by Brad Bollenbach, October 19, 2007

Girl Playing Guitar

We cannot think first and act afterward. From the moment of birth we are immersed in action, and can only fitfully guide it by taking thought.

Alfred North Whitehead

It’s the starting point for almost every personal development geek: What do I want to do with my life?

You’ve no doubt learned many of the questions you’re supposed to ask at this point: What would you do with your life if you had $100,000,000 in the bank? What would you do even if you weren’t getting paid to do it? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

And the questions get more and more clever: What would you do if you already had the relationship of your dreams? What would you do if retirement weren’t an option? What would you do if…zzzZZ…zZzZZ…camel approached you in the desert…zZzZ…zZz…you had to choose between terminal cancer, dying in a plane crash, or…zZZ…zzz…

Ever notice how you can ask yourself these question for days, weeks, months, even years, and still not arrive at a satisfactory answer? It’s like you’re training for the Indecision Olympics, and you’re gunning for the Gold.

The drawback with a question-oriented approach to this problem is that it’s at best a limited way to attack the issue, and at worst can easily point you in the wrong direction and cost you a lot of time, money, and effort. To understand why, think of it this way: If I were to ask you where your ideal place to live would be, what would you say? Your range of informed responses would be limited to only those places you’ve already visited, none of which may actually be ideal for you. Naming somewhere you hadn’t yet been would be just a guess. Yet for some reason, we think we can ask our way into our ideal life, making key navigational decisions based on limited experiential data or even none at all.

Figuring out what you want in life is not about asking the right questions. It’s about taking massive action across a wide variety of domains and determining which activities you enjoy most. You can ponder all you want, but when it comes to discovering your passions, the only substitute for raw experience tested against the measuring stick of your emotions is, well, nothing.

To figure out what you’re madly in love with in any aspect of your life, become an experience gourmand. Try as many things as you can. Live every day as a taste test and savour the flavours you cook up through trial and error. Activate your Weird Idea Radar: when you see an opportunity to try something you’d normally consider off the beaten path, Just Do It. Not only is an action addiction infinitely more fun than ready-aim-aim-aiming, it will also give you a much more accurate and precise idea of what your true passions are.

For example, a couple of years ago a musically-talented friend of mine proposed the idea of starting a recorder group. You know, that plastic stick thing that you played in music class in grade three? Yep, that’s the one. This proposal set my Weird Idea Radar off so loudly that it almost shattered windows.

Which is exactly why I said Yes.

We ended up playing once a week, off and on, for about a year. It was fun and it certainly paved new neural pathways in my harmonically-challenged brain. While I never got deeply into it, I did enjoy the social experience of learning and practicing new songs. I eventually ended up leaving the recorder world behind, but not without first experiencing many moments of musical ecstasy. Heh.

Asking questions is still useful, of course. The problem occurs when you start spending all your time asking questions and little time out in the world finding answers. How long is too long to be stuck in thoughtspace? In my experience, the answer is usually a line drawn by frustration. When you start feeling disappointed with yourself and annoyed that you’re whittling away in a whirlpool of wondering, it’s time to shake things up and hitch a ride to anywhere you haven’t been before.



Comments

[…] Bollenbach presents Finding Your Passion posted at 30 sleeps, saying, “Figuring out what you truly love to do is about much more than […]

the prisoner's wife on October 29th, 2007 at 6:14 pm #

“It’s like you’re training for the Indecision Olympics, and you’re gunning for the Gold.”

THAT cracked me up!

funny, i JUST posted about this (passion-finding) not 2 minutes ago & i asked myself a series of questions…LOL. but you’re right, if we spend all of our time in our heads, we’ll never get to this illusive passion we seek.

i’m glad i stumbled onto your blog! i shall return.

Brad Bollenbach on October 31st, 2007 at 12:39 pm #

@the prisoner’s wife:

I know what you mean. It’s tempting to kick back into Question Cruise Control, and just keep asking your way to retirement.

I hope this article offers insight to those who feel handcuffed by internal debate.

Doug on November 3rd, 2007 at 11:26 am #

There’s no substitute for experience, AMEN; I’ve been working on this exact same thing with myself

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Sangrail on December 13th, 2007 at 10:54 pm #

Some people in my city started a 12 person, Ukulele Orchestra - exactly the sort of fun idea you talk about. ;)

Thanks for the inspiration - good reminder to try a few things soon!

richiemond on December 22nd, 2007 at 8:48 pm #

yay to this appraoch!

Преждевременная оптимизация on February 11th, 2008 at 7:22 am #

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Outstanding Club » Outstanding Links - April 21, 2008 on April 20th, 2008 at 11:28 pm #

[…] Finding Your Passions - another interesting (and in my opinion fascinating) approach to figuring out what your passions are in life Figuring out what you want in life is not about asking the right questions. It’s about taking massive action across a wide variety of domains and determining which activities you enjoy most. […]

K on June 22nd, 2008 at 7:23 pm #

THANK. YOU.

I’m one of those personal development geeks, and I’m also at the beginning of my college career, and I have asked every question in the book and have grown increasingly frustrated at the total lack of answers. This is a godsend, because somehow or other I know you’re absolutely right.

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