Comments on: Live Your Own Adventure; Let Her Join You for the Ride

By: cake

cake — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:14:37 +0000

@eephemerid
I’m a female in your age range – and feel that women do now have the same options men do – to “follow your passions, both professional and personal, and never fear an unwanted pregnancy”.
At first glance, it may not seem true, but women actually have more choices for parenthood. If having a child is a real life priority, women have the option of a sperm donor and having a child that is as biologically their own as if they had a partner, but with automatic legal custody – men don’t get that option. Several of my friends have done this because they knew they wanted children, but no reasonable man on the scene, and while it’s not easy, parenthood never is.
We also have control over that “unwanted pregnancy” (many thanks to Dr. Carl Djerassi and Roe v Wade and condom manufacturers everywhere). Reproductive choice is one of the most liberating things to happen to women. The choice is somewhat limited by the laws of the country you live in, but in most developed nations, the choice is still a choice.
Since recent studies suggest that older fathers have a higher incidence of children with autism, I’m not so sure it’s wise for guys to wait until middle age either…
I don’t let being over 40 keep you from having the relationship you want to have – and don’t let your ego (or the opinions of others) keep you from having it either.

By: eephemerid

eephemerid — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:32:18 +0000

I stumbled on your blog via 43Things. I’m female and probably about 20 years your senior. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I would like to point out that being a man is a sweet thing…really it is. You can follow your passions, both professional and personal, and never fear an unwanted pregnancy. You can have the luxury of deciding to have children whenever you wish, even waiting well into your middle years. I think that’s why women find it difficult to be 40s and let go of relationships. We don’t get as many chances to roll the dice.

By: icecoldqueen

icecoldqueen — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 09:38:47 +0000

Hey there. I enjoyed this post. And I’m not speaking on behalf of all women, but I personally agree with all your points.

I’ve read The Game. Heck, I’ve even been approached by a PUA here in Singapore.

But at the end of the day, it’s all about being exhibiting leadership qualities and self-respect.

Cheers!

By: Brad Bollenbach

Brad Bollenbach — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:55:14 +0000

Hey biggahboy,

Sounds very Super-Mario-esque. :) From what I’ve Goooooogle’d, that book offers a perspective of masculinity in a Christian context, which does sound pretty interesting.

By: biggahboy

biggahboy — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 06:59:19 +0000

there is a book, “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge. it talks about discovering the soul of a man and he states the 3 main things a man needs are An adventure to live, a battle to fight and a beauty to rescue.(which he dedicated a whole chapter and is very insightful) so u gt this on point Brad, and ur article actually put a couple of things in perspective for me. nice work man ;p

By: Brad Bollenbach

Brad Bollenbach — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 13:37:13 +0000

Hey Robert,

It’s funny that you mention 40/40, because that balance also occurred to me when I was writing this. I totally agree with you that, basically, both people should be living an adventure.

I think that’s another perfectly valid way to look at this. Great point.

By: Robert

Robert — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:09:32 +0000

I agree with absolutely everything in this article, except the 60/40. I’d like it to be more like 40/40, even though that’s not exactly mathematically kosher. =)
The most interesting girls, as well as guys, are the leaders, so ideally you’d have two leaders with their own great lives, and a great relationship in the middle. Yeah, that’s not very easy.

I’m still working on the walk away part, I’m not very good at ending things, but I’d like to be, because what you say is true. :)