Update (Sep 4, 2010): Due to the overwhelming, and ongoing popularity of this post (over 22,000 comments and counting!), I’ve recently started working on a new tool to make tracking and sharing your progress quitting drinking a whole lot easier and more fun.
It’s called Quitfest. Please feel free to check it out!
There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
– Terry Pratchett
My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. It’s for this reason that I can’t remember my grandpa’s funeral: I was only four. This is also why my grandma has meticulously avoided alcohol for over 20 years. If there’s anything to the rumours about alcoholism being influenced by heredity, I’m probably tagged.
My own consumption patterns change. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of several months having three or four drinks, three to five times a week. Sometimes I’ll restrict my consumption to social occasions. For about five months starting last December, in my quest to master the art of talking to strangers, my social life became two full-time jobs. I was constantly going out to social events, clubs, bars, museum parties, and everything in between. Despite temptation, I rarely drank.
Last month, I quit drinking alcohol again. I’d like to tell you that it was a struggle. I’d like to pretend that it’s almost impossible to stay sober at a social occasion where everyone else is burping bubbles. I’d like to imagine myself as more determined and disciplined than all the rest, and that’s what pulled me through.
But the truth is that I’m ruthlessly normal. And if you want to end your relationship with alcohol, right here, right now, It’s Not That Hard.
I’m guessing that most people who choose to quit drinking are not alcoholics. My intent is to offer here an action plan that anyone can apply, whether you’re nursing an addiction or just want to enjoy the benefits of uninterrupted sobriety.
Why Stop Drinking?
The long-term effects of bad habits are rarely sufficient to motivate people to change their lives. The near-term benefits of giving up alcohol are much more useful and interesting anyway. Here are the changes I experienced:
- Productive socializing. Talking to strangers is a great way to build character, but its benefits are greatly reduced when you’re drunk. The alcohol represses much of the social anxiety, which inhibits lasting change. But the only thing more terrifyingly fun than getting drunk and meeting a bunch of new people is staying sober and meeting a bunch of new people.
- Avoid the McPilgrimage. Clearly, there’s a conspiracy between the fast food industry and the liquor industry. Free will collapses under the weight of insobriety and convenience. With enough alcohol in your system, even the most wretched burger joint becomes an irresistible sanctuary.
- Reclaim lost time. Let’s say you have a few drinks around the house, three times a week, and that light touch of drunkenness costs you three hours of productive thinking each time. Within one year, you’ll have shaved about one full month off your life. That’s a lot of lost CPU time that could have been put towards reading a book, writing a speech, playing a sport, or even starting a business. And this doesn’t even count the time lost waiting for your brain to resolidify the morning after a night on the town.
- Get rich quickly. You don’t have to party that hard to spend $100-$150/week or more on alcohol and related expenses. If you quit drinking today, you could reasonably expect to convert that choice into a bankroll for backpacking around the world in about six months.
- Become an early riser. I’m currently readjusting my sleep schedule to wake up at 5:30 AM, seven days a week. Alcohol, and the lifestyle that often accompanies it, work against this process. Alcohol makes me feel tired when I want to feel energetic and awake. Ironically, it also increases wakefulness during sleep.
You can probably think of other instantly gratifying benefits to life beyond the bottle. The important thing is to actually have a reason that is important enough to you.
Make It Priority Number One
Giving up alcohol is one of the easiest and hardest changes you can make in your life.
It’s easy once you’ve established the right rules, configured your environment to support you, and set up useful boundaries of pain and pleasure to help direct you towards your goal. The hard parts are the social implications and fighting off the One Man Army that is your ego, with its barrage of self-limiting beliefs and drink requests.
Giving up alcohol must be made priority number one in your life. A partial commitment is a commitment to failure. Even if you already don’t drink that often, it will be tempting to break your own rules when your friends call you up and invite you out. You’ve got to be willing to prioritize this decision in every situation where it’s relevant, even when that means Just Saying No to pub night.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Ever notice how some people act as though the end of their relationship is the end of the world? It’s as if there’s no point in living if they can’t be with that person any longer. Yet other people come along and date that person who left them, eventually break up with them, and see it as hardly more than a blip on the radar.
You may feel that it’s pretty easy to give up drinking. Or you may feel that it’s an addiction with a stranglehold on your life. Either way, there is no inherent magnitude to this task. It’s as big or as small as you make it.
No matter how much you want to tell yourself how hard it is, nobody’s ever going to claim that learned helplessness was the secret to their success. The most effective way forward is to not only make quitting drinking a top priority, but to think, talk, and act like it can be done.
Become the Impartial Spectator
Whether you view it as a spiritual separation, or merely conceptual, we all have more than one self. There’s the “Mmmmm…beeeer…” self, and the impartial spectator that can detach from and observe this desire.
Let the latter voice be your authority. You’re allowed to want a drink as much as you’re allowed to choose not to have one. There’s tremendous power in observing your thoughts as a third party. The impartial spectator can feel the heat without getting burned.
When in doubt, let it be there. No matter how bad the storm seems, it will pass.
Commit to 30 Days
If you’ve never done it before, it can be hard to think of giving up drinking forever. It’s discouraging to commit to permanent change, only to back out a few days or weeks into it. Some people will face social friction and lifestyle changes for which they’re unprepared.
But life is a laboratory. It’s an adventure that takes shape through hypothesis and experimentation, and most decisions can be reverted. When it comes to making big changes like this, live before you leap. Promise yourself that you will commit to this 100%, but only for 30 days, and see how it goes.
This is exactly what I did last month. I promised myself that November would be alcohol-free, and it was. Truth be told, I had a few drinks on day 31. But I broke the negative pattern that was creeping up on me and gained back the energy to spend on more important activities. And I’ve repeatedly proven to myself that I can give up alcohol whenever I feel like, whenever it seems like the right thing to do.
Dump Your Existing Stash
Any goal that’s important to you is important enough to start on right now. My 30-day challenge to give up alcohol started at about 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had just gotten back from a post-nightclub McPilgrimage with some friends. I had a great time. I met lots of people. I even ended up dating a girl I met that night.
But I was really annoyed by how much I’d poured into me that night, at succumbing to the resulting Big Mac temptation, and at how much I was going to regret the hangover. As soon as I got home, the challenge was on. I had one last beer in my fridge, which I ceremoniously poured down the kitchen sink.
If you’re serious about doing this, get rid of your alcohol. If you’ve got $300 worth of spirits in your cabinet and you’re not yet sure if you want to empty it all down the drain, only to change your mind in 30 days, then store it at a friend’s place during your probation period. Preferably a friend that doesn’t drink.
Advertise Your Decision
I told most of my friends about what I was doing. Not only only does this add accountability to your goal, it also drops the hint that if your friends are planning on going out and getting wasted, you’re probably not interested.
Of course, you don’t have to avoid social situations where you’ll be the only one not drinking. I’ve gone out stone sober many times–even on my own–and met loads of people. Once you get used to social skydiving, you no longer need alcohol’s permission to talk to strangers and have a good time. You can get to that place by either getting hammered out of your face, or by learning to just not care what other people think. Frankly, the latter is way more fun.
Fire Your Drinking Buddies
Alcohol may be so tightly integrated into your social life that it seems almost impossible to go an entire weekend without drinking. If the only thing you have in common with your friends is that you like the same lagers, you might want to consider finding new friends.
I’ve let go of people in my social circle before and I know it’s not easy–but that doesn’t make it unnecessary. This might be the hardest thing you do in choosing a life without alcohol. The key is to remember that friends are an abundant resource. Having a strong social circle is purely a function of the effort you invest into it. That includes choosing to associate only with people who are aligned with your purpose, while avoiding the energy vampires.
This is another benefit of a 30-day commitment. Instead of permanently downsizing your social life, you can choose to be busy only for the next few weeks. Observe how it affects you when you stop spending time with your beer buddies. Join a local user group for something you’re interested in to bring yourself into contact with people with whom you share more than just a bar tab.
Bribe Yourself
I haven’t used this specific technique for giving up alcohol, but I have used it with much success in bulldozing my way through a wall of social anxiety.
Associate massive pain to backing out. To create that pain, visit your nearest bank machine. Withdraw an amount of money that you’d feel uncomfortable losing. Give it to a friend you trust. Tell them that you get your money back if, and only if, you don’t have a drop of alcohol until your 30 days are up. You’ll be surprised at how even the most difficult tasks become doable when you associate massive pain to breaking your own rules. Money can be a great way to make it hurt. If you can think of an even better form of self-bribery, go for it.
The stronger you feel that alcohol is a part of your life, the more of these techniques you may want to apply. My most recent alcohol-free challenge didn’t require bribery or letting go of any friends. But I did find it extremely useful to limit the challenge to 30 days, to give myself permission to live the lifestyle before leaping to a permanent decision.
I also think that making this a top priority is key, no matter what your current consumption habits. It’s so easy to let yourself slip for just one night, and then feel guilty about breaching your own contract later on.
Hi Guys,
Mitch Here, back again.
Counselling went well. I said I would not drink when I knew I was coming home to my wife or at home when she was there. That was on 16th May. She went away that weekend and had half a bottle both nights of red wine after a couple of beers at the local bar. Ok, we agreed when she was away I could get a ‘reward’ so I did.
Since then I have mini cheated twice having two beers at my local bar and then reverting back to Cola so she wouldn’t be able to tell. Funnily enough I am too scared to have any more, as I don’t want to turn in to that monster when I have had three !
On the good side I haven’t drunk at home at all.
So this means my intake has dropped from about 45 a week to probably 4. This is less than the average person, which is great. I know I am heading in the right direction.
I am going to give you all an exercise to do which my counsellor gave me.
If you imagine your life from the age of 18 to now as a measuring tape, you have drunk maybe from 0 on the tape to 20 feet, that’s 20 years of drinking. Now imagine your 30 days off or whatever you are trying to do at the moment. That is a twelfth of a foot, one inch. Compare one inch to 20 feet… that’s why giving up isn’t easy, you have had 20 feet of practice being a brilliant drinker and in one inch you think it will all change ?
I know full stop that 2 drinks and I am Mitch, 3 and I am a monster with my wife ( no one else I might add, but remember you hurt the ones you love the most ) So for me, I take heart from the fact that my intake has dropped to 4 a week which is fine. Of course I know I have cheated twice but I am at the start of a long roasd towards that 20 feet mark.
I know it sounds silly but for me what is working is knowing that if I stay sober, I know she is away maybe once a month, so I will still get my reward !!!! Maybe in a few months i won’t need that thought anymore ???
Your thoughts everyone ? I am with you all and take heart from your words.
Oh and Dee, I am with you every step, I am willing you to win my friend. I KNOW it’s not easy, I still look at red wine with a loving expression, but I am starting to realise that my obsession with it is slowly beginning to fade.
I’ve been through all this before, 6 years ago. Now for the past year I have found myself drinking more and more and more. I never found the AA meetings helpful. I am however confused about everyone focusing on 30 days of not drinking – then go out and drink on day 31? Why bother? If you can get through 30 days, you should be able to go 31, 32,33…….
I want support to quit – not just stop. Maybe this forum isn’t for me.
Heidi,
Firstly Why are you drinking more and more ?
why do you drink ?
why can’t you stop do you think ?
We will support you all the way, but you need to give us something to work with first.
Hola Heidi…..
I came to this site and read all the blogs and felt right to post my days of sobriety along with my story….
I can’t speak for others so I won’t. For me.. starting with a goal of 30 days is good for me… I take it one day at a time…
I am not perfect! trust me..at 31 and 32 I plan on celebrating and staying sober…
I know that I love a glass of wine but I can not control the amount I have… and I don’t think i will ever figure it out..who know’s. For now staying sober and focusing on other more productive things is for me….
This site can be for you..for anyone that wants to stop, or is trying..or has..why not?
It feels so good to set a good example for my kids, to drive them places and be able to promote healthy lifestyle for them….
why would I want to mess that up…
smile
Dee
Mitch thank you for the posts.. they help a lot….
Sounds like your wife doesn’t mind when you drink it’s how much you drink and the person you become..
I am on the same boat…
I wish I could just have one glass
and enjoy it and keep it moving
but I can’t…
Stay Strong… and do what u can where you are with what you have..
we aren’t perfect human beings..
Dee
Today is day 6 for me…
I am feeling soooooooooooooo good…
I did want some wine yesterday but I think it was just out of boredom…
didn’t need it just felt like it…
I went shopping lol
came home and spoke to mom about my 6 days…
She said she has noticed a difference in my interaction with the kids… My relationship is also different. we didn’t argue one bit all week…
sweeetttt
let’s keep it going…. for you, fo rme… for our families…
Skye..we are still with you…
Hi Dee,
That’s great, that feeling I know so well, I could do with a wine right now…..
You know it’s a bit like losing a great friend. Imagine alcohol has been your best friedn for years and years, when they leave your life it’s like a loss, and as humans,i believe that we actually grieve it’s loss like a friend, so of course you think about it lots, that’s normal. Also you will grieve it, and miss it terribly, and that would be normal too if it was a real person. Like grief, the bad days slowly grow further apart as you ‘heal’ so you wanting some wine yesterday was a grieving day.
Day 6 though…. fantastic, very proud of you.
I was talking to my wife last night and I described her as ‘normal’ which is one glass or two with dinner, not even every day, more if the food deserved it ( not a cheese sandwich, pasta or steak you know ! ) then she goes out with the girls once every maybe 8 weeks, and probably has a couple too many. I told her that for me, I am trying to be ‘normal.’
That means two things to work on, my drinking and my anger issues. I understand that I have been bred and trained to drink from a big drinking family, and having had an abusive father ( not too bad, he got angry too, but I did get a few knocks which I have actually never done to anyone else ) so you see I was trained to drink, then to get arrogant and angry. I am learning from cutting down that you do crave it less and less, and if you understand that it was ‘normal’ back then to think about wine, especially at about 4pm as you were winding down from work, it is just as ‘normal’ to recognise it when it happens, and to do something else, hell yes go shopping if it works !!!
You didn’t argue all week, so already it’s better… maybe now is the time as you find the drink free life easier by the day, to find out why you got angry…. was it like me, that you saw your father dominate your mother verbally, so you did the same ? If so then like me, just decide to step out from the shadows and realise that you don’t NEED to ‘dominate’ or ‘control’ your wife ( I just wanted her to shut up and stop having a go at me or agree with me, whatever it was )… she will actually cut you more slack and be more inclined to meet you halfway about stuff. When you are sober you are generally not raising your voice you won’t get half as wound up if she tells you you’re an idiot for having a certain opinion !!!
Good luck, keep talking, and keep up the great work, it is also encouraging me to win !!
Hi Dee,
That’s great, that feeling I know so well, I could do with a wine right now…..
You know it’s a bit like losing a great friend. Imagine alcohol has been your best friend for years and years, when they leave your life it’s like a loss, and as humans,i believe that we actually grieve it’s loss like a friend, so of course you think about it lots, that’s normal. Also you will grieve it, and miss it terribly, and that would be normal too if it was a real person. Like grief, the bad days slowly grow further apart as you ‘heal’ so you wanting some wine yesterday was a grieving day.
Day 6 though…. fantastic, very proud of you.
I was talking to my wife last night and I described her as ‘normal’ which is one glass or two with dinner, not even every day, more if the food deserved it ( not a cheese sandwich, pasta or steak you know ! ) then she goes out with the girls once every maybe 8 weeks, and probably has a couple too many. I told her that for me, I am trying to be ‘normal.’
That means two things to work on, my drinking and my anger issues. I understand that I have been bred and trained to drink from a big drinking family, and having had an abusive father ( not too bad, he got angry too, but I did get a few knocks which I have actually never done to anyone else ) so you see I was trained to drink, then to get arrogant and angry. I am learning from cutting down that you do crave it less and less, and if you understand that it was ‘normal’ back then to think about wine, especially at about 4pm as you were winding down from work, it is just as ‘normal’ to recognise it when it happens, and to do something else, hell yes go shopping if it works !!!
You didn’t argue all week, so already it’s better… maybe now is the time as you find the drink free life easier by the day, to find out why you got angry…. was it like me, that you saw your father dominate your mother verbally, so you did the same ? If so then like me, just decide to step out from the shadows and realise that you don’t NEED to ‘dominate’ or ‘control’ your wife ( I just wanted her to shut up and stop having a go at me or agree with me, whatever it was )… she will actually cut you more slack and be more inclined to meet you halfway about stuff. When you are sober you are generally not raising your voice you won’t get half as wound up if she tells you you’re an idiot for having a certain opinion !!!
Good luck, keep talking, and keep up the great work, it is also encouraging me to win !!
Wow Mitch I never thought of the fact that I did see my father verbally abuse my mother everytime he drank. It was a parade started from the beginning of the drive way all the way to our apartment.
I got angry at her for not being able to relax, enjoy herself…. She is like military aorund here..I have two teens.. great kids but somtimes they act like teens. I drank to relax, sometimes to get away from the stress of the household…maybe even from our own problems that we have….I have battled bulimia off and on for a few yrs and sometimes drinking made me feel in control… weird…
I am looking forward to being the best woman I can be….
well.. a glass of wine sounds soo good right now
:)
Dee
Guys,
Sorry I have been away… I had one hell of a test the past week or so. I had 3 days of Racing which usually meant 3 days of sailing/drinking followed by three nights of parties. I made it through with flying colors. Those around me were somewhat amazed.
To whomever it was who asked why 30 days. For me it is a 30 day commitment that will probably lead to another 30 days… then maybe 5 more 30 days, and so on. WHen I began my 30 days ( 13 days ago) 30 days seemed so dificult, today it seems like it will be over in no time. Back when I started quiting entirely seemed near impossible. Now, it seems almosy refreshing.
It is getting easire, almost fun. I watch people around me get drunk and out of control and I think ..”wow was that me?” and of course it was.
At first people were uncomfortable drinking around me.. but after weathering the early storm, it is almost like there is no difference. It is even a little fun being the sober guy, the voice of reason, the … no thanks I don’t drink guy. People think I am strong. Before I thought I was weak. What a difference.
Tomorrow will be two weeks ( practically 1/2 way there) Not so bad after all SO Mitch and Dee keep it up. SO much to gain, so little to loose.
I know what the obvious thing to do is – quit cold turkey. I drink everyday and even though some days its one drink, I usually get buzzed a couple of times a week. I drink wine mostly. It’s fattening and I can’t stop once I start on certain days – I might have 2 glasses of wine during the week.
I’ve started putting one jigger of vodka in a glass of seltzer and that seems to satisfy me and is not as fattening as wine. I stop at one. For some reason, when I come home from work I like to have a drink. Once I have that drink, I’m fine. I’m not shaking – its not that. I just love to sit down with a glass of wine or a vodka drink or sometimes a beer and unwind. I love the ambience of sitting at a bar and wouldn’t mind stopping for a drink on the way home. The thought crosses my mind, but I’m a teacher and get done between 2 and 3. Yet that is the time when I like to drink – in the late afternoon.
I am trying to lose about 15 lbs and have always had an addictive personality. It used to be sex, pot, then I was a marathon runner, now I’ve started drinking the last few years. If I can keep it at one a day to unwind, does that make me an alcoholic. I’ve wanted to stop. I still run and when I run, I certainly don’t want to drink. I just love to sit down with a drink and unwind. I can stop at one, but I would like to stop for 30 days. My kids have expressed that they think my drinking could become a problem and my little one says I act silly when I drink too much. What does the rest of the world do. Is having one drink OK and never going beyond that limit? Could I do that for the rest of my life and would that be acceptable. I don’t know anyone that admits they have a problem. I’ve always grappled with indulgence. I have stress at home, but so does everyone. My job has become less stressful and I actually enjoy when I’m there. But when I get home, there’s pressure to be the perfect mother to a couple of grown boys who are almost out of the house.
im 20 and i have gotten to the point where i drink about 10 beers a night. im spending around 50 dollars a week on beer and i dont go out ever i only drink at home and its cheap beer. like 3-4 30 packs a week. im pretty sure i am going to quit as i have before for a few months the longest i stopped was like 5 months. just because your young doesn’t mean you cant have a problem with it because we can handle the hangover a little bit better that always gets worse with age. i have heard that chocolate/sweets is a good way to get rid of cravings which makes sense, the last time i quit i remembered i ate alot of ice cream and drank alot of greentea as like a substitution.
I have been having a hard time the last 3 days.
I want to be able to enjoy a drink and have convinced myself that I can stop at one. Yet I haven’t taken a drink… guilt maybe…
I feel like if I try to control it I will fail my father, mother and partner.
I know I don’t want to stop just want to be able to control the intake.
Maybe I need to go get me some ice cream…lots of chocolate.
I have been very moody…
Right now I am so sad with my thoughts..
Maybe I should not have said anything to anyone… and just tried to control it…
I am rying hard to stay strong..
Dee
Sun if you can stop at one great…Having oe a day doesn’t make u an alcoholic in my opinion who knows what the experts say…
I miss coming home and having that first drink..or going to lunch and having a glass of wine….
I can tell my partner is disgusted when I mention I want a drink… which then pisses me offffffffffffffffff….
Commit to 30 days – yes thats the key.
After a boozy weekend with a friend staying over my wife asked me to quit alcohol for a month. I’m on day 27 so far and seeing as its Sunday now I think I have the 30 days nailed.
I read somewhere else that it takes about three weeks to get the habit out of your system and thats how it was for me – on the 3rd weekend I still missed it – friday and saturday, but this weekend the 4th was the first where I’m not really bothered.
I have drawn out now a list of pros and cons for drinking and for me the list is heavily weighted on the cons so I have decided to abstain for a year if not for good. I set a goal of a year in order that I can explore ways to replace the fun I got drinking. I’ve got agreement from my wife that if I made a year I could spend the cash saved on a small boat with an outboard.
You need to adjust your life a lot. For me I’ve started exploring a lot of films I never used to get round to renting and I eat really well now. Esecially at the weekends we cook restaurant quality food on Fridays and Saturdays. Fresh prawns, trout, fresh cream deserts the lot. I plan to go theme parks, get out on my bike an get fit again and find other things to fill my life.
You will on occasion in the first few weeks feel miserable for one evening or two where you used to drink but the upside is waking up on a Sunday morning really fresh without a hangover for change and a whole day ahead to do stuff. After a while you don’t think about less and less. Its only the same as women quit for a pregnancy – after a while they don’t miss it. You can start enjoy the short term benefits as well as the long terms reasons you should give up. You need to fill the times you used to drink with something else – cinema, hobbies etc
I now feel a lot more relaxed than I felt before week 4. I’m sleeping better and I feel more sociable to talk to the neighbours etc. There are lots of upsides and I believe you will be a more confident person overall if you quick. I agree that short-term confidence ruins the long term personal progression. Its great when your in your late teens early 20s but beyond that there has to be a point where your not getting anything out of it anymore.
I told all my friends I was giving up for a while as the cons outweighed the pros and I was avoiding evenings out for a while but could still meet for lunchtime meals and midday events out. In a couple of weeks we have a pool evening but I won’t be tempted to break my rule and lose the boat. If I dont particulary enjoy it without booze I wont do it again.
Some friends said it was a good idea and some weren’t so supportive. It must be more difficult if you are single – if you are get down the speed-dating venue like I did two years ago and find a mate! Hopefully one like the Malaysian girl I found who doesnt drink much.
I’m not sure after a year I would maybe like to have a drink over lunch ocasionally but not in the evenings – I’m going to possibly trial that. I’ll probably set another goal of another present to myself based on that. I that doesnt work I’ll quit altogther.
Best of luck to you all.
… if any of you guys feel anxiety when not drinking exercise is the best thing – build it up from nothing very slowly at first (whilst you are still drinking if necessary) but when you are really fit – like can run for 30+ mins you won’t feel anything like anxiety – your body changes in time. drink itself is bringing on the anxiety
All;
I am in 3 days into my 3rd week ( or 17 days behind me ) My wife is so thrilled. I must admit, my personality is dramitically different. I am calmer, far less iritable, and have so much more energy. It really isn’t that bad. If you are here becasue you are considering it…go for it. You will be proud of yourself if you do. I spent week after week, drinking at lunch saying to myself, I gotta stop this..instead one glass turned into two, sometimes three. In an hour. Of course I was useless all afternoon.
My bit of advice for the few who wrote here recently is do not look at it as if you are missing out by not drinking. You’re not really missing anything. If you go out to parties, have a glass of tonic with a lime in it. It really is the same feeling, without the buzz.
I still have only comitted to the 30 days for myself, but as each day passes, I am thinking maybe another 30 days.
According to my calculations, I spent about $650 per month on wine on average. Maybe even more, but no less…thats for sure. I like the idea of bribing myself with that $$$. I think the first month is for me health.. If I go month 2.. I will make a promise to buy myself something with all that extra money.
Good luck all… for once being a quiter is a good thing.
Today is my first day & I’m very scared. Does anyone have any tips?
Hola Shannan,
Go an fill the time that you would be drinking with something productive…
stay focused and keep thinking of the reasons why you commited to 30 days….
Dee
this is also my first night as well. I decided to stop a few days ago and i slowed down my intake of alcohol the last few nights, ( i still had some left) cuz i heard if u quit cold turkey you could end up on a binge. I noticed before that eating healthy things and drinking alot of different juices helps. whey protein is good too, it really fills you up.
Shannon and JohnQ
I think the most important thing to do is keep yourself busy those first few days and hang around with someone who knows what you are doing. Make yourself accountable to someone, it will help alot.
You might even take some natural herb like melatonin the first night or two if you are accustomed to having a few too many then passing out, it might help. also, keep a few notes of what you are htinking and feeling and then share them here tomorrow. You will look back in a week or two and realize how far you have come.
Good luck to you both… you can do it,
Check in tomorrow, we are all waiting to hear how your first nights went.
I just happened to run across this article and read the posts.. I’m like yall and have been partying since I was like 16 years old.. I’m 30 now and it’s only gotting worse.. I have a good time while doing it like everyone else, but recently my attitude is starting to change. I have allready lost one marriage and i’m close to losing a very special girlfriend. I start arguing over stupid stuff and insulting a woman whom loves me more than a new pair of shoes.. I quit drinking last year for some 5 weeks or so.. I just didnt do it even though there was two beers in the fridge for that entire period. I consider myself a mentally strong guy and after reading all of this, I think i need to reconsider the view I have of myself. I never considered myself an alcoholic as I dont feel like it has me.. But hmm.. I drink daily. I see guys on here whom drink daily or less than that calling themselves and alcoholic.. Although it hurts,. I’m ready to admit and make a change to better my life. I complain about spoiled milk when I’m actually spending 500+ a month on my girl and I to go out. She does it cause It’s my rush.. So i’d estimate I spend a good 30% of my income going out and partying. and 20% on entertainment. She asked my why I was so upset reading these posts and I said that my social interaction is limited to booze and liquor.. That’s because I am a divorced displaced 30 year old veteran living 1400 miles from my hometown.. I chose this life for her and I dont have many local friends… So the only people that I generally associate with are a wide range of people that frequent bars. So i never really have seen a problem. I might add that I did go to AA while in the military and I agree that it doesnt feel like the environment for me.. But i’m determined to do anything to save my relationship and keep a wonderful woman in my life. After all.. All I have without her is my job, and my bar friends and my drink.. Dee I like the way you put it.. bored = drink.. excitement = drink.. ect.. And John B I have not seen a message from you lately, I’m hoping that you succeeded..
Thanks for the vent..
I want to quit drinking and here’s the thing…I didn’t drink until about a year ago. My boyfriend of 7 years drank all the time and never gave attention to me…just the people he drank with. So I started drinking; now I find myself drinking on a daily basis. Although I don’t believe in hereditary drinking habits…my mom, dad, grandparents, etc., all had alcoholism and I believe I am falling into the trap as well…I would like some advice on how to stop this eratic behaviour and some support as well because I feel like I don’t have enough supports…If anyone can offer some good tips to at least stop drinking on a daily basis…please email them to kruds_gurl
@hotmail.com…I really would like to stop drinking a lot and just drink on an occasional (maybe once a month) basis. Thank you for your support
Heather,
Having not had a drink now for almost 3 weeks, I can tell you that old habits can be broken, very effectivley. I do not know if you can drink a little… I suspect that if you try you will suceed for a while maybe indefinately. But more than likely you will end up right back where you left off. I would suggest stopping entirely for the 30 days, as most of us here are doing and then decide what you are able and or want to do after that. The small challenge of the 30 days is something we can percieive… imagining that we will never drink again seems insurmountable.
Jebadiah, For myself, having nearly 75% of my 30 day challenge behind me, I can say I may never drink again. 3 weeks ago, that is a concept I could not even fathom. I have been to at least 6 social functions, I mean parties in that 3 weeks and I am living proof, life does go on without alcohol. At first my friends, were curious, almost even uncomfortable.( actually 1 was actually angry with me) Today, I can say that I have influenced at least 3 people to challenge their drinking and make significant changes (and I never said a word, I just quit for my own well being) I was influencing them to drink more, now I am influencing them to drinkl less.
One more thought, if your only friends currently are bar friends, maybe you need to find some new hobbies. There is a social group for any sport in teh world in every town on teh planet. Pick one and join.
I feel great, so glad I woke up again with a clear mind and all kinds of energy
dodger
Hello all………
I feel like a failure…
My sister came by on sunday and I had 4 sips of her beer….
I was rebelling against just not being able to control it and enjoy one drink…all weekend I was resenting my partner for being so in control with her drinking and therefore started thinking I could control… I feel like I failed all of you too that stood by supporting me..and read my posts…
I guess I need to start my 30 days again… geesh I got so far what was it 12 days grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I’m sorry….. please stay stronger if you are doing the 30 days for starters…
Dee
Dee,
Don’t beat yourself up… it is not the end of it. Just keep counting, you’re doing great
Thank U Dodger
Dee,
Compare what you have done…12 days..and you had 4 sips of beer. thats like 1 sip every 3 days. Not bad…. not bad at all.
Remember, you can have a drink anytime you want. No one is stoping you. You have every right. This is YOUR choice not to drink. Choose today to take no sips and celebrate the past 13 days.
So I am curious, do you think you will start drinking again at the 31st day?
Dodger
Dodge to answer you in all honesty right now I feel like I won’t. I know I shouldn’t because like you posted earlier, it may seem like we are in control but really how long will it last.
I am shooting to stay sober as long as my will, will take me…
Summer is coming and I am scared… But I did it one summer why not again….
I have to keep thinking positive.. and staying strong….
To all that need that extra push. I am on my email all day and if you need that extra push or just need to vent you can email me at willtobestrong@yahoo.com I am sure it will help me as much as it will help you.