Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

– Howard Thurman

Life is meant to be an adventure. If your life is anything less than interesting and inspiring to other people, you’re doing something wrong. The range of possible thrills and spills at your disposal is limited only by your imagination and the choices you make. You are not too old. You are not too young. You don’t need more savings. You don’t need to wait until you’re finished university. You don’t need to wait for a better time.

Right now is the only moment you ever have.

There are so many choices that you can make to live an amazing adventure. Travel the world. Meet the girl of your dreams. Start a company. Learn to fly an airplane. Move to Japan to become a Go master. Live in a city whose language you don’t speak, then learn to talk like a local.

While many people will say that some of these things are out of their reach, the truth is that you’re only ever either taking action to achieve a specific goal, or making excuses for why you aren’t.

Still, for a lot of people these goals will seem a bit “over the top” for their current life situation. What if you’ve got one more year left before you get your degree? What if you just broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend and meeting the mate of your dreams is the furthest thing from your mind? What if you know you want to travel but you’re still thousands of dollars away from the bankroll required to jump on a plane to Australia?

What can you do right now, this afternoon or tonight, to increase your adventure quotient? In thinking about this, I wanted to offer something practical. It had to be something that requires no money, very little time, no planning, and something I’ve done myself, so that I can legitimately vouch for its effectiveness.

In fact, it’s something I’m going to do tonight.

Throw Yourself Into the World

If you feel like your life has become a bit mundane and routine, perhaps even a bit lonely, then let now be the moment that you do something about it. If you want to shake things up a bit, then do this: Go out to a social event this evening, by yourself. That’s right. Don’t invite anyone along. In fact, some of you won’t have any friends to invite. I’ll admit it, I’ve been there many times.

No one needs to know where you’re going. You don’t need permission from your girlfriend or boyfriend. You just need to choose to make right now a lot more exciting than yesterday.

Your goal for this evening should be just one simple thing: Amuse yourself. You don’t need to get any phone numbers. In fact, you need even make no guarantee that you’ll actually talk to anyone. Don’t scare yourself into submission before you’ve even left the house.

I’d strongly recommend this event be something that interests you. If you claim you “can’t find anything good” you aren’t looking hard enough. Here are some ideas:

• Art Shows
• Book Readings
• Rock Concerts
• Museum Exhibitions
• “Beginners Night” Dance Classes
• Speed Dating
• Outdoor Festivals
• Geek Gatherings
• Parades/Rallies/Protests

A friend of mine did this a few weeks ago, while in London on a business trip, and ended up finding his way into a fetish party. The beauty of boldness is that you get to choose your own adventure.

The Benefits of Soloing

There are numerous reasons why I suggest going out on your own from time to time.

If you do this enough, you’ll eventually get comfortable being yourself around people. While you should expect your first time to be really scary, even lame perhaps, see the bigger picture. Do you really think you’ll still be just as horrified once you’ve done this 10 times? 100 times? 1000 times? Planting yourself in social situations actually makes talking to strangers become the path of least resistance. In fact, you’ll look a lot more strange if you aren’t talking to people.

Learning to create your own fun gives you more control over your social life. It means you can make a decision about what you want to do on a given night, even if nobody else wants to or is available to join you. Suddenly, those awkward moments of waiting around like a loser for your friend to show up at some social gathering become opportunities to meet new people. This isn’t even about “picking up” girls or guys; it’s simply a tax-free way to add more fun to your life, that absolutely anyone can do any day of the week.

And even if your ambitions are sexual, going out alone can also be a great advantage. It makes it easier to control your state of mind. You don’t have to worry about “embarrassing yourself” in front of your friends or “looking good”. You can just talk to whomever you want and, even if things do go bad, you probably won’t see that person again anyway.

But I’m Too Scared!

Let me start by removing all your worries. You will encounter all of the following problems:

• You won’t know what to say when you approach people.
• You might end up standing around like a loser.
• You’ll be almost visibly shaking for the first few people you approach.
• Some people will think you’re creepy.
• Some people will think you’re weird because you’re not out with your friends.
• You’ll tell yourself, “Oh my God! This is too hard! I think I’ll just rent a movie instead. :/”

Furthermore, you cannot read your way through this. The only path forward is action. You can spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on “self-help books” that promise to awaken your inner confidence, waste hundreds of hours absorbing that information, and guess what? It won’t make this even the slightest bit easier. The quickest, easiest, and cheapest way to get over this hump is to actually do it. Get out there, screw up badly (if you’re new to this, I promise you will), and rejoice in your truly impressive ability to feel the fear and do it anyway.

The first time I ever went out solo was when I lived in Quebec City. I had just moved there, I knew no one, and I didn’t speak the language. I was one half of a two-person company, so even the office provided almost no potential for social expansion. I was making $30,000/year, and I lived in a room in a house in suburbia, rented at $280/month. My roommates, while cool, weren’t exactly the life of the party. I was living a life way too small for my own spirit.

So after several months of wallowing in my own self-pity, having a truly pathetic social life, I decided I was going to do something about it. On weekends, I started going out on my own to a local student bar at the university not too far from where I lived. Being fairly good at pool, I started to make friends around the table, and I actually really started to enjoy these outings. Eventually I met a girl, and we ended up going out for six months.

I literally created my social and sex life out of thin air. Not only that, but being with this girl gave me all the more motivation to learn French fluently, which is an adventure in its own right.

Fast forward to today, and the last girl I dated I also met while out at a social gathering on my own. And, yes, she threw one jab after another at me wondering why I wasn’t out with my friends. While there are some clever lines you can use to respond to these “shit tests”, forget about perfecting your scripts. You don’t need to be told how to talk to people. Practice will develop your intuition, and your intuition will help carry your interactions. This is not about going out to find a sex partner or impress people by being an entertainment monkey. It’s about creating your own excitement.

Going out alone is actually a lot more common than you might think. A couple months ago, I was in Vancouver hanging out with my buddy, and we met a girl who was out by herself. Then, a few weeks ago I took my brother out to a funky nightclub while he was in town visiting me, and as soon as we walked in, I immediately introduced myself to this gorgeous blonde, who turned out to be a choreographer…and was out by herself! It’s fascinating what you become aware of when you’re not locked into brainless beerversation with your buddies.

If your life is anything less than exciting, you’re holding yourself back. While not everyone’s current life situation makes it practical to travel the world or climb Mount Everest today, there is something everyone can do with no money down, no planning required, and you don’t even have to sell the idea to anyone else.

Solo socializing is a supreme thrill ride. Your goal needn’t be to “pick up women” or “meet guys”. You’re under no obligation to even talk to people. Find social gatherings that interest you and pursue them to your own amusement. While failure and awkwardness are virtually guaranteed early on, even if you’re good looking and well-dressed, it will get better. Social skills require practice, just like anything else, but even a bad night of “social skydiving” independently beats any movie watching marathon.