There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
– Terry Pratchett
My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. It’s for this reason that I can’t remember my grandpa’s funeral: I was only four. This is also why my grandma has meticulously avoided alcohol for over 20 years. If there’s anything to the rumours about alcoholism being influenced by heredity, I’m probably tagged.
My own consumption patterns change. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of several months having three or four drinks, three to five times a week. Sometimes I’ll restrict my consumption to social occasions. For about five months starting last December, in my quest to master the art of talking to strangers, my social life became two full-time jobs. I was constantly going out to social events, clubs, bars, museum parties, and everything in between. Despite temptation, I rarely drank.
Last month, I quit drinking alcohol again. I’d like to tell you that it was a struggle. I’d like to pretend that it’s almost impossible to stay sober at a social occasion where everyone else is burping bubbles. I’d like to imagine myself as more determined and disciplined than all the rest, and that’s what pulled me through.
But the truth is that I’m ruthlessly normal. And if you want to end your relationship with alcohol, right here, right now, It’s Not That Hard.
I’m guessing that most people who choose to quit drinking are not alcoholics. My intent is to offer here an action plan that anyone can apply, whether you’re nursing an addiction or just want to enjoy the benefits of uninterrupted sobriety.
Why Stop Drinking?
The long-term effects of bad habits are rarely sufficient to motivate people to change their lives. The near-term benefits of giving up alcohol are much more useful and interesting anyway. Here are the changes I experienced:
- Productive socializing. Talking to strangers is a great way to build character, but its benefits are greatly reduced when you’re drunk. The alcohol represses much of the social anxiety, which inhibits lasting change. But the only thing more terrifyingly fun than getting drunk and meeting a bunch of new people is staying sober and meeting a bunch of new people.
- Avoid the McPilgrimage. Clearly, there’s a conspiracy between the fast food industry and the liquor industry. Free will collapses under the weight of insobriety and convenience. With enough alcohol in your system, even the most wretched burger joint becomes an irresistible sanctuary.
- Reclaim lost time. Let’s say you have a few drinks around the house, three times a week, and that light touch of drunkenness costs you three hours of productive thinking each time. Within one year, you’ll have shaved about one full month off your life. That’s a lot of lost CPU time that could have been put towards reading a book, writing a speech, playing a sport, or even starting a business. And this doesn’t even count the time lost waiting for your brain to resolidify the morning after a night on the town.
- Get rich quickly. You don’t have to party that hard to spend $100-$150/week or more on alcohol and related expenses. If you quit drinking today, you could reasonably expect to convert that choice into a bankroll for backpacking around the world in about six months.
- Become an early riser. I’m currently readjusting my sleep schedule to wake up at 5:30 AM, seven days a week. Alcohol, and the lifestyle that often accompanies it, work against this process. Alcohol makes me feel tired when I want to feel energetic and awake. Ironically, it also increases wakefulness during sleep.
You can probably think of other instantly gratifying benefits to life beyond the bottle. The important thing is to actually have a reason that is important enough to you.
Make It Priority Number One
Giving up alcohol is one of the easiest and hardest changes you can make in your life.
It’s easy once you’ve established the right rules, configured your environment to support you, and set up useful boundaries of pain and pleasure to help direct you towards your goal. The hard parts are the social implications and fighting off the One Man Army that is your ego, with its barrage of self-limiting beliefs and drink requests.
Giving up alcohol must be made priority number one in your life. A partial commitment is a commitment to failure. Even if you already don’t drink that often, it will be tempting to break your own rules when your friends call you up and invite you out. You’ve got to be willing to prioritize this decision in every situation where it’s relevant, even when that means Just Saying No to pub night.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Ever notice how some people act as though the end of their relationship is the end of the world? It’s as if there’s no point in living if they can’t be with that person any longer. Yet other people come along and date that person who left them, eventually break up with them, and see it as hardly more than a blip on the radar.
You may feel that it’s pretty easy to give up drinking. Or you may feel that it’s an addiction with a stranglehold on your life. Either way, there is no inherent magnitude to this task. It’s as big or as small as you make it.
No matter how much you want to tell yourself how hard it is, nobody’s ever going to claim that learned helplessness was the secret to their success. The most effective way forward is to not only make quitting drinking a top priority, but to think, talk, and act like it can be done.
Become the Impartial Spectator
Whether you view it as a spiritual separation, or merely conceptual, we all have more than one self. There’s the “Mmmmm…beeeer…” self, and the impartial spectator that can detach from and observe this desire.
Let the latter voice be your authority. You’re allowed to want a drink as much as you’re allowed to choose not to have one. There’s tremendous power in observing your thoughts as a third party. The impartial spectator can feel the heat without getting burned.
When in doubt, let it be there. No matter how bad the storm seems, it will pass.
Commit to 30 Days
If you’ve never done it before, it can be hard to think of giving up drinking forever. It’s discouraging to commit to permanent change, only to back out a few days or weeks into it. Some people will face social friction and lifestyle changes for which they’re unprepared.
But life is a laboratory. It’s an adventure that takes shape through hypothesis and experimentation, and most decisions can be reverted. When it comes to making big changes like this, live before you leap. Promise yourself that you will commit to this 100%, but only for 30 days, and see how it goes.
This is exactly what I did last month. I promised myself that November would be alcohol-free, and it was. Truth be told, I had a few drinks on day 31. But I broke the negative pattern that was creeping up on me and gained back the energy to spend on more important activities. And I’ve repeatedly proven to myself that I can give up alcohol whenever I feel like, whenever it seems like the right thing to do.
Dump Your Existing Stash
Any goal that’s important to you is important enough to start on right now. My 30-day challenge to give up alcohol started at about 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had just gotten back from a post-nightclub McPilgrimage with some friends. I had a great time. I met lots of people. I even ended up dating a girl I met that night.
But I was really annoyed by how much I’d poured into me that night, at succumbing to the resulting Big Mac temptation, and at how much I was going to regret the hangover. As soon as I got home, the challenge was on. I had one last beer in my fridge, which I ceremoniously poured down the kitchen sink.
If you’re serious about doing this, get rid of your alcohol. If you’ve got $300 worth of spirits in your cabinet and you’re not yet sure if you want to empty it all down the drain, only to change your mind in 30 days, then store it at a friend’s place during your probation period. Preferably a friend that doesn’t drink.
Advertise Your Decision
I told most of my friends about what I was doing. Not only only does this add accountability to your goal, it also drops the hint that if your friends are planning on going out and getting wasted, you’re probably not interested.
Of course, you don’t have to avoid social situations where you’ll be the only one not drinking. I’ve gone out stone sober many times–even on my own–and met loads of people. Once you get used to social skydiving, you no longer need alcohol’s permission to talk to strangers and have a good time. You can get to that place by either getting hammered out of your face, or by learning to just not care what other people think. Frankly, the latter is way more fun.
Fire Your Drinking Buddies
Alcohol may be so tightly integrated into your social life that it seems almost impossible to go an entire weekend without drinking. If the only thing you have in common with your friends is that you like the same lagers, you might want to consider finding new friends.
I’ve let go of people in my social circle before and I know it’s not easy–but that doesn’t make it unnecessary. This might be the hardest thing you do in choosing a life without alcohol. The key is to remember that friends are an abundant resource. Having a strong social circle is purely a function of the effort you invest into it. That includes choosing to associate only with people who are aligned with your purpose, while avoiding the energy vampires.
This is another benefit of a 30-day commitment. Instead of permanently downsizing your social life, you can choose to be busy only for the next few weeks. Observe how it affects you when you stop spending time with your beer buddies. Join a local user group for something you’re interested in to bring yourself into contact with people with whom you share more than just a bar tab.
Bribe Yourself
I haven’t used this specific technique for giving up alcohol, but I have used it with much success in bulldozing my way through a wall of social anxiety.
Associate massive pain to backing out. To create that pain, visit your nearest bank machine. Withdraw an amount of money that you’d feel uncomfortable losing. Give it to a friend you trust. Tell them that you get your money back if, and only if, you don’t have a drop of alcohol until your 30 days are up. You’ll be surprised at how even the most difficult tasks become doable when you associate massive pain to breaking your own rules. Money can be a great way to make it hurt. If you can think of an even better form of self-bribery, go for it.
The stronger you feel that alcohol is a part of your life, the more of these techniques you may want to apply. My most recent alcohol-free challenge didn’t require bribery or letting go of any friends. But I did find it extremely useful to limit the challenge to 30 days, to give myself permission to live the lifestyle before leaping to a permanent decision.
I also think that making this a top priority is key, no matter what your current consumption habits. It’s so easy to let yourself slip for just one night, and then feel guilty about breaching your own contract later on.
Welcome all new arrivals. Carol just posted some excellent advice. Follow the elders and you will succeed.
Carol,
Many tears right now, sand from the island must have been blowing around when I came on shore. Thanks for your words of wisdom. I have three dogs, and I am taking them for a walk. I couldn’t agree with you more about the seductive power of wine. I will wipe the tears go for a walk and hold on strong.
McKinley
Thanks Richard.
Mckinley
Richard- we’re in complete agreement then.
sorry for my crabbiness.
Islanders, or not, we’re all here to help “you” (everyone) on your journey. Your journey isn’t just about 30 days. For many it is about getting to start the 30 days. For others, it’s about continuously doing 30 days, some don’t even count, others keep wiping out, most are hoping it’s forever.
Don’t feel bad if you feel banished from the fantasy side of the island because of your losses. We are all really here for everyone who is struggling to get, or keep, a hold of their lives. I’ve been on and off the so called island myself many times this year, I guess my name is appropriate as I’m not always on the island or the mainland, but am often floundering in the water. I need your help to get traction and am offering the same to each of you.
I agree, Carol and PDQ, re the sober tired, although I’m especially tired today. I had 4 ½ hours of sleep two nights ago and only 4 hours last night. Long story but I have had a mountain of work to do in the past four days. Well, this morning, dragging myself out of bed at 6:30 I thought, “Wow, how did I function when I was hung over?” I mean, I was foggy today but still getting a lot done, still functioning, still social. It really makes me aware of how limiting booze is.
Thanks for your words, Ivy. Hey, you’ve done well. One day off but you’re back on it. I’m proud of you!!
Martha, I am walking lots now, can’t run because of knee and weight issues. I agree, sleep sure comes. This tired feeling is enhanced because of heavy work time and also bouncing back from a flu. Help keep me motivated, okay? Thanks for your advice, I will keep up the physical development.
Good Advice for Mckinley, Carol. Good for me too. Thanks, and welcome aboard Mckinley.
Tomorrow is Canada Day for us Canucks. I’m going to light a ton of fireworks. I’m dedicating them to you, all of you. Thanks friends,
RR
good for you Mckinley and the dogs – there is nothing better than walking our best buddies who give us unconditional love even during those times we were not using good judgment – my dogs and I put in many miles also
Island News
the rain today gave lush tropical growth and glistening to the beautiful Island greenery and the many arbors we have constructed for our quiet times of meditation and quiet small group conversation are always refreshed by the rain – I am always energised by rain
the days and evenings that are moving along are bringing pain, sorrow as well as joy and quiet accomplishment to those of us who keep the beast at bay (the beast or demon is alcohol) the beast will do anything to seductively trick us into a slip – I think that is what happened to Don recently – he was in the muck before he even knew it – keep an alert watch everyone and call for help when you need to
Lighthouse thank you for getting the lights – I am tired – very tired – STAY – I believe for me in One Drink Away From Being Sober – sweet dreams all – love, carol, xoxoxo
I’ m so sorry I forgot to mention that I went to the mainland for my last huraah. Please don’t be mad at me. I’ll be back first thing in the morning and I promise not to be a bummer or feel sorry for myself. I made a decision.
HELLO NEWBIES!! McKINLEY, HEIDI, NOTHING CLEVER & NEWMAN! (Hope I didn’t miss any Newbie names! There was a lot to read in the last few pages…?!)
Welcome to the Blog/Island/30zzz/Site/Etc.!! There is something here for everyone and all newcomers are welcome…because we are the of the sum of our parts this community strives and survives on love, support, honesty and compassion so get ready to be real and FEEL! Along with the detoxing you will begin to take responsibility for your feelings and emotions. It can be a little confusing at first but when you give into sobriety and give into the emotion. I hope you’ll find that this is refreshing and a relief to get out of the fog and embrace clarity. S.T.A.Y. positive! S.T.A.Y. strong! And most importantly… S.T.A.Y. on the Island! :) And don’t forget to try and have a little fun along the way! Look at it as this…”30 Days” is a celebration of life and an affirmation of the authentic you, the person you were before you polluted your body with toxins! “30 Days” is a celebration, it is not life sentence! :) That doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it does mean that each day you are sober you are stronger and that is something to celebrate!!! Go for it!!! Welcome! S.T.A.Y.!!
(PS – (ISLAND ACTIVITY) If you get lost on the Island look up on the hill and you’ll see the Lighthouse…follow the light and we’ll all be there to guide you back home! :)
Lighthouse :)
PDQ – Love your post! “…if you get past the German U-Boats then…”…then…you’ll have to drift alone in rough waters clinging on for dear life as the sharks nip at your feet…if you make it past the sharks then you’ll be scared out of your mind when the Aliens hover overhead and shine a bright light that beams you up into a cold, unfamiliar space ship and you are probed with metal objects and robbed of your memory (Did someone say “Black Out”? – LOL!) And if they let you go and drop you back on earth then you’ll most likely land in a pile of cow shit high on a mountain top in the middle of nowhere and you’ll be cold and hungry and once again alone and confused and you’ll hack your way through the brush and terrain and find a stream where you think you’ll have a nice fresh sip of water and can relax for a minute until you see a huge bear looming over you and you run for your life, etc, etc, etc….well we get the picture…we could go on and on and on! I love it! Really puts things in perspective in a fun way…
…AND…
MARTHA – Your “Night Of The Living Dead” reference was the best of them all!! I have been attacked by those zombies so many times I don’t want to think about it!
DON – Please don’t feel bad for getting “ambushed by cannibals”…you are only human and you are really a wonderful guy. None of us are perfect, you have a lot going on in your life, and we are here for you. Don’t go anywhere my friend! S.T.A.Y. right here with us where you belong! :)
CAROL – Welcome back! Missed you! I left your porch light on while you were gone…did you see it glowing in the dark to guide you home? Lots of love was emanating your way! With a year and some days under your belt you are our visionary and keeper of the flame! Glad to have you back!
On that happy note…if it’s not to early…I will put the lights out…and as always…leave a torch burning for new comers…and for anyone who might have a little insomnia ;) xoxo
GOODNIGHT! LIGHTS OUT!!
LIGHTHOUSE
Hi Islanders.
A post from the mainland. Back in a hotel (Portland, Oregon) after some glorious camping up in Washington and Vancouver Island. I’ll be back to the island this Friday after a little more camping in Northern CA.
Gone back and read all the past posts that I’ve missed and congrats to all the continuing success stories and the new ones about to be experienced.
Richard-after my 32 days, I too felt the overwhelming need to “test” myself. Suffice it to say I failed miserably. The first two days on vacation started innocently enough. A couple of beers the first day, a couple glasses of wine the next. By the third and fourth I had bored through a fifth of gin. The fifth and sixth day, another fifth. I’ve hopefully “caught” myself and will start a new 30 days this Friday.
Ivy-so glad to read that you buried the demon after your small slip and I’ll look forward to returning to help with the late night torch duty.
Sleep tight all and ttys.
MJ-thanks for the heads up. I hope the rest of your vacation is fantastic. We miss you. Have a safe journy home. We’ll leave a torch lit for you.
I’m sure you will have no trouble getting back on track.
To Everybody– I am sorry!!! I feel like some of (most of) my posts have actually been a distraction for you. I am 2 things, lonely and used to being the star of the show. I want to be the one who says THE THING that helps somebody be sober. I want to be profound. I guess if I do that for somebody, I think it will erase all the drunk hours I wasted not doing that. I guess also if I can say the magic words for somebody, they will be the magic words for me. I want to stop drinking, I want to help others stop drinking and I want to be part of a “community”.
Right now I feel like the most profound things I will be able to say are “day 1″ “day 2″. Maybe that’s all I’ll say. Maybe that’s all I should say, but know I’m reading. Many of you have been soooo kind, loving and supportive…you know who you are!! I want to give something back and maybe I just don’t have it to give.
I’m in a canoe, rowing back to the island and working all the way. Working. I’ll be there by sunrise and it’s gonna be a dry July.
Its been 37 days off a year now since I ‘gave up drinking for a year’ and I was checking twitter yesterday when I noticed a tweet from Northumbria Police (northumbriapol) about a ‘big drink debate’ in the north east of England. Obviously with doing the challenge I had a look and found their message was pretty much what I’ve come to believe (that you can have drink in moderation and still enjoy yourself (if your not an alcoholic of course)).
I emailed them to see if they wanted to link to the blog (always after free publicity ;-) and Matt who is running the PR for the campaign rang me today. He seems interested in what I had to say and the blog might get a little publicity out of it which is nice. I think the message they’re promoting though is the right one, and thats to change peoples attitude to drinking…not to stop them but to help them understand that change isnt a bad thing. If your from the North East then perhaps you’ll want to fill this survey in. I think I’ll re-tweet it on my twitter too.
http://www.northeastbigdrinkdebate.org.uk/
Hi Key; you are so honest – you have much to share – I believe that your ups and downs are helping others – yes you paddle that canoe back to the island – even with the your trips to the mainland you have many people here on the Island watching out for your safety and hoping you can paddle back – there are endless attempts – you will not run out of “Do Overs” – keep on keeping on – the need to be part of the community is a good thing and one of these times the sobriety will stick
Lighthouse; thanks for my porch light I saw glowing with your heart’s intensity – I missed you all so much – one of these days I will get me a laptop n whatever to be able to keep in touch while I’m away – I thought of you all every day
more later – love, STAY – love, xoxoxo
Key- you’ve got a good heart. Paddle back & stick around. Your presence is enough – you don’t need to say something profound every time.
Don, Grayson, Faith – where are you? give a holler!
David C; I am speaking for me when I say this – it is my understanding that this blog was set up to be a place for people to quit drinking for 30 days and share their experiences – many of us feel the need to continue blogging to continue sobriety as well as help people with their start – our goal is all about Not Drinking and we do not advocate returning to drinking since the cycle just begins again – we have encouraged those who want to drink moderately to seek support from websites that advocate that behavior and leave this blog for sobriety – Carol
David C – perhaps you could have asked the users of the blog if they wanted to be linked to any outside site. i don’t recall being asked if we want publicity !
wow im very sorry if I caused offence, that certainly wasnt the intention. The only reason I even commented on this blog is that its what inspired me nearly a year ago, and I felt it helpful at the time. I see the people have changed and the people who gave me positive feedback are probably not here anymore. I really do appologise. Also I havent posted a link to this site anywhere except about a year ago when I meantioned what a support it had been. Good luck with your personal challenges
I should probably make it clear that when I said ‘the blog’ I meant my own blog and not this one
Wow – so many intense posts in the past 12 hours. It is uplifting and inspiring to read all of your emotions and thoughts on this site and on sobriety. Thank you.
I personally tend to be tight lipped when it comes to life. Alcholism has always been the dirty word in my family and then I married a man with the same dirty blood lines. This affliction/disease tends to make me retreat into my shell for fear of being found out and a result of the depression that follows.
Two days down. I was tempted last night but I abstained. Feels like I am climbing Mt. Everest rather than lounging on the island. I have done this before, I can do it now. I just need to believe in myself.
nothing clever – there’s nothing cleverer than what you’re doing right now. two days down means you’ve made a Big breakthrough, and whatever happens now, just stay strong, or as our don says, hang tough. best wishes to you…
love, ben
I had a comment posted on my blog a short time ago and I deleted it because I think they have totally misunderstood what I said on this blog, and I think they have actually done the exact thing they didnt want! they mentioned this blog on my blog. Im sure they wont mind that I’ve reposted the comment but removed referance to the site itself:
The Anonumous comment:
“arrogant egoist ! we on [the site] never were consulted about being linked to any outside site. HOW DARE YOU !”
I would like to point out that nearly a year ago when I linked to their site I did so with the best intentions as I thought it was a great site and it inspired me to write my own. Im also going to remove the link I posted nearly a year ago. Hopefully they will understand the misunderstanding. Again Im sorry
david c – i’m a bit confused about where you posted reference to this blog. i would request that you remove any reference to this blog anywhere you have posted the link and/or the name of this blog. we have discussed the issue of this link being publicized and it has been stated by many in the group that there is uneasiness with it being publicized. there is comfort in having this blog for those of us who have stumbled upon it. many of us need and value the anonymity and worry that publicity may compromise that.
ok let me clear things up. I have a blog which I wrote after reading this one a year ago. I mentioned on that blog (nov 08) that it was nice someone from here had commented on it.
Then yesterday I got a call from someone in my area who is a PR manager for a ‘drink in moderation’ campaign and they asked if I would be willing to be interviewed on my experience of an alcohol free year. I then mentioned my conversation on here as I thought people might want to fill out the survey they are running.
I never mentioed this blog to them, I have not made any referance to it except a year ago when I said it was nice that someone on here made a nice comment.
I can only assume I’ve been misunderstood because I really dont know what I did wrong. In case this is all about the comment I made back in November I have removed it. I hope that puts all this to rest
Wow! There has been a lot said since I have been sleeping. I am new to the island, and I know that I have no business talking out of turn, but I believe this site is capable of helping many that “stumble upon it” out of a living hell that is unimaginable for most.
When people are desperate they will seek help. Thats how I found this site. I am just learning the ropes and believe when we leave the island that it could mean that we are off drinking somewhere, I am not sure.
I stumbled upon this site after an extremely bad night, it helped me move on to a new day, which might not have been possible without the sight. If the blog goes public, I for one, won’t feel comfortable.
Today, July 1st 2009, I take the islands thirty day challenge.
I think you all for your kind words and inspiration.
Lighthouse, I wish I new you in real life; you are so kind and thoughtful.
Carol,
I love your down right honesty. it helps keep me honest with myself. We should all respect the sobriety of the island. I will remember to do the same. Like you mentioned earlier, wine is seductive, and so is the thought of having another drink if your with someone to offer even the slightest encouragement to do so. Thanks for your honesty
Petunia,
I agree, I don’t feel comfortable in a public domain. Most people are good, but there are way too many people that I have learned not to trust with this information.
Day 1
Mckinley
Hi Mckinley; the Island was created awhile back as a non-alcohol fantasy of pleasure for us abstainers to reward ourselves as we accomplish the awesome feat of not drinking – it has nothing to do with the blog – those of us who participate enjoy “playing” in a positive energy, non-alcohol environment virtual vacation – when we partake of alcohol we “went to the mainland” – one must travel by abstinence back to the Island and become abstinent again –
it is my belief that the demon/beast lurks watching for a weak spot to tempt us and cause us to drink – not really cause us because we choose to take that drink – that is why we all talk about getting ourselves prepared ahead of time – when you have the time and opportunity read back and you will find a wealth of information about abstinence and the complexity of alcohol
David C I sense your need to to have the last word in this discussion – and you may – I do not choose to engage in debate just express my feelings for the blog which has brought me a quality of life I cannot have while drinking – I wish you luck and most of all I love my Islandmates – carol xoxoxo
Thanks Carol. My best wishes to you all
David C – Thank you for trying to reconstruct your story and for trying to do what commenters on this site have asked which is to keep the site unpublicized. And if I’m reading this right, you stayed sober for a year (I can’t figure out if you mean you are still 37 days sober after a year or you went back to drinking 37 days ago!). At any rate, I guess the message is clear from this side! So, your sensitivity is much appreciated and I thank you.
Scout
As to the rest of everyone, good morning dry July 1!
…River Rat, I think I wrote to you once that your posts always had such a calming effect for me. Not sure what it is about them, though I can feel your care and gracious self coming through like a nice arm around the shoulder. Thank you.
PDQ – I have a poem here. I read Mary Oliver regularly as she provides solace and questions for me. Two things I crave. Anyway, I was reading this today and I thought about you. Again, I’m not sure why (is this because I have a sense of who people are through their words – perhaps I have imagined everyone as your wordselves.) But, I hope you like it – and that others do too. In some way, what Mary Oliver sees is what I hope to see with my clear eyes at least by the time I’m 125 years old.
Poem: Can You Imagine
For example, what the trees do
not only in lightning storms
or the watery dark of a summer night
or under the white nets of winter
but now, and now, and now—whenever
we’re not looking. Surely you can’t imagine
they just stand there looking the way they look
when we’re looking; surely you can’t imagine
they don’t dance, from the root up, wishing
to travel a little, not cramped so much as wanting
a better view, or more sun, or just as avidly
more shade—surely you can’t imagine they just
stand there loving every
minute of it, the birds or the emptiness, the dark rings
of the years slowly and without a sound
thickening, and nothing different unless the wind,
and then only in its own mood, comes
to visit, surely you can’t imagine
patience, and happiness, like that.
Mary Oliver Long Life
with love on this day,
Scout
ive been keeping up from the sidelines for 3 days now, watching and waiting for something motivational to pop into my head so that i could post it. I havent had a sober weekend in ten years. Im on day 4. Islands nice. You guys are awesome. keep on keepin on… and thanks.