Good stuff! I’ve been stone sober my entire life (21 now) and I can’t even begin to recount all the parties I’ve been to this year. I’ve had a blast at almost every one of them, and I’m usually even more outgoing and crazy than the drunk crowd. I warmly recommend trying it, and sticking with it, for all of the reasons that you’ve listed, and more. It’s a really fun challenge, and yeah, it takes a little time, but I think everyone can learn to become the life of the party, without a single drop of alcohol.

Fire Your Drinking Buddies — this is the key!!!

Quit drinking is easy, i did it a 100 times :))) … serious, if u r not an alcoholic all u need to do is to redesign your social life, i’m in the process of doing just that and i can tell u that it’s not a easy think to do.

i’m 30 and many of my good friends got married so we don’t spend so much time together

i live in a stupid country and many of my good friends emigrated so we don’t spend any time together

that lives me with the losers :) to ugly to get married, to dumb to live :) and we go to work 9-5 then get together and drink … hard :) … life is great

i’ve decided to quit my job, to leave this dusty city, move to country-side, stop drinking and start writing a book (not in english, don’t worry, i’m not that naive)

so it can be done, it must be done, let’s do it :)

Interesting post! I’m also tempted to completely give up drinking. I’m quite down from the levels I had some years ago but I still like the occasional glass of red wine with a meal or ONE cocktail at some party. It’s just very relaxing. And I don’t think it’s wrong.

But there’s of course the risk of falling back and saying, well, I’ve got one, why not two, etc …

Oh, and it also helps that my body feels much more sick after a hard night then 10 years ago so the motivation to get wasted is greatly reduced anyway … ;)

[…] a friend of mine pointed out a really good blog post on “How to Quit Drinking Alcohol.” The section I really like is where the author talks about the reasons for quitting drinking. […]

http://www.succeedsocially.com/drinking

has some tips at the end about how to reduce the flak you can get from not drinking in social situations. The rest of the article…is interesting…

Oh, I notice some self-improvement enthusiasts are a little too eager to dump their olds friends, for not being growth oriented, holding them back, etc. I see the point, but I can’t help but think it’s not always the best to always be kicking people out of your life…

A great tool for quitting drinking is the medication Disulfram, aka “Antabuse.” Taking it interferes with your body’s ability to metabolize alcohol, which means you’ll get sick if you drink. I’ve heard the sickness described as the worst hangover of your life, which is a good way to phrase it for problem drinkers.

This might sound terrible and something you’d never want to do, but think about this. Antabuse makes quitting simpler because you only have to have willpower for 5 minutes a day in the morning, long enough to take the pill. After that, it takes no real willpower to stay dry. You just have to not be a moron.

One of the hardest things about putting down an addiction is the internal debating that goes on. You want to avoid alcohol, but you get into a haggle with yourself. “I’ll have just one,” then “No, I shouldn’t,” and then “One won’t hurt” on to “But what if it becomes more than one,” to “No, I can do it…” This is stressful and a drag and unless you have tremendous willpower, you will probably give in.

Antabuse makes this simple. Your only thought is “Oh yeah, I can’t drink. Guess that’s out.” It’s like stepping over a threshold that makes drinking a really faraway concept - not an option. This can really simplify the internal debate and make the whole thing academic instead of a struggle.

All the good advice in the world isn’t enough sometimes. If you know you should stop, then you already know what you need to know. More talk and thought isn’t going to help.

This little pharmaceutical cop can really turn all that around. Be cautious. You are very sensitive to alcohol while taking it. Even small amounts in shampoo or deodorant can make you ill. Consult a doctor and do your homework. Don’t start taking it unless you’ve been alcohol free for 72 hours, and don’t drink for as much as 2 weeks after you stop taking it.

Good luck, all.

That succeed socially article is pretty interesting. I actually quit drinking twice. The first time, I did it for six months and didn’t miss it, but I got tired of the grief I got from all my drinking friends. And when I met people when out socializing, as soon as it got out that I didn’t drink, the whole vibe would get uncomfortable. Then suddenly people felt guilty like I was judging them for drinking (which I totally wasn’t). Then they felt the need to tell me how much they drink, how they plan to quit, etc. It was so much of a headache that I just started drinking again.

I quit again, but this time it doesn;t seem to be that big a deal. I think because I’m a lot more personally comfortable with the decision this time around, so the energy’s different somehow and people pick up on that.

@Ben:

I’m not a big fan of medication but that does sound like a pretty strong pain association for those who are willing. :) And, of course, the harder the addiction a person’s trying to break, the more they’ll have to make it sting to not break it.

I’m 24 and have been drinking socially on average twice a week for almost ten years. I’m starting this challenge on New Year’s Eve, so that I can start the New Year without alcohol. By 11:59 on Dec. 31. 2007 I am not aloud to take another sip of alcohol for the all of 2008. Instead of bribing myself, I’ve started a fundraiser with the Canadian Liver Foundation, so that this challenge doesn’t only affect me, but will also affect a non-profit organization. I haven’t even started yet and I am receiving mixed feelings about my year of prohibition. I’ve decided to plan a trip following the year with the potential money I will save. This is probably the biggest challenge I will ever overcome and I’m really excited to tackle it!

first of all, antabuse is off the market due to deaths re. heavy alcoholics. just thought some of you should know that. Anyhoo, it’s off the market in Canada.
i’m at the point in my life were alcohol is overwhelming and horrible for me. tis nice too see this website!
keep it up guys and gals.
s

@Jen:

Sounds awesome. I hope you’ll let us know how it goes.

@shannon:

Thanks for the heads up re: antabuse.

Hi All, I am 26 and don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic. However, my intuition is starting to tell me that I am becoming alittle dependent of drinking in social situations. I am an outgoing person, but subconciously avioding situations with alcohol if I don’t feel like drinking. I’d like to feel in control. So, as suggested, am giving up alcohol for the month of January. Does anyone know of online support groups for this kind of thing? Thanks!
Laura

Amazing how powerful this drug alcohol is. I also swore a January free from it, and yet just downed a 22oz 8.2% alcohol.

I hope to go on anta-abuse this week, if it does not interfere with my other meds (another reason, as if I need another why I should not persist in this insanity which is drinking).

I do believe, that I need something else to make me stop. Money given to a friend wouldn’t do it. I am too weak and am willing to admit it.

Good luck to all of you, may you have the strength that I today lacked.

My sole solace and strength is in my realization that I have a severe problem and know that unless it is fixed I will not live a life I am capable of.

I’m on my first night of quitting, only because my DOCTOR told me i need to. I’m only 20 but have been drinking for 5 years. Its gotten to the point where every other day i drink a 40 ouncer of whiskey or vodka then go out to the bar and spend more money. I’m broke all the time because i spend my paychecks on booze. I drink during the day because it helps my ADHD settle down and I can relax, otherwise im all over the place, but I can’t deal with it without alcohol. Alcoholism isn’t reserved for older people, there are tons of young people out there like me. Each and every single one of my friends drink, friends of 15 years, so I can’t ditch on them, I really don’t see anything good coming out of this. Alcohol is bad news.

Hi, I am 38 and I am an alcoholic. I enjoy drinking and do so every night-at least 5 beers. While I have certain health risks as it is, the alcohol only compounds them and ads to potential health problems This is my main concern since, not only would I rob my wife of numerous productive, quality years if she has to care for me, but as I write she has gone to bed since my company is not worth keeping at this point in the eve. Nevertheless, I am writing because I want to quit drinking. I have quit off and on for over 25 years, and have good memories to support sobriety that occurred during that time. However, I have come to a place-perhaps all too complacent– where I experience only short periods of guilt for the above reasons, and rationalize my way to drinking after work every eve (I work 3-11 P.M.). If I could get around that urge, I feel that I could quit. Any suggestions.

@Chris:

You sound like you’re serious about quitting drinking. The fact that you even comment here reinforces that.

When you quit drinking, what do you replace that time with? Having something better to do is pretty important, IMHO.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve quit for? I usually find the first 2 or 3 weeks are the grueling part of quitting anything.

Can you do a 30-day trial of quitting drinking?

What could you do to associate massive pain to breaching a 30-day commitment like that? (Something that would hurt pretty bad, but at the same time, not something that would destroy your life.) For example, I bet if your doctor told you “Dude, if you keep this up, you’re going to get testicular cancer within a month”, you’d quit pretty darn fast. (Totally made up example, of course. I’m just pointing out how valuable finding the right pain associations can be to kick any bad habit.)

Also, you might find books like Power of Now and A New Earth helpful. They teach you to, among other things, observe problems like this, rather than get lost in them. When you can take that step from “this is me” to “this is what my ego wants”, you create space around the problem, and give it room to fade away.

Brad: Thanks for the insight and suggestions. Today I have challenged myself to the 30 sobriety task. The urge has hit at this point, but I have managed to stave it off and do some aerobic exercise as an alternative. I will keep you posted as I “mark off” the days on my calendar.

i would consider myself an alcoholic. im 26 and this new years eve i didnt stick to my promises again ,im drunk right now too.it is so easy and exciting to sit here and look and read ways to quit , but in reality it is very hard when u keep relapsing , but easy if u stick to a goal ,which i need.the last time i quite for two weeks without a drink and i felt prety clear headed .but then i started again and it was super excellent .but now i just drink too much , and it is very dark and depressing most times and the only way to rid it is more frosty lagars or cool ales and long necks of home brews! thats all i like is beer. but i have become a personality deprived loner from drinking too much and i know it will change if i stop it. please help or send your thoughts to me . akkasoothy@hotmail.com . thank u

Hi, I am from India. I am 48 years old and I tell you I could drink.Yes I could drink dont ask me how much because I dont know my own limits. My freinds used to call me a well never gets full. I used to feel proud to know I was the biggest drinker and ofcourse spender in my club.Till one day I came across this site. Today I am proud to say I have not touched alchohol since 15th of December and I tell all of you who will read this Please Give It Up and you will realize life is beautifulm without alchohol.

I am 19 years old. I have been told that If i carry on the way I have been I have an extremely high risk of developing cirosis of the liver within 2 years. This alone was not a big enough incentive for me. However I have been thinking deeply recently and I know life can be so beautiful, I truly beleive this, It has got to the point I felt I could not even enjoy films or watching Tv without Alcohol. Thats a pretty sad case of affairs. So, Its change time, my personal thoughts are that feeling proud and super self confident would beat the feeling of being drunk/tipsy hands down. So this is my goal, stop the drinking and do what is neccesary to feel brilliant as myself, a person. Not have to drink to feel good. This is a great site and to everyone taking on this challenge also, Good luck. We can do it!

Oh yeah, forgot to say this is my 1st day sober. And Im feeling good already!

Yes, I have quit drinking in the past but drifted back to it recent years and my consumption got ridiculously out of proportion that even I,m ashamed of it I haven’t drank in 2 days I 46 and have been drinking since I was 17 I know if I don’t stop most likely die or feel like I want to.

Thanks for this. Today is Day One of 30. i can do this, and with your helpful post and all the other reasons why i decided last night (also at 3am) i was done for awhile, i will keep these ideas fresh in my mind.

I’m only 23 and already searching for these kinds of websites at such an early age. Sometimes I feel like I’m making too much of a big deal out of nothing only because I’m just young and having fun and going out 2 or 3 times a week to my “home” bar. But I know it’s serious b/c it’s become the same pattern now for months and months. I’m super healthy (working out, eating really good, drinking tons of water) for a day or 2 then my husband and I go to the bar right after work and I have 5-6 cocktails then we go to a fast food place then go to bed. I get crappy sleep then wake up depressed and hungover and end up either calling into work or leaving early. I have only gone 2 weeks without drinking in the past 3 years. My husband and I are all about just being healthy and working out, but then I mention the bar and we just can’t get over this hump! It’s really driving me crazy b/c it’s like I have 2 personalities; I’m ashamed of my current lifestyle. We went out last night and I called into work today and always tell myself it was the last time, but so far it hasn’t been. Maybe this time last night really was the last night…I hope so.

Hi , I have been in the past a social drinker having between 10 and 15 pints of lager a week when out with friends.

My new year resolution was to stop for a months and so far it’s been going really well. Have not had a drop since new years eve. The only thing is that my sleep has been unsettled, this being the only negative. The major benefit is that im losing weight around my mid drift. hurray. it was my intention to give up for a month but now im thinking of doing it for febuary also (as it’s a short month) Ive been going to bars with friends as usual and drinking soda water and lime. Pint of it and am now very partial to this tipple.

hi all im 39 and an alcoholic im not proud of it but alcohol has come part of my life i drink 8 cans every night even more on weekends, ive had councelling before but that never worked i lost my driving license through drink ive just completed a drink drive rehab course and i get my license back on my 40th birthday, ive been to my doctors and asked for help he said you need counselling i told him that doesnt work for me he refused to give me antabuse im just waiting for my liver test results to come back i know my liver will be damaged but even my own doctor wont help me,when i try to stop drinking i get so stressed and moody i take it out on everyone, all i want is someone to help me.. its my daughters 3rd birthday today ive been awake since 3 am and ive decided im gonna try again just for her and her sister.. any advice from anyone would be helpful

Im on day 2 of my 30 day trial. If I fail my wife and daughter are going to leave me. I have loved her for 22 years. That should be enough pain!

It is amazing how good I feel having not had anything to drink in 5 days. I sleep all night without waking up. No night sweats, no hangovers. I have already saved over a $100. I have lost 5 lbs. I hope I never drink again, I cant’ see anything good coming from it.

2 years sober this summer, after drinking for 10 years every day.-29 now-. I went back to school last semester after 5 years and got a 3.5 g.p.a. I also lost 75 lbs. in the last 1.5 years, got all my credit cleaned up, parents trust me again etc. I had to hit rock bottom enough to finally be sick and tired of being sick and tired. I did this without A/A which i believe is a type of cult. My doctor also prescribed me antabuse. I haven’t taken it in over a year. You either want to quit or you don’t. That simple.

RATIONAL RECOVERY (google it)

This is the second time I’ve quit drinking in the last few months. Tonight has been 9 days, it’s been tough at times but worth it! I sleep better and have more energy and my mind is clearer.

Hi, Chris here. I am on day 28 of the 30 day challenge. I feel great (I am much clearer and sharper mentally and not as tired physically). I still crave beer but not as much. When I do, I call my wife or try and get involved in something like busy work or exercise. Especially, if I am at home with time on my hands. I realize that I have an illness, and have resigned myself to visits with old friends that drink, only when I feel strong enough. I am thankful that they support me in this although I’m certain that they would enjoy me a little more if I joined in the festivity of drinking a few with them. Nevertheless, I could not disown my friends or family (my father drinks). It is certainly possible to keep your circle of friends and family close to you if you try in all the right ways (capitalize on those moments when alcohol is not the focus of the time together). I have been finding other things in common with them and have been nurturing these relationships based on those things. I wish the best for those of you struggling with alcoholism. I am here, sober and ready to share any knowledge that may help or enlighten any of you. I am thankful for this site and the initial challenge from Brad. “thanks Brad!!” I can’t explain the reason his suggestion compelled me so. I can only assume that perhaps just hearing from someone who has “been there” is more powerful than I realized; at least at this point in my life. Talk to you all soon.

I think you have some valuable information here. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, except that my level of drinking is affecting my friendships.

After a few drinks I feel like it’s all or nothing, and go for the goal of getting very drunk. Although I’m generally friendly even when drunk there have been times I’ve been mean or beligerent. So, I want to stop for that reason. It’s starting to affect the people I care about, which is unaccecptable to me. Honestly I wish I could keep drinking, I just don’t want the consequenses I can see coming.

I appreciate the tips you gave and will use them in my life. Thanks.

As a crack addict who does crack only when drinking, I know I have to stop drinking. I can easily stop crack when my head is clear but give me a six-pack and its back to wanting crack. 15 out of 16 times I can drink without slipping but on the next drunk I go all out and binge like a mad man. I leave my wife and 3 children while I escape and feel horrible the entire time. The last time was 6 days ago. My wife told me that unless I quit drinking she’ll leave me 100% this time. I know she is serious so I got serious. I haven’t smoked cigarettes for 5 days, drank, or used crack. I’m not even craving anything to much. I feel that by quitting one I might as well quit everything which makes me hate myself. Its a very positive vibe I have right now, and I am going to try to hold on to this feeling with all my might. I can’t slip, I’ll hate myself for giving up the last chance I’ll have to do the right thing for me and my family.

[…] are loads of great websites on the net offering advice for self improvement or changing habits. However, if you’re not having […]

I’m 31 and worried I might be an alcoholic, although I’m still calling this periodical abuse. Although this site, and others, + therapy helps a little, I don’t know how or when to quit - would like to get in touch with someone who has successfully done so for a little while…

I have had an issue with alcohol for a couple years. I am 21 and it’s ruined a lot of things for me already. I want to stop, but when I go to sleep without booze in me, I don’t sleep at all…I hate tossing and turning all-night when I know I can stop it with a few drinks. In the past 2 years I might have been sober for maybe 30 nights out of 730 nights. I think the biggest problem is my sleep, nothing but alcohol works. I have used all the “over-the-counter” sleep aids and all of them don’t do anything for me. Its very depressing.

I know how it feels regarding the sleep issue. I have problems sleeping unless I drink. I quit for 3 years once and that was a great time in my life. I got back drinking about a year ago because of relationship problems, and now I am without that relationship, but still drinking beers every night before bed. I want to quit again but I hate the tossing,turning and nightmares I have when I sleep without drinking, my brain just keeps on working overtime. I don’t go out to drink anymore because I promised myself I won’t drink and drive ever again. Why put others at risk because of my addiction. I have no social life because I just sit at home and drink after work and class. I am 47 and am attending college, I don’t study enough but my grades are good so I am not motivated to drink less often. I am working on my brain to quit again. I know that I must to get back to a better life, also I can’t afford it. Thank you for reading this, I feel less alone. Any advice will be appreciated.

Sandie, I just have to say wow, we are in the same boat, with college and trying to deal with personal issues such as this. It’s great to hear you are attending college now, with ample grades…again I am in the same boat…Drinking and driving is 110% outa the question with me, I had 3 friends killed by a drunk driver when I was in high school so I really steer clear away from that! But I understand exactly what you’re saying, the tossing and turning + nightmares….its incredible the power your brain has over us…

Great site, im 32 and it looks like i may drink more than most of you a night out for me consists of about 8 glasses of beer followed by 15 to 20 jack and cokes this takes me about 6-8 hours and 80 dollars to accomplish. i have been able to quit for ten days in the past and im trying again my biggest problem is my wife she seems to drive me to drink i think my first step is probaly to leave her.

It’s funny I should come across this site today. I googled how to quit drinking without AA. Back in 1996, I quit drinking for 10 years. I remember that I had decided it was starting to become a problem and made a decision on my own to quit drinking. Of course it was the start of the New Year, and after work I would be driving home and consider stopping in the liquor store for a bottle of wine and then tell myself “I don’t do that anymore”, and not get the bottle. It was a bad habit and I was trying to break it. After a time it just got easier and easier, I never went to bars so that was not a problem. Eventually I started a new job which was nice and when people asked me to go out for a drink, I just said I don’t drink. It was something everyone just knew about me so it was not a big deal. I never attended any 12 step AA meetings. It was WONDERFUL not drinking. Then about 2 years ago on that fateful day on a beach, I decided to have a few beers. I have been trying to quit ever since. I did go to AA for 4 months about a year ago, which in my opinion was far more grueling to attempt quitting than when I did it on my own 10 years ago. This past October I put myself on a 30 day plan for the month of October and found it quite “refreshing” not to drink. Then I went to a Halloween party and poured myself a drink knowing in my head that I really did not want this. I had the drink and I noticed an instant change in myself, I was no longer interested in playing pool, but rather content to just sit and drink my drink on the couch. Since October I have had my share of hangovers and useless days. I know in my head for me - alcohol is so nowhere - . I am grateful for this blog and am going to start my 30 days tomorrow and of course I am going to have my last glass of wine today, even though I do not want it, funny how the human mind plays tricks. I am thankful for this blog and I will start my plan, March 1st, I have plans to replace my drinking, such as living my life, going for walks, getting out of my house, and most importantly not having to deal with life sucking hangovers. A tip, I enjoy the feeling of the alcohol going down my throat, so I am going to find a drink that I enjoy going down my throat that makes me feel good after I drink it. Green tea perhaps, will keep you posted. Thanks once again for having this blog. I just do not want to attend AA and be surrounded by zealots. There is another way to stop, I’ve done it before and I shall do it again. Thanks

One more thing. I believe the key to any successful endeavor is that you have to “Want to”, and I really “Want to”, I’m sure there will be temptation, but if I wait for time to pass and fill my time up with things that I enjoy, I know I can do it. Also, am joining a gym that has a sauna and steam looking forward to that to get the toxins out of my body. Plus I know that not drinking will promote weight loss, nice skin and less brain loss. I look forward to peaceful sleeps, I have fitful sleeps when I drink, so I am looking forward to resting well and not waking every hour with interrupted sleep. There are more benefits to be gained by not drinking than there are when drinking. Plus, the sober buzz is permanent, doesn’t cost a thing and you can learn to cope with anything and enjoy yourself without alcohol, I did it for 10 years, and will do it again. Thanks for everyone’s comments, nice to know I am not alone.

Tip for not sleeping; excercise. I find that if I hit the gym and do a healthy workout, I have little trouble sleeping in the eve. It also takes time after quitting alchohol to get new patterns. Everyone here ended up here because they wondered or knew that alcohol was not good for their lives. I wish everyone well. You have to want this change but if you make it, you will feel amazing.

Wow Claire your 10 year change is amazing! Why did you get back on the wagon. You knew it was so great to be sober, why didnt you just make your night social and end it. (myself i cant be social, i am just curious about your reasoning) post again!

Jack, thanks alot, i had an idea that the gym would tire me out and make me sleep again….I start tomarrow, i will keep you up on the details! thanks everyone, keep posting!

I hate the nights of sleeplessness after deciding to quit drinking. I know I have a problem (1-2 bottles of wine a night– every night– sometimes even more), and each time I decide to quit, it’s like I have to “fight through” the first few nights of sleeplessness.

I’ve heard anecdotal evidence about this, but I’m trying to find actual scientific study. It’s almost as if.. right before I hit the “fall asleep” point.. my body jolts itself back awake. I can’t ever seem to cross the “sleep threshold” until trying for 4 or 5 hours. It’s always accompanied by odd dreams (maybe considered nightmares.) I do know it gets better after time, but these first few nights are so hard.

I’m so tired at work right now, and I’m finding it hard to function at all on such little sleep. Maybe I will try exercising again.

It’s good to hear everyone supporting each other here. I’ll definitely keep checking back. We can do it!

I must be very lucky to have made it this far.

I’m 46 years old and have been drinking since 16. Started drinking harder at 18 and made a huge leap when I was about 30. When I was 36 I was drinking 10 to 20 vodka martini’s a night, backed with 5 or 10 beers and 3 to 5 shots of whatever was being passed around the bar that night. I know it might sound hard to believe but yes, there were many nights that I had 20 or so martini’s 10 beers and 5 shots of whatever. This went on EVERY night (not to mention a 2 or 3 martini lunch many times) for over two years. There were occasions on a weekend I drank even more.

I doubt if there was ever more than 15 days a year since the time I was 18 that I didn’t get drunk. Of course (and I know this will really piss off a lot of people) I drove drunk all over the place. Never caused an accident and was able to (verifiably) avoid a few while completely hammered. About 9 years ago I finally got a DUI. Not because I was driving poorly, but because I didn’t use my signal to change lanes. It was 2:30 in the morning and no one was on the road behind me except for the cop who didn’t have his lights on and followed me from the bar. That night in jail was all I needed to quit driving while drinking for good. That will make a lot of people happy but contrary to popular opinion, I know for a fact that I used to drive better drunk than many people drive sober. Believe it or don’t.

I’ve worked on cutting down over the past several years and today I drink somewhere around 12 total drinks daily between beer and/or mixed drinks. I also have binge days now and again. I imagine that my liver isn’t in great shape but I’m in great physical health for my age and am very successful with my business. The problem is that I’m not able to recover as quickly as I used to and it’s starting to interfere with my day. So I’m searching online to learn about what people truly feel like after quitting for a reasonable period of time. Haven’t found much yet but would like to hear from those who were hardcore drinkers what it’s like to not drink. I quit for a couple of days and was very bored. I don’t like TV very much so maybe I need a hobby.

I wish all of you the best of luck in getting over your addiction. Sounds like many of you have a huge problem from just drinking a few drinks a few times a week. I’ve never had any problem or felt bad for it except that recently it’s been getting a lot harder to recover. I don’t believe it’s a disease and if it is, it’s the only disease that you can buy at the store.

Brandon, that’s my problem exactly, I can’t stand the hours of tossing and turning, then when you do fall asleep…nightmares. I am sure it will pass after a while. It’s even harder to go to school full time and work 44h/week feeling run down. Then trying to get into an exercise regiment! Seems like you can’t win trying to become healthy again! It’s so incredibly frustrating and depressing!

I agree with you Steve, if it’s a disease, it’s the only disease you can buy at the store. I will remember that line.

Well, I totally agree with Steve about driving better intoxicated than most people sober. Anyhow, I’m 27, and started drinking when I was 20 with rum n coke type stuff on occassion at my friends houses. At 21 I transfered from my junior college (my sis. is 8 yrs older than me and developed an eating disorder when she left hs at college n as such I had been punished by not being allowed to go straight to a 4 yr out of hs) I moved to a new city not knowning a soul to do my upper division. Then I started running with a fast crowd and was introduced to Thursday night partying because most people didn’t have class on Fri. (drinking was always a weekend thing before this). The next semester I arranged my sched. so my weekend started Weds night w/classes on M/W, & Tues night & Weds evening. After another yr of this, then I became distant with my group of friends because I started working and became isolated. After stupid BS with one chick, I hit Southern Comfort n coke everyday for a solid month. I’d wake up, go to work, skip class then drink n do it all over again.

It was at this time I was just fed up with the city. I wasn’t going to class, and felt like I didn’t have any real friends. A couple of my friends had just got out of the army and I felt like I needed to reconnect. Me and them would go to my deceased uncles cantina where I’d meet a couple of the finest bartenders you’d ever see…Morgan n Monica. I went from going there weekends at night, to right after work for happy hour, getting hooked up with free drinks n some of my going out weekend friends getting jealous that I’d have a $3 tab at the end of the night.

Many bartenders have come n gone since then the past 3.5 yrs I’ve prob. had 15, but they are all the same type more or less. I also developed a hellva friendship with the older guys (40-50 age range) that go though , so they became my friends as my hs buddies have gotten married, knocked up, divorced n what have you. I’ve never been a relationship guy, because if I can only commit to one, ayyy…why settle for 95% of what you are looking for…there’s always another woman around the corner.

But anyhow…alcohol has never really affected me since I was like 20. I’d regularly down 2-3 pitchers of Ultra a night, before that Adios Mother F*. So I got the point of “what’s the point,” n got tired of doing the same ol same. The main problem I’ve had with drinking, was going to sleep afterwards n not being productive. I gained like 25lbs, and if I had just worked out instead of going to sleep I’d have been fine. Quiting for me actually has been pretty easy. I quit in mid Feb. to focus on training the Aussie dog I got after the new year. My cousin has called me up to go “clubbing” and I’ve gone along but have started drinking O’Douls, and absolutely love it. I don’t feel like an “idiot” who doesn’t have anything in his hand, and afterwards if I want to read a book or gamble on Full Tilt I can without it affecting my game. So now instead of going out 5-6 days a week, I’ve become a homebody, by going out only 2x Weds, n either Fri or Sat to watch a game…but that’s all I allow myself. I originally was quitting till the NFL draft, but I like how I feel now, I’ve dropped 10 lbs in 3 weeks without trying (I’m now 5′11 195, and getting back to my old muscular 185 self). I’m just amazed that I never got a DUI, and thankful I didn’t have that 10k debt to deal with that I prob. easily could have gotten numerious times for being over the limit. Drink O’Douls, its actually better than 50% of the beer out there.

Hi everyone, glad to find this site.
I’m sitting here with my glass of wine in hand, at the crossroads.I am in our garage, where i sleep, as my wife of 37 years has had enough and will not have me in the house again.I do not blame her everything she says about me is true.
My father was an alcoholic, when he was sober he was my best friend , when he had been drinking, his fists spoke for him, my mother left, without a word when i was 10, i never heard from her again.
I know its lame to blame the past, but there is an anxiety that lives in me that seems can only be quietened by drinking.
It is not that i have not tried, i have read many books and tried many approaches to self esteem and sobriety.
I do not have a problem with friends wanting me to drink with them, my only friend is the bottle, for i prefer to drink alone.
I saw a doco on Anthony Hopkins once,he spoke of his drinking as approaching god,of speaking to the sea and trees and stars and having them talk back to you. This is where i am. How can I come back from the edge?
I have emptied my wine down the sink in the morning and bought more in the afternoon so many times.
I prayed to a god that was not there,
or had no ears or did not care.

Wow, I just sorta’ stumbled onto this site while Google searching for giving up alcohol for weight loss. Trust me, weight loss is not the only reason I need to give up the booze. Besides so much wasted time and money being spent on this addiction, I’ve fractured two very important relationships in my life thru my drinking - my Mother and I have been totally estranged for 5-1/2 yrs. and now my 14 yr. old daughter and I have become increasingly estranged as well. They both don’t “approve” of my alcohol consumption. Funny, my Mother never “approved” of anything I’d done. I drink at that and my feelings of inadequacy and social awkwardness almost every day now. I am 39 and have been caught up in this addiction for the better part of ten years.

Hi everyone, here i am drunk again.
Hi Cali, the disapproval hurts but provokes resentment and defiance and more drinking. I know this one, I married a woman just like my father, sounds strange but there it is, she disapproves of my every breath. The one that rely gets me is the look in my children’s eyes, they love me, I have been a soft and loving dad, determined not to copy my own father, they are torn between there mothers view and there love for me. It is like a dagger in my heart, sometimes i wish it were steel.
So what are we going to do? anyone out there reading this who is on the same road, I am just a little further down the road than you, get off, get off now, any way you can. We are being swept towards the waterfall, save yourself.

Hi I am 49 yrs , alcohol has always been a part of my life. My Mother was a alcoholic using it for serve depresstion. She past away at the age of 46 I was 21. My younger brother also drug and alcoholic past away 4 yrs ago age 42 he went from having a succesful job for 18yrs to being homeless. I have tried quiting several times and have gone weeks without it only to fall back into the bad habit. I drink alone untill I fall asleep without dreams. No drinking no sleeping. I am now on my third week of not drinking and I am still looking for the strenght to continue. Sometimes I think that the quilt I have of my brother not suceeding to quit and having a better life holds me back. I question why should I have a 2nd chance when he didn’t get one , there is an anxiety that lives in me that seems can only be quietened by drinking.

Huh. I’ve never heard of a “McPilgrimage” before. If anything, me and my friends have the inverse relationship: those of us who drink more, wake up and eat health food and run marathons. Those who don’t drink, tend to eat more junk food.

That’s not to say such a relationship doesn’t exist (in general), but it seems weird to me, and it certainly isn’t a necessary reaction to alcohol.

‘It’s easy to give up alcohol’

I think this statement is disproportional representation. It’s probably easy if you drink as little as the author. I have been drinking 80 - 100 units a week for nearly ten years and its hard giving up, I’ve been 6 days now and the withdrawal symptoms are not eleviating.

Think

Amazing how many folks are trapped by this addiction. I come from a long line of alcoholics, so I would assume that the past isn’t helping my addiction either. If you are an alcoholic it’s amazing to look at professionals who only go out one night a week and enjoy 2-3 drinks and then go about their daily rountines/weeks thereafter. They make it look so easy! But as most here have alluded to, it just makes it worse but you want more-more-more. I am now 31 and have realized that alcohol has really started too take over my life. I spend way too much on booze, go to the bar more (and will only eat out at places that serve alocohol), and quit going to the gym. I need to find new hobbies or activities that will replace my drinking so that I can feel relaxed. I wish the best to all here who are suffering thorugh this terrible addiction and remember that all things are possible through God. You will all be in my prayers and I ask the same of you.

I quit 10 days ago from a frequent binge drinking period of about 7 months. Before this I was sober for a year..

I gotta say and nobody seems to mention this( perhaps due to how much I was drinking) but after every night out I was sitting in the parking lot of the local hospital building the courage to go into the ER. My last hangover was a living hell. I don’t know if it was the dts or not but 2 days later I was seeing spiders crawling around..anxiety was driving me mad, ativan seemed to make it worse, tongue swollen, head pressure.. irregular heart beats, hyperventalation and the list goes on..”maybe it’s time to die, I can except that” so i said at one point.

glad I am over that,,anxiety and breathing still a little off. But everyday is getting better.

fuck alcohol :)

fuck drugs too.

good luck all

Hi everyone, here i am drunk again.
God bless all who manage to escape this curse.
I was free for a week, than drank a months worth in a week, than free for a week, now back in the madness.
Cant remember what i did, what i said, seeing things that are not there, talking to people who live only in my head.
All those smart asses who say that ” if you really wont to you could give it up” let them walk in my shoes for a while and see how they do.
God bless all of you who share my fate, the angles in heaven hold there breath in anticipation, every time one of us breaks free it makes it easier for the rest of us to do the same.

I love you all

FUCK ALCOHOL

FUCK DRUGS

John

[…] How to Quit Drinking Alcohol: 30sleeps.com (tags: tips productivity GTD change habits) […]

man im getting my license bak on tuesday , i dont ever want to drink again its ruined my life for a year i wasnt able to drive or go to school, i just fear it happening again i dont know why, can someone help me

Brad,

This is a brilliant post giving some clearly laid down reasons for giving up alcohol and some great steps on how to actually do this.

I am similar because I found I was drinking too much alcohol on social occasions and ending up losing a lot of the next day. It got to me questioning why I was actually drinking. When I threw up on a bus and had some other unfortuntate experiences, I realised enough was enough.

So, one day I decided to stop and I have never looked back. I go out more now than I used to but not drinking is never an issue. I love the feeling of going out and being crystal clear plus having the whole of the next day free for me!

I have now created a course to help others do the same. I interviewed several therapists who regularly treat people who have alcohol problems and these involve concepts from both traditional and modern approches to overcoming alcohol problems without sacrificing your social life.

Please visit the site here:
http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/

I also have a blog on the site which will hopefully be of a lot of benefit to people too.

http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/

Thanks,

Rahul

just to say, I’m 5 days in and feeling crappy!

I dont know if this will help anyone, but 2 of my mates (who are not alcoholics, but enjoy a social drink a couple of times a week) are staying off with me, i realise that it is easy for them, but its really helping me so far, knowing that i can have a sober evening (or day) wwith them and they wont get the wine out.

keep going everyone who’s quitting
best of luck and all my good wishes
Jo
xx

Dear All

I’m 36 and have been drinking for 10 years+ now. Knocked spirits on the head a few years ago. But have been sliping fuurther and further into the abyss - started keeping it within recommended limits a week, with a couple of days off - and for some years since then half a bottle red wine a night 2/3/4 times a week… creeping up recently to a drink most days and nearly a bottle sometimes.

Managed to keep it quiet most of the time - hiding booze, or kidding myself that it was OK to have a bottle open whilst cooking dinner…

I’m a slim female and guess I just can’t take that level. My skin looks awful, I’ve been tired and feeling useless. The I started arguing with good friends after a boozing. Next thing I knew -and I’ve no idea of there is ny connection- but I had something called ‘Erythema Multiforme’ come up all over my hands and feet.(It’s a horrid rash of lesions shaped like targets) Doctors don’t understand much about what causes it in many cases, but it’s possible lack of healthy eating and too much booze has run me down. The Erythema went but it panicked me. I have been destroying my body and mind.

The thing that I am holding in my mind - I have two sons and I want to be alive with them.

My eldest son - who’s 15 -recently said ‘mum, you drink way too much - you’re going to die a really awful death’ - he was really, really worried. I can’t do that to them. When I think back to all the events that are a blur - I’ve lost memories of times with them. What he said really shook me up.

Now on day 10 dry. Been through the headaches, nausea, shaking. Just had liver function tests that came back clear, thankfully - got the results yesterday.

I gathered the courage to turn up at my doctor’s surgery. He made a note so that whatever I go there for it could be mentioned to me (in case I start heavily again and am too ashamed to say this to him)

Doc said it’s inevitable that I would have done some damage to my body but to catch it now I could reverse it. He offered Diazapan but I turned it down -I want to do this without a ‘crutch’to lean on.

When I think about it, it’s a culture -professional friends with children who all meet at each others’ homes - and share vast quantities of booze. It’s gonna be hard to keep out of this. Our lives were revolving around booze -how sad to let it take control.

I’m glad I saw this site -and the suggestion of 30 days probation. What I would like is the willpower to be sensible - stay off for the 30 days - then be able to completely STOP all drinking at home alone, and restrict drinks with friends to max three glasses of wine , maybe once a week. That would almost feel like more willpower than if I just ‘ban’ myself completely.
But who knows if I will be able to control it.

So - find something you want to live for and hold that in your mind. It’s my children for me. And walk in the park or the woods -sober -spend time with loved ones and create those memories that will stay with you forever.

Good luck to everyone

J

I can drink or not drink, I’m not dependent on alcohol. I enjoy drinking and have no problem drinking a beer or two with dinner, for example.

The problem is when I “go out” I don’t stop drinking. Every time I go to the bar or club or a party, I get completely inebriated and then spend the next day wondering and worrying about how I embarrassed myself the night before (I drink so much I black out, so I never remember).

That sucks. It’s not easy to admit but I have slowly come to terms with the fact that every serious regret and most of the awkwardness in my life over the last five or more years is a direct result of alcohol abuse. On the flipside, I realize that without alcohol, I’m a decent person.

I’m giving it 30 days with no alcohol. Since I can enjoy it responsibly in some situations, after my 30 days are up I’m going to limit my drinking to those situations - I actually think this will be harder than just not drinking at all. Drinking is a popular pastime in my family as well, which will make get-togethers tough.

Be honest with yourself about your drinking, even if you’re not strictly an “alcoholic” in the traditional mold. There are all sorts of ways in which alcohol can screw up your life.

Good luck, save your booze money and buy yourself something nice or donate it to a charity or something.

Thank you all for your collection of stories, ideas, and suggestions. I’m not sure my comment and story can help anyone except to make known that you are not alone. I am 47 and have been drinking beer for 15 years. I started with one 32 oz beer per day. I would never keep anything in the house, but would go to the store every day and buy my bottle. Then it became a six pack. It really has been OK over a long period of time, but I noticed that over that time I began to stock up my ‘fridge and six wasn’t good enough anymore. I quite the homebody so that means I drink alone. Does any of you have the idea to call folks when they are drinking? You guessed it-so do I. Last week I did this and the next day I had to think really hard to remember if I had embarassed myself in any way. I do not recommend this. Any way now I’m up to 8 beers a day-every day. On the weekends I don’t even wait until a reasonable hour to start-so 9:30-10:00 A.M. away I go. This makes me finish early 2:00-3:00 P.M. and then theres nothing left to do (watch TV or DVD’s while drinking) I eat and then go to bed. I haven’t let my drinking interfere with my work, but I tell you Toby is one dull boy! I will want to finish my movie so as I’m watching 9,10,11. I did this the other night and I started to feel sick and started to sweat. I had wondered before, but this is when I thought I have a problem. I tried to go the next day without but couldn’t. I’m the type of guy who needs to think a matter (especially like this) though very carefully before taking action, which is why I have reading this sight. I am finding that my drinking habit is progressive, that I am a functioning habitual drinker, perhaps an alcoholic, but I am tired of sitting in that chair watching my movie, sipping my suds and waiting to die. I have thought of many neat incentives to quit; losing weight, saving money, living life instead of watching it pass me by, health. Many of the same things that you all brought to this forum. I will continue to surf the blogesphere, but at some point will have to take action-I hope very soon.

T

Toby Won, you are describing just the begining of where it goes. i relate to everything you described except i have taken drinking even further and for longer. i’m looking at this site for the same reason and i still haven’t quit drinking for very long. so i guess i’m just typing here in vane, but letting know there really is an epidemic here.

Hi all,
Thanks for sharing your personal stories about your relationship with alcohol. I too am concerned about my drinking. My drinking buddy (husband) lives with me and together we talk about quitting and how it will help lose weight and save money, but it’s all blah blah because one of us is always weak. I am determined that it will not be me this time.
I know for me understanding what’s happening helps me cope better so for those who find they are drinking more and not sleeping when abstaining here is what I have read.
Tolerance to alcohol builds when you are a habitual drinker so you need more alcohol to have the same effect. For me, a 60kg female, 4 large glasses of wine leaves me feeling quite normal. Until your liver is eventually damaged by alcohol (or other) those who develop tolerance can remove alcohol from their bodies faster. Also brain chemicals are increased to cope with the alcohol’s depressive action on the brain’s cells. It is this increase in brain chemicals from habitual alcohol that makes it hard to sleep when you stop because they are used to having to work harder to just function normally.
We had agreed to stay sobre until Friday, but I gather from what I have read here that it is only enough time to suffer withdrawals and not gain much benefit.
Good luck to you all.

Hi all,

Well, today is my 31st birthday and time for a reality check.

My finance and I went out for my b-day dinner on Saturday night - and like many times before - I get to a certain point where I just snap. He becomes my verbal punching bag and I just let him have it. For hours and hours too. And I can tell you, the things I said are devastating and it just breaks his heart. Then, I woke up on Sunday morning and asked him not to be concerned about it…. I have no problem with us/you/the relationship… it’s just the alcohol talking. Don’t worry about it.

And the worst thing, he had an amazing day planned for my birthday but I was too hungover and he was too heartbroken to go.

How the hell does this happen? When do you wake up on day and say I have a problem now. And how the hell did I get here? I remember asking about 5-6 years ago can someone become an acholic by accident? Because I don’t feel there is anything that led me to drink. Just an excessive social lifestyle. And now I can’t get by without it. Even one glass of wine – doesn’t always have to be a bottle (which I do easily, and don’t even get drunk).

Wow. Wake up on your 31st birthday and realise you’re an alcoholic. What a sobering thought.

I never thought I’d ever have trouble with drinking, but lo and behold, I find myself typing this comment and confessing that my drinking is a problem. The bottle seduced me to believe it was a good friend .. and it would always be there anytime I was feeling stressed, or down, or lonely. Needless to say, I bought the toxic lie and am now trying to regain control over what I ingest into my body. I’ve only been sober a few short days now and want to keep it that way. I like me and frankly, drinking robs me of my nice personality. I like the above post it’s good advice for us all.

Kristina :-)

After years of drinking since I was 17, abusing alcohol, having so many black outs, waking up with girls I didnt know, shattering the trust of the only girl I ever loved and left me. I nearly drank myself to death a few times after I felt tremendous loss. However I knew I had to change, I read and read, educated myself in areas I needed to improve on, and one book leads to another, better than one DRINK leads to ANOTHER, right? I then put myself through so much, I figured if I put myself through such times of sickness, hangovers, shame, guilt, damaging my relationships, then I can put myself through the times of going out and feeling the anxiety of not having drink to depend on. Trust me, the more you repeat it and stay disciplined, the more you start to change and the longer you do this, the less inclined you will want to let yourself down. There will be many tests, people projecting there guilt onto you by attempting to make you feel inferior and inadequate. But if you educated yourself well enough, you will already by prepared for this, and you will feel an inner strength that feels like no one will be able to get to you and break you down, now you know you are transforming from insecure to SECURE. Ok, watch them manipulate themselves to having more drink, deluding themselves with all the sayings that have gone before them. Remember the only reason that they drink alcohol is TO CHANGE THE WAY THEY FEEL ! otherwise if they were thirsty, they would drink water, but they drink because of their own low moods, their own unexpressed feelings, and that is why they project. It would be easy for me to say… I only live once, why not? but at least I know how my mornings are going to feel… I wake up and think of those friends who were trying to make me feel inadequate, and wait for their phone calls, all trying to find out what went off last night? and hear them going through the torture of guilt, guilt that comes from not remembering what they are guilty about, and that is their PAIN now.

by the way, I also paid of my mortgages fully, I have 3 houses now fully paid and at the age off 33, it gives great pleasure to live mortgage free, and drink free at the same time, now that feels good, better than any drink can do, at least I feel a natural high, it is cheaper, healthier and easier, and I can drive home with this natural high too. My philosiphy is, that the only reason people drink is to CHANGE THE WAY THEY FEEL…. why else?

Hi guys,
I’m 37 and have been a drinker since I was 18, from a family of big drinkers.
I was fine until January last year having just got married a few weeks before, when I exploded at my new wife for something petty after about 4 wines. Not physically but very verbally.
We put it behind us until I did the same in October and she told me I had to do something about my problem. We both let it go yet again but four weeks ago I let loose again only this time I pinned her up against a wall in the kitchen. She told me it was seek help or she would leave and take our 4 month old daughter too. I went to sessions with her for advice and decided to try limiting to two drinks a day with two free days a week but I have just been cheating the system all along as all idiots like me do. Two nights ago I lost my temper yet again. I didn’t do anything but shout however we have a session tomorrow when my wife tells me she is laying down the law, it’s quit totally or she is gone.
I don’t want to lose her so I have no choice, and I know that, and understand that, but I am being honest when I say that the thought of giving up totally depresses me as I love a glass of red with a steak etc. and I keep thinking that knowing me i will end up sneaking a few when she is away and I when I know I won’t get caught etc. I’d like to turn to you all for support because my friends are drinkers. How will I stop cheating when no one is around to stop me ?

Hi Mitch, from hearing your comments, It appears that are blaming the drink for your beheaviours? My advice after giving up for 2 years is get to the root causes of your problems, and not to blame drink for the behaviour, the drink will bring them out because that is simply what it allows you to do. Once you start working on yourself, see what you are angry about, maybe there was some domestic violence in your family? a rejection you once suffered? abondonment? and see if you have not fully greived these through the process of denial. You are allowed to grive things in the past, talk about them with your wife, she will be most glad to help, and dont worry about her getting power over you or seeing you as weak, Women are great at this, and it could be just what you need to do. Once you do this (and yes it will take some time) you will see that you dont need to be afraid to share your feelings, it will improve the R-ship, and you will be healing yourself of possible traumas experienced in the past. Once you get underway with this, you will find that the drinking wont be the untimate problem and you may even have a wine with your stake, with a woman who you can trust and love more. Work on yourself, be kinder to yourself, do this bit of work, you will find you will bloom with good nature again.

Hi Mark,
I’m going to explore this, thanks.
I will get back to you on here as maybe that’s the solution and I’m looking in the wrong place… maybe. I’ll talk to my wife, she is a good listener, and I am prepared to give up drinking whilst I explore this, as if it allows me a romantic night out with a glass of wine together in the future, then what a reward !
Thanks again, I will discuss it with her.

thats a good step Mitch, it is up to you if you want to give it up whilst exploring, maybe just concentrate on discovering why you have these outbursts could be more productive for growth, and again talk about them, dont be afraid of being judged, just talk it out, it will confuse you at first, but once you start, a new hour, a new day, will bring more thoughts and eventually you will begin to make sense of your feelings. Only by understanding them (with a clear mind, not drunken states) will you start to feel better. I found that keeping a private journal really helped, writing down your feelings and where in your life have you felt like this before, start thinking of any experiences in the past that felt the same way as you are doing now, that is a good indicater as to where you have not got over things in your past. That is the healing process, once you start to remember, you will be able to talk about them, and the anger, pain, etc, will weaken its hold on you, as you gain control through EMOTIONAL maturity.

What a smart, honest site. I too have battled the alcohol wars. I once stopped for ten years by going to AA—but got bored with the god stuff. Then started working as a travvel writer—and let me tell you it’s the best job in the world if you are an alcoholic. I’m stopping again this week–set a date–and cancelled a few travel writing trips. Alcohol is no joke when it comes to what it can do to you.

hi all , day one of ‘i am gona stop’ its totally psycological isnt it, feel the need to have a drink but i am not! boredom is the reason as i sit and do nothing , gona attend a kickboxing class tuesday and get a life, stop blaming everything but me and everyone else, my life my contro , everyone makes excuses and they hav to take control , i want to be hapy its gona be hard but life is

Everyone,

Further to my previous message, I have just completed a free report called ‘The Effects of Alcohol’

It is a guide explaining exactly what alcohol is doing to your body and mind both in the long and short terms. What it does to your brain, liver, kidneys and psychological state.

You will be pretty shocked when you learn just what kind of a poison alcohol actually is! If I had known this information earlier I might have even given up alcohol even earlier than I did but because of social proof - because everyone else does it, it has to be ok, it took me a lot longer to give up.

Please visit http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com and look at the top left hand column to get your free copy instantly.

Any questions please do e-mail me at info@alcoholfreesociallife.com

Rahul

Wow.. I am not sure what divine intervnetion brought me to this sight but reading Mitch’s comments was like looking in a mirror. It has been 3 days since I had a drink. The last one had me yelling at the woman I love for no good reason. I layed in bed that night and swore never to go there… again.

So I commited to myself and to her that I would take 30 days off from drinking and then decide what the rest of my life hold for me.

For the record, I am a wine drinker. Considered by many to be very knowledgeable on the topic. My “hobby” got out of hand. a glass or two per night became a bottle per night. An occasional glass of wine at luch became a daily ritual. Now it’s Screwdrivers in the morning. And no end in sight.

But if I am being honest, I think I have had this problem my whole life. Not that I drank too much regularly, but that far too often when I did I drank too much. And of course there is the simple fact that… I have only a handful of things I have done in my life that I truely regret. I mean life changing mistakes…and everyone was while I was drunk. If only I could undo some of those stupid things.

Can anyone tell me why a guy who is otherwise rational, calm and peaceful becomes angry and argumentative and irrational. If it happened everytime I could understand but it seems to be without a pattern. No rhyme or reason. Today I can drink way too much without issue. Tomorrow, the dark side might just appear. Why… I don’t know.

Mitch, I understand where you are and all I can say is just pour your self into the challenge of not drinking and never being abusive again. That is what I am going to do. Wish me luck. I do not want to hurt my wife again.

Hello to all,

I can relate to all of your comments..

but Mitch….

Hello Mitch, wow we could be twins. I do what u do, but I am very verbal about it. I drink and tell her off, accuse her of petty things and just make a total fool out of myself. It’s gotten worst in the past few months. I can’t drink, I don’t know how to drink. My partner often asks me WHY can’t I just have one drink”? and I do not have an answer. Lately I have been drinking everyday. last week I decided instead of sitting around here relaxing with a drink which often turns into 3 or 4 I might as well take my behind to the gym. This week I have not been able to make it back… I feel out of control sometimes. My father was an alcoholic he has been sober and is the president of his AA group for 9 yrs. My stepmom died of cirosis, I should be scared after seeing what she went through. In 2001 I experienced my first black out. Thankfully nothing happened but I started going to AA the next day. I made it to 60 days … I remember my oldest back then was 6 and she kept counting my days.. That summer was the best summer I have ever had. I remember thinking on July 4th of that summer ” this feels good”. I want that again. I am 32, I watch what I eat if only I watched what I drank I would be a lot better off. I have 4 beautiful kids and often I turn to a drink because of the stress of trying to keep a 7 yr relationship together, 4 kids and two are teens. I know exactly why I drink I guess now it’s just stopping. I love my red wine too but I really can’t just have one glass. I sneaked a shot after she went to bed last night. I want to be able to control it but I know first I need to stop. Maybe I don’t need to drink again. I want to be able to talk to someone without being judged but that is hard. I guess that is why I am here.

Tonight I will begin my 30 day. I will NOt have a drink. and maybe I should do what someone else suggested throw out my bottle of rum. My partner drinks but nowhere close to how I drink. She can have a shot and be done for the night. I don’t want to deprive her because I can’t handle it.

I will keep coming back to this site and posting … reading all of your comments I am sure will be helpful.

Thank You

Dee

P.S Devine intervention indeed Dodger….

to Brad Bollenbach In my bag I have the book A NEW EARTH..AMAZING to me to google “quitting drinking” coming to this site, reading all the comments and finding that i am so not alone and seeing the book as a suggestion for helping us with this issue. I also have the power of now. Can not wait to start this book and today Is the day.

kylie I can also feel what you go through. She tells me that i tell her all type of things and the worst thing is I DON’T EVER REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD HER… I feel so embarrased and ashamed.

exhale

today is the day

i didn’t just ’stumble’ on this site. I found it, probably because like many of you i’m looking for answers to my questions. And deep down, i probably already know the answer, at least for now.
Anyway, i sincerely applaud all your honesty and sincerity and wish all of you the best of luck and hope you find whatever it is you may be looking for.

Good Morning….

I got through day 1……..

after i wrote the above blog I called my father and mother. They were both happy for me and will support me 110%. My father wants me to attend AA, but I am not sure just yet… I have mixed feeelings about AA. We will see.

I noticed I did get irritated easier. I snapped a few times…

I kept myself busy with laundry….

I had a few moments of weakness where I said to myself ” one shot is okay, I will be okay with just one… but that was just out of habit… it became a habit to come home have a drink while i cooked dinner… I got rid of the bottles too…

exhale

one day at a time..

thank U

D

Jason good luck to you too….

smile

D

Dee, (and anyone else going through this)

Today is day 7…and of course I am still tempted to have a drink. After all it is friday. I have a regular Friday lunch with my sailing buddies ( by lunch I mean lunch and a couple bottle of wine which often turns into a party friday night) But I will not. I am committed to 30 day alcohol free. Honestly, the last few nights I din’t even think about having a drink ( well not much anyway) It is getting easier.

I quit smoking cigarettes 10 months ago in a similiar way… one day at a time. Haven’t had one since. The key to that and to this is making it a challenge. Are you strong ewnough to go 30 days, or does it have control of your life. Of course you are. In reality, you really only need to go through 1 day, then tomorrow is a new day a new challenge that I promise you will be easier than today.

I have accomplished more creatively this week than I have for years back. I have high energy, I dont take everything so serious and I even laugh at myself a bit. It feels great.

I wish I could have the best of both worlds, but that is a topic for discussion on day 31. For today, its the hardest 7 behind me and 23 more to go.

Dodger

By the way Mitch, I have an ex-wife and three kids. My drinking definately led to my loosing her. My three kids payed the price. Don’t let something like this ruin your daughters life. Divorce, while common today is no picnic for kids.

Anytime you decide you need a drink, go pick her up and hold her and imagine that you won’t see her again until every other weekend. And it that isn’t enough… try imagining her new daddy telling her bedtime stories while you live in an apartment over someones garage ( you wont have enough money after the court get ahold of you )

SO mitch, seriously. Is there really any decision to make here? Hell , you’d probably give up eating to save your daugter from this, wouln’t you?

OHHH Dodger thx for the post…

I was just on my way back from lunch myself which usually was lunch at our fav spot and about 2 glasses of wine 3 if I really wanted to indulge..

but I thought of how great I felt this am. I did not feel bloated or guilty and ofcourse with a headache….

Congrats on your 7 days… and your decision to stick with your 30 days…

my co workers said “this weekend will be a hard one for you”… I agreed…

I have a few soccer games to keep me busy and I will stay strongggggg…

Thx Dodge.. check back in when you have a chance..

I really am looking at this site as a support system… just reeading others stories and days of sobriety are very inspirational for me. I’ll check back later.

Everyone enjoy your evening. Happy memorial Day weekend…

Thank you

Dee
“determined chica in cali”

Ok…I just caught this thread and alot of what ya’ll say hits right at home. Drink wine everyday, usually 2-5 glasses a night. Just recently I’m starting to feel a little hungover, and its starting to feel different when I have that 1st glass. Like its hits me RIGHT away. It’s no longer the glass of wine when I’m ready to slow down. It’s now an entire evening event, till I slow down

Kudos to all trying this. Today will be my 1st of 30.

Stay strong Skye

Ok…now day 2! I’m actually maybe even excited about it! I had MANY thoughts about it yesterday, and played the “mind” games about drinking….only one, it’s not really that bad, everyone has a glass of wine, etc, etc, etc. Then a phone call from a friend, just wanting to have a beer. I didn’t but it made me start playing the games in my head. I woke up this morning, and thought, “you did it”! Its not that its necessary I drink, or can’t function without, it’s a habit that creeped up on me in time. I’m hoping to free myself from that.

All this optimism premature? Probably, but I’ll take it today, over the guilt I’ve been feeling most days lately.

Thx Dee, for saying stay strong…just reading that little blurb really helped, as strange as that sounds.

I wish us ALL luck, and will begin day 2 just a tad stronger, and see where it leads.

Day 4…

excited….optimistic too.. I too asked myself is this feeling premature…

Mine is too out of habit…

bored= drink
good time= drink
party= drink
bar b q= drink
relas= drink

thinking if I just replace the DRINK with something productive I will be just fine.
I figured.. All I know is that I feel good and do not want to drink because I won’t be able to control it. I keep thinking of how it made me feel and that keeps me sober. I ask myself why do you want to drink? and I have found my thoughts again…

felt good to actually be able to drive my son to blockbuster on a Friday night…

STAY STRONG!!

Hi Guys,
Mitch Here, back again.

Counselling went well. I said I would not drink when I knew I was coming home to my wife or at home when she was there. That was on 16th May. She went away that weekend and had half a bottle both nights of red wine after a couple of beers at the local bar. Ok, we agreed when she was away I could get a ‘reward’ so I did.

Since then I have mini cheated twice having two beers at my local bar and then reverting back to Cola so she wouldn’t be able to tell. Funnily enough I am too scared to have any more, as I don’t want to turn in to that monster when I have had three !

On the good side I haven’t drunk at home at all.
So this means my intake has dropped from about 45 a week to probably 4. This is less than the average person, which is great. I know I am heading in the right direction.

I am going to give you all an exercise to do which my counsellor gave me.
If you imagine your life from the age of 18 to now as a measuring tape, you have drunk maybe from 0 on the tape to 20 feet, that’s 20 years of drinking. Now imagine your 30 days off or whatever you are trying to do at the moment. That is a twelfth of a foot, one inch. Compare one inch to 20 feet… that’s why giving up isn’t easy, you have had 20 feet of practice being a brilliant drinker and in one inch you think it will all change ?

I know full stop that 2 drinks and I am Mitch, 3 and I am a monster with my wife ( no one else I might add, but remember you hurt the ones you love the most ) So for me, I take heart from the fact that my intake has dropped to 4 a week which is fine. Of course I know I have cheated twice but I am at the start of a long roasd towards that 20 feet mark.

I know it sounds silly but for me what is working is knowing that if I stay sober, I know she is away maybe once a month, so I will still get my reward !!!! Maybe in a few months i won’t need that thought anymore ???

Your thoughts everyone ? I am with you all and take heart from your words.

Oh and Dee, I am with you every step, I am willing you to win my friend. I KNOW it’s not easy, I still look at red wine with a loving expression, but I am starting to realise that my obsession with it is slowly beginning to fade.

I’ve been through all this before, 6 years ago. Now for the past year I have found myself drinking more and more and more. I never found the AA meetings helpful. I am however confused about everyone focusing on 30 days of not drinking - then go out and drink on day 31? Why bother? If you can get through 30 days, you should be able to go 31, 32,33…….

I want support to quit - not just stop. Maybe this forum isn’t for me.

Heidi,
Firstly Why are you drinking more and more ?
why do you drink ?
why can’t you stop do you think ?

We will support you all the way, but you need to give us something to work with first.

Hola Heidi…..

I came to this site and read all the blogs and felt right to post my days of sobriety along with my story….

I can’t speak for others so I won’t. For me.. starting with a goal of 30 days is good for me… I take it one day at a time…

I am not perfect! trust me..at 31 and 32 I plan on celebrating and staying sober…

I know that I love a glass of wine but I can not control the amount I have… and I don’t think i will ever figure it out..who know’s. For now staying sober and focusing on other more productive things is for me….

This site can be for you..for anyone that wants to stop, or is trying..or has..why not?

It feels so good to set a good example for my kids, to drive them places and be able to promote healthy lifestyle for them….

why would I want to mess that up…

smile

Dee

Mitch thank you for the posts.. they help a lot….

Sounds like your wife doesn’t mind when you drink it’s how much you drink and the person you become..

I am on the same boat…

I wish I could just have one glass
and enjoy it and keep it moving

but I can’t…

Stay Strong… and do what u can where you are with what you have..

we aren’t perfect human beings..

Dee

Today is day 6 for me…

I am feeling soooooooooooooo good…

I did want some wine yesterday but I think it was just out of boredom…

didn’t need it just felt like it…

I went shopping lol

came home and spoke to mom about my 6 days…

She said she has noticed a difference in my interaction with the kids… My relationship is also different. we didn’t argue one bit all week…

sweeetttt

let’s keep it going…. for you, fo rme… for our families…

Skye..we are still with you…

Hi Dee,
That’s great, that feeling I know so well, I could do with a wine right now…..
You know it’s a bit like losing a great friend. Imagine alcohol has been your best friedn for years and years, when they leave your life it’s like a loss, and as humans,i believe that we actually grieve it’s loss like a friend, so of course you think about it lots, that’s normal. Also you will grieve it, and miss it terribly, and that would be normal too if it was a real person. Like grief, the bad days slowly grow further apart as you ‘heal’ so you wanting some wine yesterday was a grieving day.
Day 6 though…. fantastic, very proud of you.
I was talking to my wife last night and I described her as ‘normal’ which is one glass or two with dinner, not even every day, more if the food deserved it ( not a cheese sandwich, pasta or steak you know ! ) then she goes out with the girls once every maybe 8 weeks, and probably has a couple too many. I told her that for me, I am trying to be ‘normal.’
That means two things to work on, my drinking and my anger issues. I understand that I have been bred and trained to drink from a big drinking family, and having had an abusive father ( not too bad, he got angry too, but I did get a few knocks which I have actually never done to anyone else ) so you see I was trained to drink, then to get arrogant and angry. I am learning from cutting down that you do crave it less and less, and if you understand that it was ‘normal’ back then to think about wine, especially at about 4pm as you were winding down from work, it is just as ‘normal’ to recognise it when it happens, and to do something else, hell yes go shopping if it works !!!
You didn’t argue all week, so already it’s better… maybe now is the time as you find the drink free life easier by the day, to find out why you got angry…. was it like me, that you saw your father dominate your mother verbally, so you did the same ? If so then like me, just decide to step out from the shadows and realise that you don’t NEED to ‘dominate’ or ‘control’ your wife ( I just wanted her to shut up and stop having a go at me or agree with me, whatever it was )… she will actually cut you more slack and be more inclined to meet you halfway about stuff. When you are sober you are generally not raising your voice you won’t get half as wound up if she tells you you’re an idiot for having a certain opinion !!!
Good luck, keep talking, and keep up the great work, it is also encouraging me to win !!

Hi Dee,
That’s great, that feeling I know so well, I could do with a wine right now…..
You know it’s a bit like losing a great friend. Imagine alcohol has been your best friend for years and years, when they leave your life it’s like a loss, and as humans,i believe that we actually grieve it’s loss like a friend, so of course you think about it lots, that’s normal. Also you will grieve it, and miss it terribly, and that would be normal too if it was a real person. Like grief, the bad days slowly grow further apart as you ‘heal’ so you wanting some wine yesterday was a grieving day.
Day 6 though…. fantastic, very proud of you.
I was talking to my wife last night and I described her as ‘normal’ which is one glass or two with dinner, not even every day, more if the food deserved it ( not a cheese sandwich, pasta or steak you know ! ) then she goes out with the girls once every maybe 8 weeks, and probably has a couple too many. I told her that for me, I am trying to be ‘normal.’
That means two things to work on, my drinking and my anger issues. I understand that I have been bred and trained to drink from a big drinking family, and having had an abusive father ( not too bad, he got angry too, but I did get a few knocks which I have actually never done to anyone else ) so you see I was trained to drink, then to get arrogant and angry. I am learning from cutting down that you do crave it less and less, and if you understand that it was ‘normal’ back then to think about wine, especially at about 4pm as you were winding down from work, it is just as ‘normal’ to recognise it when it happens, and to do something else, hell yes go shopping if it works !!!
You didn’t argue all week, so already it’s better… maybe now is the time as you find the drink free life easier by the day, to find out why you got angry…. was it like me, that you saw your father dominate your mother verbally, so you did the same ? If so then like me, just decide to step out from the shadows and realise that you don’t NEED to ‘dominate’ or ‘control’ your wife ( I just wanted her to shut up and stop having a go at me or agree with me, whatever it was )… she will actually cut you more slack and be more inclined to meet you halfway about stuff. When you are sober you are generally not raising your voice you won’t get half as wound up if she tells you you’re an idiot for having a certain opinion !!!
Good luck, keep talking, and keep up the great work, it is also encouraging me to win !!

Wow Mitch I never thought of the fact that I did see my father verbally abuse my mother everytime he drank. It was a parade started from the beginning of the drive way all the way to our apartment.

I got angry at her for not being able to relax, enjoy herself…. She is like military aorund here..I have two teens.. great kids but somtimes they act like teens. I drank to relax, sometimes to get away from the stress of the household…maybe even from our own problems that we have….I have battled bulimia off and on for a few yrs and sometimes drinking made me feel in control… weird…

I am looking forward to being the best woman I can be….

well.. a glass of wine sounds soo good right now

:)

Dee