – it only mattered why I did. She was the god and I was the sniveling peasant, begging for an audience. So she blew me off a couple times and instead of getting angry at her, I just sort of rolled with punches and kept calling her until it was obvious that she had lost all interest in me.

The right way to handle the situation would have been to tell her that she was out of line and walk away. From what I now know, chances are high that if I had handled things that way, she would have been calling ME up in a few days apologizing and asking me out. And even if she didn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered so much to me.

]]> By: bazztrap http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-122 bazztrap Fri, 24 Aug 2007 19:53:33 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-122 Well "Accepting People to be who they are" is quite vague term. If you are in a relationship, no matter how much one pretends you get influenced by other person. There is definite exchange of energies. Even though it doesn't affect your ego, your still being transformed. I think its better to be reactive than being initiator of any cause. we are all consumed by our perception of life and all are in struggle to understand right meaning of ourselves. In this process we make decisions which is suited for best of us. Relationship is path where you traverse your next goal and each break up is fork in your path. There are several paths forking out but in the end they all all going down in a Spiral towards our ego. The moment we are close to our ego we would have gained Spirituality. So it all rotates around one's Ego. Similarly its question of where is your partners Ego in this entire phase and which path has she chosen, in due course are you going to be elevated from your past. There is no definite answer, Maybe it lies in intuitive happiness . I am traversing in one of those paths and each time I am trying to free a soul . A soul which thought this was answer to everything. Spiral out keep going. Well “Accepting People to be who they are” is quite vague term. If you are in a relationship, no matter how much one pretends you get influenced by other person. There is definite exchange of energies. Even though it doesn’t affect your ego, your still being transformed. I think its better to be reactive than being initiator of any cause. we are all consumed by our perception of life and all are in struggle to understand right meaning of ourselves. In this process we make decisions which is suited for best of us. Relationship is path where you traverse your next goal and each break up is fork in your path. There are several paths forking out but in the end they all all going down in a Spiral towards our ego. The moment we are close to our ego we would have gained Spirituality. So it all rotates around one’s Ego. Similarly its question of where is your partners Ego in this entire phase and which path has she chosen, in due course are you going to be elevated from your past. There is no definite answer, Maybe it lies in intuitive happiness . I am traversing in one of those paths and each time I am trying to free a soul . A soul which thought this was answer to everything.
Spiral out keep going.

]]> By: Nulli http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Nulli Fri, 24 Aug 2007 00:14:59 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-116 I know what they are and that's why I prefer escort services. I know what they are and that’s why I prefer escort services.

]]> By: NeutrinoBurrito! http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-113 NeutrinoBurrito! Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:31:31 +0000 http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/22/women-relationships-happiness/#comment-113 Hm, this is a very good way of thinking in a relationship. In any situation even, not just with women but with most of the important people in ones life. I can't say that I've thought of or practiced any of the above techniques in a relationship, but they sound like they'd work. At the moment I've been with one person for about a year and 8 months, and we've had ups and downs, but many more ups. I feel that we actually make it through with a little bit of hostility towards each other every now and then, not real hostility, but just sort of making fun of the common problems you find in most relationships, it's a good laugh, usually without the expense of either one of us, or very much anyone else. I do find myself time and again (she does as well) expecting something more from the other party in some situations, but we're both understanding people, and can usually get over any real conflict we get into. Unfortunately I can't say that I'd use this idea of yours in my relationship, as both sides are fairly headstrong and not willig to soften up for anything short of the hand of God himself, but I know people that fit the description of "life is over after breakup with boyfriend/girlfriend" that could really use this little plan. As always, good call NuBu Hm, this is a very good way of thinking in a relationship. In any situation even, not just with women but with most of the important people in ones life. I can’t say that I’ve thought of or practiced any of the above techniques in a relationship, but they sound like they’d work. At the moment I’ve been with one person for about a year and 8 months, and we’ve had ups and downs, but many more ups. I feel that we actually make it through with a little bit of hostility towards each other every now and then, not real hostility, but just sort of making fun of the common problems you find in most relationships, it’s a good laugh, usually without the expense of either one of us, or very much anyone else.

I do find myself time and again (she does as well) expecting something more from the other party in some situations, but we’re both understanding people, and can usually get over any real conflict we get into. Unfortunately I can’t say that I’d use this idea of yours in my relationship, as both sides are fairly headstrong and not willig to soften up for anything short of the hand of God himself, but I know people that fit the description of “life is over after breakup with boyfriend/girlfriend” that could really use this little plan.

As always, good call
NuBu

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