Update (Sep 4, 2010): Due to the overwhelming, and ongoing popularity of this post (over 22,000 comments and counting!), I’ve recently started working on a new tool to make tracking and sharing your progress quitting drinking a whole lot easier and more fun.
It’s called Quitfest. Please feel free to check it out!
There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
– Terry Pratchett
My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. It’s for this reason that I can’t remember my grandpa’s funeral: I was only four. This is also why my grandma has meticulously avoided alcohol for over 20 years. If there’s anything to the rumours about alcoholism being influenced by heredity, I’m probably tagged.
My own consumption patterns change. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of several months having three or four drinks, three to five times a week. Sometimes I’ll restrict my consumption to social occasions. For about five months starting last December, in my quest to master the art of talking to strangers, my social life became two full-time jobs. I was constantly going out to social events, clubs, bars, museum parties, and everything in between. Despite temptation, I rarely drank.
Last month, I quit drinking alcohol again. I’d like to tell you that it was a struggle. I’d like to pretend that it’s almost impossible to stay sober at a social occasion where everyone else is burping bubbles. I’d like to imagine myself as more determined and disciplined than all the rest, and that’s what pulled me through.
But the truth is that I’m ruthlessly normal. And if you want to end your relationship with alcohol, right here, right now, It’s Not That Hard.
I’m guessing that most people who choose to quit drinking are not alcoholics. My intent is to offer here an action plan that anyone can apply, whether you’re nursing an addiction or just want to enjoy the benefits of uninterrupted sobriety.
Why Stop Drinking?
The long-term effects of bad habits are rarely sufficient to motivate people to change their lives. The near-term benefits of giving up alcohol are much more useful and interesting anyway. Here are the changes I experienced:
- Productive socializing. Talking to strangers is a great way to build character, but its benefits are greatly reduced when you’re drunk. The alcohol represses much of the social anxiety, which inhibits lasting change. But the only thing more terrifyingly fun than getting drunk and meeting a bunch of new people is staying sober and meeting a bunch of new people.
- Avoid the McPilgrimage. Clearly, there’s a conspiracy between the fast food industry and the liquor industry. Free will collapses under the weight of insobriety and convenience. With enough alcohol in your system, even the most wretched burger joint becomes an irresistible sanctuary.
- Reclaim lost time. Let’s say you have a few drinks around the house, three times a week, and that light touch of drunkenness costs you three hours of productive thinking each time. Within one year, you’ll have shaved about one full month off your life. That’s a lot of lost CPU time that could have been put towards reading a book, writing a speech, playing a sport, or even starting a business. And this doesn’t even count the time lost waiting for your brain to resolidify the morning after a night on the town.
- Get rich quickly. You don’t have to party that hard to spend $100-$150/week or more on alcohol and related expenses. If you quit drinking today, you could reasonably expect to convert that choice into a bankroll for backpacking around the world in about six months.
- Become an early riser. I’m currently readjusting my sleep schedule to wake up at 5:30 AM, seven days a week. Alcohol, and the lifestyle that often accompanies it, work against this process. Alcohol makes me feel tired when I want to feel energetic and awake. Ironically, it also increases wakefulness during sleep.
You can probably think of other instantly gratifying benefits to life beyond the bottle. The important thing is to actually have a reason that is important enough to you.
Make It Priority Number One
Giving up alcohol is one of the easiest and hardest changes you can make in your life.
It’s easy once you’ve established the right rules, configured your environment to support you, and set up useful boundaries of pain and pleasure to help direct you towards your goal. The hard parts are the social implications and fighting off the One Man Army that is your ego, with its barrage of self-limiting beliefs and drink requests.
Giving up alcohol must be made priority number one in your life. A partial commitment is a commitment to failure. Even if you already don’t drink that often, it will be tempting to break your own rules when your friends call you up and invite you out. You’ve got to be willing to prioritize this decision in every situation where it’s relevant, even when that means Just Saying No to pub night.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Ever notice how some people act as though the end of their relationship is the end of the world? It’s as if there’s no point in living if they can’t be with that person any longer. Yet other people come along and date that person who left them, eventually break up with them, and see it as hardly more than a blip on the radar.
You may feel that it’s pretty easy to give up drinking. Or you may feel that it’s an addiction with a stranglehold on your life. Either way, there is no inherent magnitude to this task. It’s as big or as small as you make it.
No matter how much you want to tell yourself how hard it is, nobody’s ever going to claim that learned helplessness was the secret to their success. The most effective way forward is to not only make quitting drinking a top priority, but to think, talk, and act like it can be done.
Become the Impartial Spectator
Whether you view it as a spiritual separation, or merely conceptual, we all have more than one self. There’s the “Mmmmm…beeeer…” self, and the impartial spectator that can detach from and observe this desire.
Let the latter voice be your authority. You’re allowed to want a drink as much as you’re allowed to choose not to have one. There’s tremendous power in observing your thoughts as a third party. The impartial spectator can feel the heat without getting burned.
When in doubt, let it be there. No matter how bad the storm seems, it will pass.
Commit to 30 Days
If you’ve never done it before, it can be hard to think of giving up drinking forever. It’s discouraging to commit to permanent change, only to back out a few days or weeks into it. Some people will face social friction and lifestyle changes for which they’re unprepared.
But life is a laboratory. It’s an adventure that takes shape through hypothesis and experimentation, and most decisions can be reverted. When it comes to making big changes like this, live before you leap. Promise yourself that you will commit to this 100%, but only for 30 days, and see how it goes.
This is exactly what I did last month. I promised myself that November would be alcohol-free, and it was. Truth be told, I had a few drinks on day 31. But I broke the negative pattern that was creeping up on me and gained back the energy to spend on more important activities. And I’ve repeatedly proven to myself that I can give up alcohol whenever I feel like, whenever it seems like the right thing to do.
Dump Your Existing Stash
Any goal that’s important to you is important enough to start on right now. My 30-day challenge to give up alcohol started at about 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had just gotten back from a post-nightclub McPilgrimage with some friends. I had a great time. I met lots of people. I even ended up dating a girl I met that night.
But I was really annoyed by how much I’d poured into me that night, at succumbing to the resulting Big Mac temptation, and at how much I was going to regret the hangover. As soon as I got home, the challenge was on. I had one last beer in my fridge, which I ceremoniously poured down the kitchen sink.
If you’re serious about doing this, get rid of your alcohol. If you’ve got $300 worth of spirits in your cabinet and you’re not yet sure if you want to empty it all down the drain, only to change your mind in 30 days, then store it at a friend’s place during your probation period. Preferably a friend that doesn’t drink.
Advertise Your Decision
I told most of my friends about what I was doing. Not only only does this add accountability to your goal, it also drops the hint that if your friends are planning on going out and getting wasted, you’re probably not interested.
Of course, you don’t have to avoid social situations where you’ll be the only one not drinking. I’ve gone out stone sober many times–even on my own–and met loads of people. Once you get used to social skydiving, you no longer need alcohol’s permission to talk to strangers and have a good time. You can get to that place by either getting hammered out of your face, or by learning to just not care what other people think. Frankly, the latter is way more fun.
Fire Your Drinking Buddies
Alcohol may be so tightly integrated into your social life that it seems almost impossible to go an entire weekend without drinking. If the only thing you have in common with your friends is that you like the same lagers, you might want to consider finding new friends.
I’ve let go of people in my social circle before and I know it’s not easy–but that doesn’t make it unnecessary. This might be the hardest thing you do in choosing a life without alcohol. The key is to remember that friends are an abundant resource. Having a strong social circle is purely a function of the effort you invest into it. That includes choosing to associate only with people who are aligned with your purpose, while avoiding the energy vampires.
This is another benefit of a 30-day commitment. Instead of permanently downsizing your social life, you can choose to be busy only for the next few weeks. Observe how it affects you when you stop spending time with your beer buddies. Join a local user group for something you’re interested in to bring yourself into contact with people with whom you share more than just a bar tab.
Bribe Yourself
I haven’t used this specific technique for giving up alcohol, but I have used it with much success in bulldozing my way through a wall of social anxiety.
Associate massive pain to backing out. To create that pain, visit your nearest bank machine. Withdraw an amount of money that you’d feel uncomfortable losing. Give it to a friend you trust. Tell them that you get your money back if, and only if, you don’t have a drop of alcohol until your 30 days are up. You’ll be surprised at how even the most difficult tasks become doable when you associate massive pain to breaking your own rules. Money can be a great way to make it hurt. If you can think of an even better form of self-bribery, go for it.
The stronger you feel that alcohol is a part of your life, the more of these techniques you may want to apply. My most recent alcohol-free challenge didn’t require bribery or letting go of any friends. But I did find it extremely useful to limit the challenge to 30 days, to give myself permission to live the lifestyle before leaping to a permanent decision.
I also think that making this a top priority is key, no matter what your current consumption habits. It’s so easy to let yourself slip for just one night, and then feel guilty about breaching your own contract later on.
ivy,i have to go to the dentist monday…grrrrrr…mainly for a 6 month check up but having sensitivity (sp?) issues in one of the above ones- dang!!!!! this getting old stuff is work!!plus somehow, in my exercise mission, I pulled a muscle in my hip so that pain is taking more of my thoughts away from my sensitive tooths- I know I know, I don’t sound like a ‘pretty picture’ right now hobbling around, but things are good and I am happy to have this ‘down’ time-holiday weekend- to rest and relax at home. Hope everyone is feeling good -
Steve- you’ll be ok just be a friend to yourself right now -and you can work thru it-just ‘ride the wave’ cause when you fight it -it will pull ya under!
Steve, I relate man! You’re getting good advise here which I am also taking to heart. I’m thinking of you as we both fight for traction to get out of the ditch!
Congratulations, Richard! Such an accomplishment! I hope you had a great day yesterday.
Steve,
It was great to read your post. I’ve been having a very difficult time as well. Yesterday, I decided to try something new. Every time the thought of drinking or not drinking enters my mind, I immediately stop the thoughts, stop the analyzing, stop the rationalizing. I’m doing this with the pro-sobriety thoughts, too. After some wise words (thanks, Scout!) I decided that I was adding degrees of difficulty to this process that simply weren’t necessary. I’m tired of thinking about it all of the time. When I read the posts and post myself, I give it my full attention, but the minute I log off I plan to let (or force!) my thoughts to wander elsewhere. I’m not sure if this will work or not, but it has brought a lot of calm to my life the last 24 hours. I’ll let you know!
Scout, I loved the poem, too, and especially loved the post about patience. I often sit outside with bird seed in my hand hoping a chickadee will come to me…not yet…but maybe, soon.
More thoughts, later. Lots of catch up after returning from a fun trip.
Carol, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you help your sister.
Grayson, someone may have suggested this already, but maybe fresh squeezed cherry limeade. The squeezing of the limes is distracting, stress-relieving, and fun. And what a great drink!
Happy 4th, dear friends.
Martha
Like that idea, Martha – about letting your mind keep floating rather than keep bumping up against the hard rocks of internal challenge. Sometimes I imagine you have row pretty hard in another direction and other times, just a gentle reminder. A massage might also be in order. That sober wallet idea ought to yield some perks!
Glad you’re back!
Scout
Hi Everyone; I spent several hours with my sister and took her to the asst living facility and we had lunch there – a fine meal and she is ready to move and wants to know when every 20 seconds – she is construing a variety of stories and the yarns will continue to spin – thank you all for your support – these things used to drive me up the wall and into the wine bottle but I did not go there went home and took a nap – Monday the business of the move will begin – I am glad she is pleased –
all the doggies have been fed and they will be walked then I will crate the grand-dogs and take mine to the bark park for their play time
Gypsie; good luck with your tooth and your hip
Everyone good luck with the July 4th Eve and all it entails
Grayson, I am picturing you rushing around getting things “right” for your guests – I will be toasting you tomorrow with Cranergy n Seltzer as well – you have my support
enjoy whatever time zone you are in
Steve you are in my thoughts and heart
STAY – love, carol xoxoxo
Hi Everybody…weird..I slept all day today. Good thing I decided to get sober during a vacation from work ( I knew I had to do it this way). I didn’t plan it but with no panic attacks, no shame, no guilt, I was having great dreams and completely detoxing, (I was covered with sweat) it was one great sleep.
Sorry my post last night didn’t make sense. I get cravings to DRINK when I’m hungry in the evening. I usually drink my dinner thinking I won’t get as fat as I would if I ate. I weighed 100 lbs when I started thinking like that. That thinking caused me to GAIN 15 lbs. I come from a genetically skinny family, truly, and since my intentions to become sober, false starts and all, I’ve lost 5 lbs in the last month. Eating supper is less calories and more healthful than drinking. But those cravings…urg. It’s really good advice to keep snacks around. If I eat immediately when I’m hungry and don’t have to prepare anything, I have more success against the cravings. I didn’t have anything ready yesterday so I got O’Douls and managed.
STEVE–I know where you are at. I’m no guru at this. I began posting June 2 and have had at least 3 false starts at my sobriety since then. In the last month I accumulated about 12 sober days, but that’s 12 more than 12 months before. Day 1 is easy because you’re hungover. Day 2 is harder but you’re starting to get the benefits of sobriety, but might have insomnia. Day 3 is killer because you are pretty detoxed and could have really bad insomnia…every day after that gets better. I think you should try at least 3 days sober to remind yourself what it feels like. Come on dude, you can do it! We’re all here for you—take a vacation from drinking here on the Island were everybody is friendly and a nice hut welcomes you!!!
To all, I’ll see if I can get a picture of my puppies on my gravitar.
Happy Independence Month!
Martha–you put it well. What you wrote is exactly why I love the island imagery. Instead of thinking about not drinking, I think about the beautiful island, with friends all around, flowers, beaches, huts neatly furnished and magically cared for by those around you, tiki bar, bonfires at night…and lost souls wandering in and out 24/7. Richard has added a lot of more civilized features like golf course, submarine, yacht I think and a sailboat if I’m not mistaken. He has plucked me out of the sea several times since he stays up pretty late.
Where is Peppermint? On vacation? Pep, I’m finally doing great and I miss you!!!
viva la isla!!!
carol – i am happy for you that your sister is okay with moving, and even eager to do so. it’s challenging situations such as these that really test our strength, exponentially so when we are trying to maintain sobriety.i can only imagine how stressful it is and you are dealing with it with strength and grace.
steve – it is really good to hear from you, though i wish you were not going through a rough time. i remember when i first found this site that your posts were so upbeat, encouraging to others, and motivating to me. i believe you can get back to that place once you decide to start again. you got really far (was it 82 days?), last time which is a HUGE accomplishment. bring back to mind all of the good things that come with sobriety, and that much of the bad things you are feeling right now are made worse or caused by alcohol.
petunia
River Rat, Steve, Grayson — and other “restarting returnees”. We’ve done it before and we can do it again!
McKinley — you mentioned you were glad to be back. Have you had previous successes?
PDQ – Congrats on your 11 days — stay strong through the holiday and look forward to see you closing in on that 15 day marker.
————
I’m in no position to offer advice. Less than two weeks ago, I managed 32 days (the longest I’ve ever gone by some 29-30 days). This after 3 decades of drinking. I lost the streak on day 33 and binged (more than normal) through 7-8 days of my recent vacation. I’m back on the Island — Day 1.
…but I think I may have gained a valuable perspective (about my relapse) and one that I’d like to share. I’m sure it has been visited before so forgive my repetition if that’s the case.
After 32 days, I felt empowered that I could moderate (even after never really trying moderation). I’ve heard the all the warnings, but it would be different “for me”. As we all know, daily adult moderation scales are generally agreed upon as 1-2 beers (or) 1-2 four oz. glasses of wine (or) 1-2 spirit drinks (1 1/2 oz).
Obviously I drank for the buzz and have much higher than normal tolerances. I’ll borrow from the immortal words of Cheech and Chong and apply them to what I think about the above moderation levels.
– “Shit man, that wouldn’t get a fly high!”
In short, maybe I’ve realized (with my one small success) it’s easier NOT to drink than trying to moderate by constantly tempting myself (on my scale) with “eye dropper” amounts of alcohol. A simple premise that the Island elders already knew — and one that perhaps I now get!
Happy 4th everyone and have a great “S cubed” holiday. Safe, Sane and Sober!
M.J. – peace to you!
Yeah, I can relate regarding wrestling with moderation. When I’ve lapsed, it’s (perhaps too obviously) dawned on me that I really CANNOT moderate. Oh sure, it starts off ok on, like, the first day – and then thereafter, I’m knocking back a 6-pack a night — and NOT because I *love* beer but REALLY because my brain is just begging for more chemicals. I know this because I’m just as happy drinking a shitty beer as I am an expensive one.
Anyway, yeah, trust me – I relate, my friend.
Lighthouse, Faith, Mckinley, Carol and others- I’m in for the 5pm Idependence Day toast tomorrow as well.
My cookout/party starts around noon and I expect over 50 people to attend. In years past, the party ended around 3AM in the morning.
Today was a strange day for me because of all the preparation that goes in to hosting a party. Purchasing tons of bugers, hotdogs, and chicken was the easy part. Going to the liquer store followed by a trip to the beer distibutor was the stange part. First time I’ve been to beer city in over two months. The lady had to do a double take when she saw me purchasing a quarter keg of Miller Lite. She says to me, “Hey kid, where you been?” I plain out told her I quit drinking over two months ago. She said, “good for you kid.” Long story short is that I have a keg on ice and a bunch of bottles of liquer in the freezer for the party tomorrow. None of which is for me of course. I’ll be sure to check in on this blog if need be tomorrow. I’m sure being sober I will have a story or two to tell you about my drunken friends from a sober prespective of things.
Steve- We miss you. You know we are all here to help you get sober again.
G-nite all,
-Grayson-
Grayson-did you get any N/A alternatives?
STEVE – Good to hear from you! I’m glad you responded to my shout out! Sorry I didn’t write you back earlier, this is the first I’ve checked the site today and was pleasantly surprised to find you! I’m sorry you’re not doing to well. :( I agree with others, don’t fight it, just go with whatever you are feeling…but go about it responsibly to yourself and others. Which means be cognizant, be thoughtful and be safe. When you are ready to come back, come back. And if you can’t do it on your own, then maybe you need to reach out to friends, family, a clinic, AA meetings, etc. Maybe you need some personal interaction in addition to the 30zzz blog. Maybe you need to get a partner or sponsor to get sober with? When you are ready try again, whatever you do, please STAY close to the Island. Don’t float away Steve…I see you out there…we’ll keep a torch burning for you tonight and every night.
I took the liberty of cutting and pasting your last post and adding a few lines/rhymes of my own…from me to you…
Lighthouse:nice to hear from you.
(NIce to hear from you too…)
i am not doing very good at the moment.
(Please don’t be blue…)
i feel helpless against alcohol at the moment.
(So do I…)
i make up my mind that its day 1 and feel great,
(I wake up and question why…?)
then the next day i go and get bottles of cider,
(And then I give it another try…)
not sure what to do at the moment.
(Be patient..and when you’re ready…spread your wings and fly!!)
steve
(Lighthouse)
Hi Steve; I love Lighthouse’ sweet poem to you – yes I am here – raise your hand and wave your arms so I can see you – yep – gotcha in my binoculars – you are safe – no sharks circling
Grayson 5 o’clock will be toast to the STAY Folks nearest and dearest to your heart so at 5PM EST look at your watch, take a sip of your virgin whatever and I will be sipping with you – this party and enough booze to choke a horse is a big step for you – I love those little kegs that can be kept in the frig – used to get Heinekins mm mm – they don’t last long enough – I will be having Cranergy n Seltzer
MJ; welcome back the Island awaits you place is held for you – you had to do some research on moderation and you did – we all have to learn things our own way – I know the slope would be too damn slippery for me so I keep saying you “just can’t do it” and “I am one drink away from being sober” and STAY and they work for me
I’ve been watching Twilight Zone Marathons tonight and they are still great
sweet dreams – let’s wake up tomorrow to the privilege of our country’s Independence Day and our own personal Independence Day Celebrations everybody – love, carol xoxoxo
I tried to sleep but I think I’m suffering from the anxiety of our cookout tomorrow.
Key- I loved the idea you had about the N/A alternatives but to be honest, I don’t think anyone at my cookout would take to it. I have a bunch of drunks for my friends plus a while back a had a few N/A beers and it freaked me out. It felt as if I was drinking the real thing and acted as a trigger for me. I’ll be fine watching everyone else get wasted and me drinking my bottle of coke or sipping on some ice tea.
Lighthouse- That was an amazing poem that you wrote for Steve! I hope he reads it soon! That just might be the inspiration he needs to get back on track. It sure as hell would have inspired me!
Carol- When you toast with that cranergy and seltzer of yours do it at 8pm EST. Lighthouse origianlly came up the the idea and she is on the West Coast so it’s 5pm her time but 8pm in our neck of the woods.
For real this time, I’m gonna try to sleep. I’ve been reading a book that I read last in highschool. “The Stand” by Stephen King. Such a classic and much more enjoyable now that I’m older.
Happy 4th everyone!
-Grayson-
GRAYSON – Do you remember the day of the burning ceremony…? Will you please retell the story of what you did that day? I think your story will give you and others strength to make it through the weekend. I will relive my ceremony as I toast all of you in unison!
Is anyone else joining us for the toast? If so it is 5pm (PST)
Let FREEDOM ring! :)
xox LIGHTHOUSE
I’ll toast on central time 7:00 and I’ll be standing next to my closest friend who drinks way too much and has no idea her anxiety attacks and other health problems would most likely lessen if she would stop drinking.
My kids are running around telling everybody “My Mom’s having a Dry July”. Nobody thinks I drink too much so they just think it’s no big deal. It helps me stay committed though.
I was tempted tonight so I was going to run to the store and get O’Douls, but instead I ate Shrimp Creole that I made last night and it quenched my craving.
Best of everything Grayson. You might read Brad’s stuff about having a bunch of drunks for friends. I have left 3 behind and one who was addicted to food, not alcohol, and weighs over 300 lbs. Had to. we were all enablers.
Peace.
Grayson, if you describe your friends as a bunch of drunks, how do they describe you? I just wonder because if they still describe you that way and you’re trying to quit, maybe some of them are too and you just don’t know yet.
Key – I had an old drinking buddy invite me out for a drink around my “old 20th day”. I tried to shrug him off and finally (proudly) pronounced I wasn’t drinking. Turns out he was being sarcastic with his invite and hadn’t had a drink himself in over 6 months! We met and overdid it on some oysters and N/A beverages.
Carol – thanks so much for the welcome back to my hut and the wise words on the “slippery slope”.
PDQ – I appreciate the affirmation on relating.
Ivy, Richard – Hope your 4th is perfect. Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Grayson – We’ll await what I’m sure will be an entertaining and enlightening account on your cookout. Best of luck with it.
I’ll being doing a later (PST) toast after returning from a BBQ with my in laws – but will definitely catch up on the Independence Day posts tomorrow evening.
Great sleeps to all on the Island.
to all yoi great people a very very big thankyou.scout lighthouse grayson riverrat carol petunia mj key martha and anyone else ive over looked.your lovely kind words and thoughts are great thanks.and the poem carol is great.i am in contact with collen too by e-mail,its all giving me strength.hopefully i can get back to where i was before i got to about 82 days i think,but its a day at a time,so here goes.this is day 2 ish as the first day was drinking at 4am.thanks you lot
oh and my little picture with the bridge i took with my mobile phone.its Blanes and the bay is sanfrancisco bay on the costa brava in spain.took it back in may.bye for now.steve
WELCOME BACK MJ!
LIGHTS OUT…as always…a torch is left burning for others to find their way…tonight it burns bright for Steve.
(PS – MJ – Did you bring back some Limonada? I hope so because we are fresh out! ;)
(PSS – COLLEEN – Thinking of you too..? Check in when you can…xo)
MJ–that is a cool story!
love you all
Good morning and happy day today! I love that the toasting will be once again a moment of solidarity and kinship! MJ – great that you posted and I could so relate to Cheech and Chong’s alarm at such puny glassfuls! That’s what scares me the most – I used to scoff at what was deemed “normal” or moderate drinking (scoff as in yeah, right – that’s not even drinking) and ignore it. Now that I’ve got distance, in all honesty, I can actually step back and see that my friends who drink normally or moderately really do freaking stop at one glass or two and are completely satisfied and oblivious to what would be my intense and seemingly uncontainable desire to get high. Yikes. It has taken months of being sober to actually “see” this, to see what was completely obvious. So, how come? (not how come I had the desire to get high when they have only the desire to have a glass of wine) but how come it took so long? Hmm. Thank you so much for writing your story of Dancing with Moderation. It’s EXACTLY these stories that have saved me from my own experiment. I am afraid it would be a much longer trip back than yours (bravo, you!!). That, actually scares me even more. So, I’m happy to know that it’s best I don’t accept the dance invitation and am content to sit on the sober sidelines or just move on. Thank you.
Carol – a night of cranenergy (just tried promegranate cranenergy by mistake and it’s good!) and the Twighlight Zone? That’s my idea of a summer night – I LOVE the TZ!
Steve – you sure have a lot of friends here, my dear. Have a super strong Day 2. We are rooting for you and wish you well!
Grayson – slip away for the toast; take a moment for yourself admist the partying and congratulate yourself on breaking off the habit!
Lighthouse – here’s to you this today, I loved your Steve Poem!
RR – hope you and the missus are having a wonderful holiday!
Faith and Faithful – Happy 4, happiness in all ways!
Petunia – Running and a massage lined up – I will be thinking of you, especially if I reach the zone (someday I’m sure it will happen!)
Martha – maybe there are fireworks in your future?!
Key – hang in there!
Maire – thinking of you.
To all – Congratulations on your journey thus far. One day, 380 days, and all in between – further out or 5 minutes old. It is a good thing. Not just for ourselves but for the way it brings good energy forward; in that way it is a selfless act. One that works in many dimensions. And we each sleep so much better at night knowing it is so.
With love
Scout
Happy 4th, Everyone. Continue to enjoy reading everyone’s posts. MJ, loved your moderation tale and PDQ’s and Spout’s comments on same. Key: love that your kids have taken to the “dry July” and congrats on holding up. Carol – you really rock! Kudos to you for the strength and peace you are showing about your sister’s situation.
Everyone: Count me in on the toast! I’ll be having 1 part vernor’s, 1 part fresh lemonade, and 1 part seltzer water.
WoW another Moment like our Burning Ceremony – steve Lighthouse gave you the poem – we are all so glad to hear from you – when I read your posts I look at your picture and the bridge touches me as very meaningful for you
the ceremonial drink of Independence and Solidarity of all of us in unison supporting Grayson through his party that I think is a test for him brings me to another level of strength that we have for each other
I have opportunities of things to do tonight but would rather just stay and STAY and keep the pups from becoming wired by the fireworks – I love to watch the big fireworks and music shows on TV and remember a time when I went to DC for the 4th at the Monument with my niece – we had large plastic to go cups full of wine n mix and our kids and had a memorable event – she is resentful of my not drinking – it is not my issue and I don’t talk about it – anyway I will remind her of that memorable event – I know how much better life is without the demon and she will have to find her own path
Grayson; I was an avid Steven King fan and loved all his books – the Stand was memorable – I think I read somewhere that he has stopped drinking – I have not read any he’s written since he had his head injury – just got away from them since Tommyknockers – my favorite was The Talisman – I liked your post last night – you sounded too excited to sleep – KEEP YOUR GUARD UP THE BEAST IS LURKING AND WANTS TO CATCH YOU IN A SLIP
scout I will get the pomegranete Cranergy – Great Day for America as Craig Ferguson says, and for us – love, carol xoxoxo
Good morning, gang.
All’s well! :-)
GRAYSON – Stay f*cking strong, my man. Remember today that there are A LOT of positive thoughts being sent your way. I’ll be with you in spirit having a soda with you.
Happy Independance Day Friends!
where to start? I read the notes from the past day and all are so moving. Everyone’s concern and support are just awesome. I’ve really not met Steve before, but think that he is very special from what is written to him and from him. Lighthouse, your poem was so personal and meaningful, although it was written to Steve from his notes, it could be any one of us feeling the exact same way at any given time. Steve, I love your picture and hope to get to know you better. I love the people here and you are one of them, just keep coming back.
Grayson, you are strong. Just keep thinking of your accomplishments, support here and how you’ll feet tomorrow when you wake up after not drinking. Who wrote the story recently about what “could have been if I drank” and what “really happened when I didn’t” I like that concept a lot and will use it myself in the future. At 5P.M, know we are all with you taking a sip of our N/A beverage and think of your sip (or gulp, or chugging) of your iced tea or whatever, as powerful potion to keep you strong, from ALL of us. You’ve helped us in so many ways, now take some back in a super dose. Keep checking in if you can.
MJ, it’s so good to see your posts since returning from vacation! As I’ve said, I’ve had my turn with the moderation too after hitting 33 days. Didn’t work! Although I had ONLY 4 glasses of wine (which started out to ONLY be one of course), I realized I was drunk. I hated the way I felt, and knew what the next day would be like, and it was exactly that. Headache, shaky, foggy, guilty etc. It took me until after noon to feel better. So although I was able to get back on the island after one day (thank God), I tried it and it stunk. I don’t want to do that again. When I woke up today, like every day sober, I just have to think for a minute “did I drink last night?”, and when the answer is no, I know it’s going to be a great day.
So anyway, MJ, I’m glad you are back, you tried it, and know what happened. As Scout and Carol told me, consider it an experiment and drive on. I read in Brad’s postings too how he tried drinking after 30 days. Same results.
There are many friends here who will enjoy the AP’s with you (did you bring more Limonata????).
I enjoy your notes and rely on your support.
Key, you are getting wiser by the second! Either that or being sober is really letting the real you shine! You offer so many interesting thoughts, stories and comments, and have a great sense of humor. Creole sounds great! Share the recipe sometime.
Hippiechick, I want to try the Vernor’s drink. Not alot of people like Vernor’s, but I do and it sounds like an interesting combination. Thanks.
PDQ, River Rat, Petunia, Martha, McKinley, Don (if you are out there please check in), Denise too, Carol, Scout, Lighthouse, Richard (where are you), Ben and all other fellow islanders, have a great day, see you all at 5 (wherever you are) for an Independance Day toast, to all of us, but especially to power Grayson.
Island Talk
Can we have a big bonfire tonight? I have stuff for s’mores. Maybe by then some coffee or tea would go great or some refreshing A.P’s mixed by MJ? I think we’ll be able to see fireworks from the mainland!
Love,
Ivy
One more thing…this is an email I received that I hesitated, at first, to share. After watching it again, I decided to send it. It’s titled “An interview with God”. It has beautiful pictures and thoughts.
The interview
No matter what you believe, this is worth the 60 seconds it takes to watch.
Click on: The interview
Sorry, can’t get it to forward.