If you could live anywhere in the world, would you be living where you are now? If you were born in Tokyo, London, New York, Paris, Amsterdam, Sydney, Rio de Janeiro, Rome or one of the world’s other great cities, would you save up and move to the city in which you currently live? Are you really enamoured by the place that you call home, or are you trying to convince yourself that it’s cool because you were born there, feel stuck there, and don’t want to admit how much it sucks?
When it comes to choosing a place to live, don’t settle for anything less than somewhere that inspires you. Where you live will have a huge impact on your day-to-day life, your career opportunities, the kind of relationships you’ll have, the language you’ll speak, how safe you feel, and just about everything else, so it’s worth giving this decision some high-priority thinking and, if needed, immediate action.
I’ve lived all around the world including Central Canada, Eastern Europe, England, and now Montreal. Between 2002 and 2005 I moved between different cities and countries about half a dozen times, not including all the travelling I did during that same period. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t consider whether I might prefer living somewhere else. Whenever I’m anything less than madly in love with the place I call home, I pack up and leave.
Should You Move?
How do you know if you really want to move? In my experience, world indexes on the “most livable cities” are virtually meaningless for deciding what’s right for you. What other people say about your city, good or bad, doesn’t mean much. Even what you tell other people about your city isn’t necessarily a good indicator of what you really think.
Figuring out whether a city is right for you is like figuring out whether a girl or guy is right for you: It all comes down to following your heart. Consider the questions posed at the beginning of this article and answer them when nobody’s looking.
How do you really feel about where you live?
What I Look For
Of course, different people want different things. Some people hate cities altogether. Personally, I love big cities. I love the bustle and beat. While I love Mother Nature, I prefer being surrounded by human nature. Here are the things I look for in a place to live, in no particular order:
- Bustle. I find crowds energizing, and when you get a lot of people together in a relatively small space interesting things happen.
- Beautiful women. Some parts of the world are far more fashion- and health-conscious than others. Other parts of the world use clothing to cover up the fact that they aren’t very health-conscious.
- Fewer malls. More shop-lined streets. There’s nothing quite like strolling down High Street on a sunny afternoon while sipping on a latte.
- Good underground transport. Big cities are usually one big traffic jam. I don’t want to own a car anyway, so it’s important that I can get around quickly on public transport.
- Laid-backness. I like cities that are open-minded and don’t take themselves too seriously. I look for places that are tolerant of all forms of human behaviour except, of course, that which would hurt others.
- Architecture. A lot of cities, particularly in North America, seem to have downtowns full of ugly box-shaped buildings. Beautiful architecture is inspirational and boosts a city’s morale. It’s even better when the city can mix historic landmarks with newer urban creations.
- Culture shock. While English is my mother tongue, I prefer living in not-English. Living outside of your cultural comfort zone makes every day more interesting.
Finding Paradise
The only way to really know if a city is right for you is to go there. But for some reason when people travel, they suddenly become museum buffs and art critics. Why? Visitor attractions are really just visitor distractions. They keep the guided touristas out of the way of the people who live there.
If you really want to put your finger on the pulse of a city, go where the locals go. If you find a club whose front door is in a back alley and is covered up by graffiti and bird poop, you’re probably in for a treat. When I was in Berlin, I ended up at a squat party where a three-toothed Argentinian guy was playing us Red Hot Chili Peppers songs on his guitar. Things got even more interesting when he decided to hang his balls out to impress the women in the crowd.
No matter where I go, I’m always evaluating a place from the standpoint of what it would be like to live there. Not only because I may actually move there if I like it, but because it’s way more fun to immerse yourself as a local, than to keep your distance as a tourist.
Taking the Plunge
I’ve moved all over the place. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money. I moved from London to Lithuania when I owed more money on my credit card than I had in my bank account. Unless your debt problems are really serious, don’t let tight finances slow you down. If you’re going to be in debt, you might as well be in debt in a city you love. Here are some things to keep in mind when relocating:
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When I decided I was going to move to Montreal, I didn’t know anyone there. I sent some emails to local geek groups asking for a place to stay while I got set up. I ended up spending my first month in the city in a beautiful mansion in the most affluent neighbourhood in the city. The guy I lived with has since become a good friend of mine. If you can’t think of anyone to contact at your destination, try CouchSurfing.
- You will meet new people. A lot of people are afraid of leaving their friends behind. But any friends worth keeping will not forget about you when you’re gone, and making new friends is purely a function of the effort you put into it.
- Choose your neighbourhood wisely. If you’ve taken the effort of relocating across the country or even across the world, don’t sell yourself short when it comes to finding the right ‘hood. When I moved to Montreal, I settled into a really cool, vibrant, artsy neighbourhood. I found a slummy building on an otherwise beautiful avenue, right across the street from a beautiful park where large crowds could be heard cheering at the free shows held every night. For $500/month, I was living the life.
- Don’t get too comfortable at first. This is particularly relevant if you didn’t have a chance to visit the city before you moved there. When I moved to Lithuania, I rented a furnished apartment and otherwise lived out of a backpack. And it was a good thing, because 30 days later I moved back to England. Before you start buying all kinds of things that will be a pain to move later, make sure you’ve had time to figure out if you really want to stay there.
- You might not need a work permit. If you’re moving to a country of which you’re not a citizen, getting the right work and/or residence permits can be a hassle. Consider looking at your family tree to see what other citizenships you may be entitled to. For example, when I wanted to relocate to England in 2002, I knew getting the paperwork done would be an uphill battle. I did some research into my family tree and found out that I was also entitled to German citizenship. I went to the German consulate, filed my application, and two years later (!) got my certificate of German citizenship. Now it’s easy for me to live and work anywhere in the EU. Not only that, but I can more easily work in other countries where Canadians require a visa, but Germans don’t.
- Learning a new language isn’t that hard. Within three months of moving to Quebec City, my French went from zero to conversational. There’s no better or more efficient way to learn a language than to immerse yourself in it every minute of the day.
My Favourite Cities
Everybody has their own favourite cities. Here are my top three:
- Montreal. Gorgeous, high-fashion, yet down-to-earth women, bilingual vibrance, and reasonably priced food and accomodation. Summer in downtown Montreal is one big nonstop party in the streets.
- London. London is so dirty it literally turns your snot black. And there’s almost no way to make eye contact with people. Still, it has every culture and lifestyle you can imagine, and it’s a great launching point to explore the rest of Europe.
- Tokyo. Tokyo is proof that there is life on other planets. The signs are written in some strange alien language and the technology is light years ahead of the rest of the world. It’s a wicked culture shock.
Few decisions will have a more significant impact on your day-to-day life than where you decide to live. The place you call home will affect everything from the kind of people you meet, to the career opportunities at your disposal, to the language you speak, to how much money you have left over at the end of the month to spend on things other than food and rent.
While it can be difficult to admit that your hometown sucks, the good news is that moving elsewhere is much easier than you think.
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What a ridiculous list of desirable features. Crowds (pollution, congestion, disease, jostling, rudeness, crime). Shopping (consumerism, price gouging, useless baubles and junk). Underground transport (crime, crowds, dirt, inconvienence).
I like the idea behind all thats written here but I dont know if theres such thing as a perfect place for everyone (namely me). I like things that are so oppisite that theres no one city/town that could ever cover it all.
@Jt:
I agree. There is no perfect location. There are several places I’ve been to that I would readily move to if I ever got bored of where I am now.
Some of your thoughts strike me as being a tad immature. But, alas, you’ll grow up. You mention some great cities, but Tokyo? Really? To me, it is without soul. A city on auto-pilot that can’t stop for even a second of humanity. I travel a lot and find myself today in a new city that I had never known before. It isn’t one that would be on your list today, but you’ll be able to appreciate in another 15-20 years. There are many cities, all over the American Midwest, that I’d take in a blink over London. There’s no right or wrong, it takes all kinds to appreciate all kinds.
@Gerard:
I agree that there’s no right or wrong, and that different people will want different things. Heck, I lived in a city of 45,000 people in the North of England and had a great time there.
My point was mainly to get people thinking about where they live and encourage them to aim as high as possible (by whatever standard they prefer) in choosing a place to call home, while also offering a few tips that have worked for me in moving from one place to another.
I think the guidelines offered are a good starting point; enough to get a person thinking. I think a lot of people settle because ‘its just too hard’ to move.
Where we want to live changes with where we are in our heads at any given moment. I like the idea behind this post that encourages us to not get stuck in any one place for all the wrong reasons, but encourages us to think about movement and new horizons.
“Wherever you go, there you are.” Relocation can be great fun but don’t expect it to be a panacea.
Brad – good piece of writing. i enjoyed reading it. i googled: “choosing a place to live in london” and it was first result. felt negative comments needed some balance.
Mature or dead & tired?
I enjoyed your topic. It’s similar to how I feel. I am about to move to Vancouver a city I always loved but remained in Calgary for 8 years and traveling the world within that time but not Moving on feeling that I had already left my hometown and needed to make my home and not just move all the time. I was wrong and now I don’t regret but wish I had stayed in Italy when I had the chance or a bunch of other cities. We are all different and we have to live life to the fullest whatever that is for each of us. Everyone wants to be right and put there two cents in but you just explained how you felt and I think this spoke to me because my mind works in a similar way. I remember a couple on a train in Austria I think that said they lived where the jobs were. I said I lived where I wanted to go. Maybe not everyone has that opportunity. I know for a fact they don’t because I have a friend in the Phillippines that cannot leave her country. So seize the day if you are able to live your dreams.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Don’t kid yourself.
I think also an important question is how to make money while living abroad.
Do you happen to have any insights on what someone getting a psychology degree can do?
This article appears a little older, but I really enjoyed it nonetheless! It reminded me that there is still hope and I don’t have to be stuck where I am forever. I wish it was as easy as packing my bags, but now I have to pack the house, the bags, the hubby & the kids! A little more to think about. I’ve lived in some of the greatest cities in the U.S. and I know what you mean about the hum of the city (bustle & beat). I love it and crave it! I think you either love it or you hate it. My dad will avoid a city at all costs. He will take the time to drive around it if he can. Me, I want to be in the heart of it!
I wish you well on all your moving adventures. Hopefully you will always keep that free spirit.
I don’t see the point in criticizing Brad’s list: each to their own and what matters at one stage of life may not be as important at another. One probably has to find out for oneself.
I certainly had a similar list in my 20s when I moved from the gorgeous (if somewhat David Lynch-like) city of my birth to a larger metropolis (three times the population). Yes there was more of everything there – more arts, more people, more music, more food, more cool, more more more – which was what I wanted. But the move was ultimately a failure. Unlike friends who had made the same move – mostly professional musicians or wannabes – I had not developed a viable plan to enter a high profile creative career. If you’re lost where you are you’ll probably be just as lost somewhere else. The trick is to get un-lost (I’m still trying). I *hated* the weather there – never underestimate the effect of climate on your mood and health. Most of my friends who made the same move did extremely well in every way though some still moved on later. I sank into a lost quagmire, took an awful job to try to salvage some self respect, lost my life partner who I loved and became quite physically ill. Of course it wasn’t all the new city’s fault, much of it was just me. It always is.
By contrast: much later in life I have ended up living what some would regard as a dream. I’m in a little modern penthouse with beach views on a beautiful island in the Mediterranean, in an astounding chaotic ancient city which is overrun by tourism in the summer.
But it’s always work to carve out a life wherever you are and I’ve had problems. The immediate social network of expats – though often fascinating – is way too small, incestuous and way too saturated in alcohol. Expats here are often directionless, either drop outs from the 70s or retirees or scraping out a living in shitty jobs. Nonetheless everyone come to like the laid-back lifestyle here. Making friends with tourists is almost always a loss leader imho though it is good practice. You rarely ever see them again. For some friends, this is an advantage for one-night stands etc.
I’ve concluded that the only way to fully enjoy what this place has to offer is to learn the local language which is difficult. But with that, I could break out of the expat ghetto of effectively only about a 100 people max (there are many more but you have to go further afield). There a very few or no viable attractive expat women locally for example. Mingling more freely with the locals would immediately open up a large local population including many drop dead gorgeous looking women of various nationalities and ages, most of whom speak only a few words of english, and many interesting and eccentric companions.
So my principal piece of advice is: learn the local language. Now I have to gird my loins to take my own advice.
My other piece of advice is: get involved. Sports, arts, music, whatever the expats are up to that you’re also into – get involved in something. That’s the best way to make friends. And beware of falling into a heavy drinking pattern.