Update (Sep 4, 2010): Due to the overwhelming, and ongoing popularity of this post (over 22,000 comments and counting!), I’ve recently started working on a new tool to make tracking and sharing your progress quitting drinking a whole lot easier and more fun.
It’s called Quitfest. Please feel free to check it out!
There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
– Terry Pratchett
My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. It’s for this reason that I can’t remember my grandpa’s funeral: I was only four. This is also why my grandma has meticulously avoided alcohol for over 20 years. If there’s anything to the rumours about alcoholism being influenced by heredity, I’m probably tagged.
My own consumption patterns change. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of several months having three or four drinks, three to five times a week. Sometimes I’ll restrict my consumption to social occasions. For about five months starting last December, in my quest to master the art of talking to strangers, my social life became two full-time jobs. I was constantly going out to social events, clubs, bars, museum parties, and everything in between. Despite temptation, I rarely drank.
Last month, I quit drinking alcohol again. I’d like to tell you that it was a struggle. I’d like to pretend that it’s almost impossible to stay sober at a social occasion where everyone else is burping bubbles. I’d like to imagine myself as more determined and disciplined than all the rest, and that’s what pulled me through.
But the truth is that I’m ruthlessly normal. And if you want to end your relationship with alcohol, right here, right now, It’s Not That Hard.
I’m guessing that most people who choose to quit drinking are not alcoholics. My intent is to offer here an action plan that anyone can apply, whether you’re nursing an addiction or just want to enjoy the benefits of uninterrupted sobriety.
Why Stop Drinking?
The long-term effects of bad habits are rarely sufficient to motivate people to change their lives. The near-term benefits of giving up alcohol are much more useful and interesting anyway. Here are the changes I experienced:
- Productive socializing. Talking to strangers is a great way to build character, but its benefits are greatly reduced when you’re drunk. The alcohol represses much of the social anxiety, which inhibits lasting change. But the only thing more terrifyingly fun than getting drunk and meeting a bunch of new people is staying sober and meeting a bunch of new people.
- Avoid the McPilgrimage. Clearly, there’s a conspiracy between the fast food industry and the liquor industry. Free will collapses under the weight of insobriety and convenience. With enough alcohol in your system, even the most wretched burger joint becomes an irresistible sanctuary.
- Reclaim lost time. Let’s say you have a few drinks around the house, three times a week, and that light touch of drunkenness costs you three hours of productive thinking each time. Within one year, you’ll have shaved about one full month off your life. That’s a lot of lost CPU time that could have been put towards reading a book, writing a speech, playing a sport, or even starting a business. And this doesn’t even count the time lost waiting for your brain to resolidify the morning after a night on the town.
- Get rich quickly. You don’t have to party that hard to spend $100-$150/week or more on alcohol and related expenses. If you quit drinking today, you could reasonably expect to convert that choice into a bankroll for backpacking around the world in about six months.
- Become an early riser. I’m currently readjusting my sleep schedule to wake up at 5:30 AM, seven days a week. Alcohol, and the lifestyle that often accompanies it, work against this process. Alcohol makes me feel tired when I want to feel energetic and awake. Ironically, it also increases wakefulness during sleep.
You can probably think of other instantly gratifying benefits to life beyond the bottle. The important thing is to actually have a reason that is important enough to you.
Make It Priority Number One
Giving up alcohol is one of the easiest and hardest changes you can make in your life.
It’s easy once you’ve established the right rules, configured your environment to support you, and set up useful boundaries of pain and pleasure to help direct you towards your goal. The hard parts are the social implications and fighting off the One Man Army that is your ego, with its barrage of self-limiting beliefs and drink requests.
Giving up alcohol must be made priority number one in your life. A partial commitment is a commitment to failure. Even if you already don’t drink that often, it will be tempting to break your own rules when your friends call you up and invite you out. You’ve got to be willing to prioritize this decision in every situation where it’s relevant, even when that means Just Saying No to pub night.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Ever notice how some people act as though the end of their relationship is the end of the world? It’s as if there’s no point in living if they can’t be with that person any longer. Yet other people come along and date that person who left them, eventually break up with them, and see it as hardly more than a blip on the radar.
You may feel that it’s pretty easy to give up drinking. Or you may feel that it’s an addiction with a stranglehold on your life. Either way, there is no inherent magnitude to this task. It’s as big or as small as you make it.
No matter how much you want to tell yourself how hard it is, nobody’s ever going to claim that learned helplessness was the secret to their success. The most effective way forward is to not only make quitting drinking a top priority, but to think, talk, and act like it can be done.
Become the Impartial Spectator
Whether you view it as a spiritual separation, or merely conceptual, we all have more than one self. There’s the “Mmmmm…beeeer…” self, and the impartial spectator that can detach from and observe this desire.
Let the latter voice be your authority. You’re allowed to want a drink as much as you’re allowed to choose not to have one. There’s tremendous power in observing your thoughts as a third party. The impartial spectator can feel the heat without getting burned.
When in doubt, let it be there. No matter how bad the storm seems, it will pass.
Commit to 30 Days
If you’ve never done it before, it can be hard to think of giving up drinking forever. It’s discouraging to commit to permanent change, only to back out a few days or weeks into it. Some people will face social friction and lifestyle changes for which they’re unprepared.
But life is a laboratory. It’s an adventure that takes shape through hypothesis and experimentation, and most decisions can be reverted. When it comes to making big changes like this, live before you leap. Promise yourself that you will commit to this 100%, but only for 30 days, and see how it goes.
This is exactly what I did last month. I promised myself that November would be alcohol-free, and it was. Truth be told, I had a few drinks on day 31. But I broke the negative pattern that was creeping up on me and gained back the energy to spend on more important activities. And I’ve repeatedly proven to myself that I can give up alcohol whenever I feel like, whenever it seems like the right thing to do.
Dump Your Existing Stash
Any goal that’s important to you is important enough to start on right now. My 30-day challenge to give up alcohol started at about 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had just gotten back from a post-nightclub McPilgrimage with some friends. I had a great time. I met lots of people. I even ended up dating a girl I met that night.
But I was really annoyed by how much I’d poured into me that night, at succumbing to the resulting Big Mac temptation, and at how much I was going to regret the hangover. As soon as I got home, the challenge was on. I had one last beer in my fridge, which I ceremoniously poured down the kitchen sink.
If you’re serious about doing this, get rid of your alcohol. If you’ve got $300 worth of spirits in your cabinet and you’re not yet sure if you want to empty it all down the drain, only to change your mind in 30 days, then store it at a friend’s place during your probation period. Preferably a friend that doesn’t drink.
Advertise Your Decision
I told most of my friends about what I was doing. Not only only does this add accountability to your goal, it also drops the hint that if your friends are planning on going out and getting wasted, you’re probably not interested.
Of course, you don’t have to avoid social situations where you’ll be the only one not drinking. I’ve gone out stone sober many times–even on my own–and met loads of people. Once you get used to social skydiving, you no longer need alcohol’s permission to talk to strangers and have a good time. You can get to that place by either getting hammered out of your face, or by learning to just not care what other people think. Frankly, the latter is way more fun.
Fire Your Drinking Buddies
Alcohol may be so tightly integrated into your social life that it seems almost impossible to go an entire weekend without drinking. If the only thing you have in common with your friends is that you like the same lagers, you might want to consider finding new friends.
I’ve let go of people in my social circle before and I know it’s not easy–but that doesn’t make it unnecessary. This might be the hardest thing you do in choosing a life without alcohol. The key is to remember that friends are an abundant resource. Having a strong social circle is purely a function of the effort you invest into it. That includes choosing to associate only with people who are aligned with your purpose, while avoiding the energy vampires.
This is another benefit of a 30-day commitment. Instead of permanently downsizing your social life, you can choose to be busy only for the next few weeks. Observe how it affects you when you stop spending time with your beer buddies. Join a local user group for something you’re interested in to bring yourself into contact with people with whom you share more than just a bar tab.
Bribe Yourself
I haven’t used this specific technique for giving up alcohol, but I have used it with much success in bulldozing my way through a wall of social anxiety.
Associate massive pain to backing out. To create that pain, visit your nearest bank machine. Withdraw an amount of money that you’d feel uncomfortable losing. Give it to a friend you trust. Tell them that you get your money back if, and only if, you don’t have a drop of alcohol until your 30 days are up. You’ll be surprised at how even the most difficult tasks become doable when you associate massive pain to breaking your own rules. Money can be a great way to make it hurt. If you can think of an even better form of self-bribery, go for it.
The stronger you feel that alcohol is a part of your life, the more of these techniques you may want to apply. My most recent alcohol-free challenge didn’t require bribery or letting go of any friends. But I did find it extremely useful to limit the challenge to 30 days, to give myself permission to live the lifestyle before leaping to a permanent decision.
I also think that making this a top priority is key, no matter what your current consumption habits. It’s so easy to let yourself slip for just one night, and then feel guilty about breaching your own contract later on.
Val:: johan:: yeah, watching LOST sober might ruin the series for me. You see, I had a system in previous seasons. Watch it live, horizontal and squinting out of one eye, then watch the replay the following evening squinting out of the other.
Jeanne1:: good to hear you’re getting back to your old self healing wise, on both the hip rehab and sobriety fronts.
RRRat:: I follow you notes about Mom with a lot of interest. We’re just entering that realm with my mother in law.
still scared about losing my job to the lay off around the corner but i think with every day i am getting stronger and feel that i will recover quickly as long as i stay on this path of sobriety and working on my self in positive thinking – A lot of good thoughts that everyone has posted – it is funny that those lyrics from that Eagles song seems so much more profound now -huh? Evolution!Evolution! and we must all evolve!
Val – thank you! I am glad you qualified it with “in sobriety though, that I CAN do! (See below.)
RRRat – now that’s funny, and certainly no offense taken here! I could tell you about my first and only downhill ski adventure but suffice it to say (and as disturbing as it sounds) I just might make a better ski bunny. it seemed like a good idea to drink and smoke left handers in the morning prior to strapping ski boots on for the first time. I did get onto it once I realized the difference between the skill level markers….
Aries Mom–2 thumbs up for what you wrote to Annie, my thoughts exactly. She HAS taken stock and has decided to give back. I cannot imagine what was on the list of why not to do this volunteer work. Now, 2 thumbs down on the glass of wine at the dinner party. You have been there and done that several times. Try the experiment of going without!!! That’s the experiment you have not conducted…and if you have, try going without twice, and if you’ve done that, try going without thrice. Read MY posts…see how the experments work out. 7 months of trying and I have not kicked the demon yet. Ask Scout, MJ, Richard, Carol, Peppermint, they have watched me since June. It takes no strength to have a glass of wine this weekend. It only takes strength NOT to. I have the Super Bowl this weekend. 2 all day parties and I live in New Orleans. I am praying that I make it. I don’t want you to drink. If you have a choice, prove it by chosing not to drink. Otherwise, it wasn’t a choice. It is an addiction. (I just don’t want to see you where I am).
Val-here is my lastes about the depression/panic attacks. My friends don’t want me to feel bad about myself in any way. They sort of felt that if I could forgive myself for drinking I wouldn’t be so depressed. If I could just not see it a wrong, I would not feel so guilty. However, first, anything that has physical consequences is no longer right or wrong by choice. If I am hurting my body, I have to be doing something wrong.
Next, we have to have a memory to learn from our past and to relive great moments that give us hope and strength in the present to tackle our futures. However, we also have to have memory to learn from mistakes. In order to survive, God has placed a filter on us that inhibits certain behaviors, feelings and memories. If alcohol “disinhibits” us it also releases inhibited emotions, thoughts, memories, that have the strength to make us feel terribly bad. That was happening to me. The mornings after I drink, I replay the line I forgot in the school play, the time I re-gifted something and got caught, the order I forgot when I was a waitress, the fact that I am in dept, etc, etc…all things that are not worth remembering or works in progress that I have already dealt with. I could not control it and it was very painful. We cannot choose what becomes disinhibited when we drink so we make ourselves vulnerable to being bombarded by everything bad our pasts, the demon, can throw at us. I was waking up suicidal on a daily basis. What a crappy way to PAY to live when being sober is free.
Jeanne1 and Annie–didn’t we start together a while back? We’re close to on the same page again? Do I have that right?
Grayson–you certainly have come a long way! You’ve been through some stuff in this past year if I recall correctly.
DryHeat–so glad you are still onboard!
EMMA LEX WHERE ARE YOU?
Dear Annie; I am excited for your plans – what a gift to give the Universe and yourself – only a drunk would be negative and selfish about your life path – I am proud to know you
Key; that is an excellent example of disinhibition – all the crap that the day after hurls in our faces – I will remember that
Sunday all us Islanders need to gather at the TWIT where the guys set up a wide screen TV with extra speakers and lots of good n/a drinks and snacks are arriving on Sat and the weather report promises to be awesome – there are lots of seats available and the fun will go on and on
see you all there??
STAY love, carol xoxoxo
Aries Mum. Be extremely careful with experimenting with a “little alcohol”. During the last 7 months I have had 4 very small glasses of wine in total. It occurs when I am out to dinner in some official function, and we have wine. I am too much of a wimp to say no thank you, so I have a little. I am very conscious when I do this and I use extreme caution. It will be too late to buy any liquor after dinner, and I have none at home. And I only take so little (1/2 glass) that it does not induce any urge. Avoid it if you can. I will try just to say no thanks next time.
Key and John, thank you thank you for the advice. Will heed it all. I think I may have to call an audible saturday evening because I just can’t say where my head is going to be at going into it until I actually get there. I will do my darndest to stay focused though. ;)
Carol- I making Wings! see ya there
Carol-See you at TWIT’s. I wouldn’t trade the freedom I have at this point in my life for even a drop. Being a drunk isn’t romantic or pretty. Like I said before, this is hard work and I don’t want to blow it. If I have anxiety these days it is real and for a reason… It’s source does not come from some dang liquid poison.
We all learn from your words, Key. Thanks. Talk at you later.
Love,
Peppermint
I could really use a tropical breeze and a day on the beach. I miss the sunshine and the groundhog failed. At least I have this Island as my paradise.
XOXOXO
Hello all…This is going to be very long.
The past few days I have been going over the posts from the past month and I have compiled some memorable quotes from many of you that have helped me on this journey. Here are a few….
“Wasted nights and days drinking, wasted money, wasted memory, wasted quality time, wasted body & brain, hurt relationships with family and friends. Drinking has ceased being my friend. I need to keep remembering that. …I think if you found this great place you have the potential to put the brakes on now. You might play with partial sobriety and find it works for you or, like myself and many here, you may realize quickly, or not so quickly, that you need to quit, for good, while you still can. I never realized how good it would feel to reach this point and even though life keeps hurling obstacles at me, I’m more prepared to handle them” -River Rat-
“My pain is in knowing I haven’t really been alive the last 10 years. I’m 100% certain I’ve missed things, relationships, experiences I could have had if I’d been sober or not too hung-over to make an effort. It feels like I’m trapped under a heavy blanket. I can’t see, hear or feel much of anything until I get out from under it. All I want right now is to see the beginning” -Val-
“I feel different, emotionally. I actually feel like I’ve grown up, yet retained the playfulness of a kid. Hard to explain, except to say I am not the same person I was a month ago, and I don’t ever expect to be that person again. The change has been too profound and peaceful and serene to make me want to go back….Focus on what you’re gaining. Each hour takes you closer to this wonderful exhilarating sense of freedom and incredible self-respect that you just aren’t going to have if you give in. Try this one at the bar: ‘Sorry, guys, but this is a contemplative journey to seek my inner spirit and find a place of peace, so I’ll just have a lime and soda thanks…’” –Annie-
“I tend to believe that we among all living things possess this talent for picturing ourselves elsewhere, for creating scenarios full of promise and good love and we should take full advantage of what this can offer….Remember all, to be incredibly kind to yourselves as this does indeed take courage. For many a sort of courage that those surrounding you may not ever need to reach for or may not understand. So, take heart. Remember that you aren’t alone. Begin dreaming a bit, imagine yourself there – living a life that is full to the brim. We all can do it, this imagining.” – Scout-
“The first drink or two is great and then it is all downhill from there. Sleepless nights-anxiety during the day. A feeling that there is no way out and then the day finally comes when you wake up determined to stop the pattern. I did this over and over again until maybe it has finally sunk in and I am going to get it right. Is it freedom at last? Do tell”.
-Peppermint-
“Here on the island you will never be alone. You’ll have friends pulling for you, praying for you and encouraging you every step of the way; through the highs and the lows. Together, we are stronger; together we can all learn to live again… Abraham Lincoln said: ‘Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ I love that saying. Try to remember all you newcomers; You have incredible strength inside of you that you haven’t even tapped yet. If that vat of fortitude seems a bit low right now, come to the island, close your eyes, listen to the waves pound the shore, soak up the sun and read all of the posts you need until that vat begins to refill… All the rationalities, excuses and good reasons in the world for drinking are all only temporary. The harsh morning light almost always recognizes the lie. Today you have made a wonderful discovery. We are here for you. Whether it be today, tomorrow or anytime, we will be holding your hand and praying for you”. – -Mara-
“Ultimately once we become sober and realize that we can win this fight the recriminations begin as to why we did this to ourselves and loved ones for so long. All the times we let ourselves and others down becomes clear to see. For me has been frightening, but I think as human beings we have learnt to question everything and so have progressed in many areas but it has also led us to try things for ourselves and not listen to those who are perhaps wiser.I feel this is not the time for recriminations and post mortems, this is the time to celebrate and feel proud and look forward to a new brighter future, the time to plan the next twenty years is today.”
-Kamam-
“I greedily consume from every single post, every single day, from everyone here regardless of number of days, and doing so as delivered me to a place I didn’t think I would see… This site is a combination of many small things working in unison, but mostly it is a gathering place for like minded souls who share a sadly common challenge. It is a safe place to open up, knowing that because we are all ‘tainted’ in some way there will be no persecution, labeling, or ridicule as is the norm on the ‘mainland’! We found this oasis while looking for the ‘magic cure’ to a life sucking situation; the reality
is the cure lives inside all of us, waiting to be awakened and nurtured. The strengths and weaknesses we all share anonymously are ties that bind us, and knowing that we are not alone provides each of us the courage to look for our own inner strength, and to explore what life can offer us, instead of merely existing. How, or if we use this strength is up to each us!” -Johan-
“My goal is not to make it through the day sober. It is to continue being more positive, more organized, healthier, more grateful, more calm, and more accountable. To do all this, I must not drink alcohol. That is the key for me…you need to decide what works best for you. There is a ton of great advice in this blog to learn from, and a second-to-none support system when you need strength.”. – Aries Mom-
“Alcohol provides no lasting help. We all know that postponement is no solution; quite to the contrary, things mostly get worse. Alcohol does not make you grow – facing and handling problems does. And we all know the problems it creates in the long run. Using alcohol is the quick, temporary solution that leaves more problems in its wake. To use a rather colorful metaphor I heard a while ago: It is like pissing in your pants on a cold winter’s day – it warms you at first, but you regret it later.”
– John-
“I got home from work raring to drink for one night only. Unknown to me, my girlfriends kid (Aidan, who is 5 yrs old) had seen my 30 pack in the fridge before I arrived home and took it out and hid it. I asked where my beer was and Aidan told me that I don’t drink “cold ones” anymore. Aidan told me he threw them out. Needless to say, I didn’t have anything to drink and spent the night playing Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo Wii instead. This, 5 year old, saved me from a weak moment and now I am in full throttle to continue on with my sobriety! Moments like that are priceless indeed! Thank you Aidan. You are my World!” -Grayson-
“I know that first, I must learn to love myself and I intend to work hard on that one. This will be a life-changing journey that will make me a stronger and ultimately a better person. I have to believe in this. It’ll be nice to finally have control over my life instead of letting alcohol control me. No one said it was an easy road, but at least I’m now aware and taking positive and decisive steps to be the person I want to be…a sober person with her feet on the ground and no clouds in her head. I wish you all another day of sobriety. They are not going to be all good days, but at least they will be insightful days which will lead to periods of real growth. But I do ultimately believe that we will have more good days”. – Maryg-
“I truly believe the reason we think we have a problem is because we truly do. That little voice is God’s way of protecting us. I ask God daily to help me give up this demon and so far he has done just that! Thank you Lord! I hope you all have a great alcohol free day and if you don’t just brush yourself off and start again tomorrow!”
“Lifestyle Change in Progress!”
– Kimie-
“You hang around the island long enough, those virtual relationships ‘do’ develop – which is why sometimes, we fall back (and depend) on ‘em’. Sometimes we’re remise in not giving enough time to developing the new ones.…but loving all the new starts by recent castaways here. You’ve washed up in a good spot and once we get past the rush of all our new year resolutions and euphoria, know we’ll settle in to the work at hand and chatting”. -MJ-
“To all my island friends- Enjoy waking up refreshed in the morning! I have been starting to take that for granted- I need to remind myself that it wasn’t always so- There is nothing like waking up happy, healthy and ready for adventure. With all the hardship in the world we are blessed to be where we are, let’s make the most of it. Go outside and take a walk – deep breathe and count your blessings.” -Faith-
It sure feels good to live with integrity. I bless this day that has been given to me to live. May I live it to the fullest in thanks for this gift of life and the Present. I have the free will to make the most of this day. –D-
“When you need to talk to yourself about yourself just remember that you ARE a survivor and a thriver – Keep On Keeping On and the sun shines even when it rains” -Carol-
There are so many more that I have not listed and great wisdom from so many of you out there.
Today is day 30 for me and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Have a Great Day and God Bless
G
Oh George….the biggest hug in the universe coming your way.
With deep and profound thanks, and highest respect to you.
Annie
xxx
I’m just sitting here reading your posts after an especially trying day (not the drinking, it’s my mother-in-law with dementia) and I can’t help thinking, what a hell of a lot of love floating around this space! What a great bunch of people you all are. I love the caring and the profound gratitude sent across the emails from country-to- country, from person-to-person, and from heart-to-heart. Pretty awesome stuff! No matter what the circumstances, it’s good that respect for one another is always present.
I have nothing further to add today. Just a wee bit exhausted from life and very grateful to have this site to fall back on when times are difficult for whatever the reason.
Big hugs and love to all,
Mary
Thankyou all of you, for your lovely supportive posts regarding my trip away. I read and took on board every single one. I’m actually looking at the possibility THIS year of teaching English in Nepal for a few weeks. It depends on my roster at work, mostly, but also if I would be accepted by the people I want to go through, Global Volunteer Network.
But thanks again, it was really so nice to get such lovely thoughts and wishes. It means a lot.
Key, yes, I think we are about the same…if you mean did we start about the same time last year? I did 30 days in April last year but had several attempts since then…even managed 23 days at one stage. If you mean now, then I’m on Day 5.
John, I was interested in your experience as an occasional/ special occasions drinker. Thanks for sharing it :-)
Carol, I smiled at your story about your sister. It was kind of a wry smile. My relative is getting much, much worse. Despite the humour in some situations, it is really pretty sad. I’m not sure if I told you that I allegedly took and hid a tablecloth about four years ago *eye roll* but luckily for me I managed to sneak it back into the house and hide it away in a drawer under her bed. I’m sure she thinks I have a problem.
Just finished an exam today – one more paper out of the way! Doing some extra law papers this year, so that should be fun.
Take care all
Annie
Oh Maryg…fancy that! While I was writing about my mother-in-law who has dementia, you’re writing about yours! Snap! I feel your pain. xxx
I’m struggling a little today, so back for another helping of spinach. So much honesty and so much to think about. First, Gypsie, I like that you’re planning for a quick recovery instead of a disaster. I think it makes a difference.
key, it sounds like you’re really digging deep. I love what Peppermint said “if I have anxiety these days, its for real.”
Aries Mom, one thing John said last week really stood out for me and I’ve used it a couple of times. “Think through the drink.” Instead of letting myself imagine having a glass of wine, I’ve forced myself to also imagine the next morning in just as much detail.
George, congrats on 30 days!!!
mj, your “Lost” system caused a green tea shower like my monitor has never seen!
George -congratulations!
Val- I think I am definitely riding waves- you’know meaning moods and all —they come and go- they are good and then irritable- but I just try to ride them rather than fight them-right now I am thinking it may be best for me to just turn in early- don’t want to think anyone tonight.
Wishing the best to all,
way to go George!
Hi Islanders,
I was here briefly in October, then got pulled out to sea again and finally washed back up on the shore. I’ve been reading the site again for the past couple of weeks and am glad that I decided to come back. I’m on day 6 right now, and although I don’t really post much, I am so thankful for all the comments, stories and shared experiences that can be found here. Like some others here, I read Allen Carr’s book (twice! didn’t quite sink in the first time) and for some weird reason, it worked for me. My husband is currently out of town and in times past when I knew he wasn’t going to be around for a few days, I would immediately start planning how much, when and how often I could get drunk (read: as much as possible). I’m proud to say that his 3 beers have been sitting in the fridge since he’s been gone and they have not even once called my name. I will continue to come here whenever I feel the fortitude vat running low. Anyways, sorry for the ramble, but just wanted to say hi again to a few old faces and many, many new ones. Just a few weeks ago, I could not imagine going even 1 day sober after 10 years of being drunk continually, but here I am. To those who are starting out, or starting again, if I can do it, anyone can. Stay strong and sober, and I will stay strong and sober with you guys.
Feels good to be back!
I didn’t drink for a long time. I’m trying to remember who I was then and envision me being that person now. I liked her :)
key, that’s exactly how I was feeling and I think one of the many things that finally got this to stick for me. You won’t turn back into the person you were (I’ve been kind of hoping for that too, but so far it hasn’t happened but I’m in my early days still so who knows) but you will be better, I’m sure. We all will be and are for recognizing this nasty addiction for what it is and choosing to vanquish it. I turned into a right jerk over the past 5 years or so, lost my sense of humor along with my sense of time and space. Funny thing I’ve been discovering this week, someone must’ve snuck into my house and rewrote at least half of my books! I would always read when I was drinking and now I practically have a new library as well as a “new” DVD collection to go thru. Again, I’m just rambling, I think I’ve lost about 40 IQ points since giving up the booze but I’ve heard that chronic alcoholics basically have to relearn how to do sober that they used to do when they were drunk. Something about the wiring upstairs. Anyone else ever hear that?
Day 130
George- Congrats on 30 days and thank you so much for quoting so many on your most recent post! It obviously took a lot of time on your part and I hope you continue on the next “30 day” journey?
Iadara- Great to have you back! Even though your post were short lived back in October, I do remember you. Please stay involved and focus on completing 30 days. You can do this!
Heading straight to bed tonight without a book in hand. I’m exhausted from work.
G-nite All,
-Grayson-
Key:: Superbowl weekend and your hometown Saints are primed to be the upstarts, and ya got two all day parties to help celebrate it. You mentioned needing prayer to get through it. I’m thinking some good ole ’50s electrotherapy :O …but come Sunday I’ll raise a N/A Ginger Beer w/ lime to you and New Orleans in hopes you’ll both shock ‘em all!
George:: Congratulations. If this is your first 30, I know you’ll never forget it. Thx. for the post and for sticking around.
Val:: Ha. Green tea across my monitor. I hate when that happens – but sounds like a good album title though.
Annie:: Teaching in Nepal (at the base of the Himalayas). Now that defines a (excuse the pun) peak experience. Go for it!
Iadara:: Welcome back!
George, Congratulations on 30 days and I want to say how much I loved reading posts that were inspirational to you. You reminded me that our posts or our ramblings just might strike a chord with someone. In posting our thoughts and struggles we just might help someone. thank you and happy thoughts on your 30zzz
Scout, loving thoughts to you. I am so sorry for your loss.
Aries Mom….. “Survivor”……. love that show!
My journey (as I liked to call it) had a fall from grace that I learned from. A frank talk with my SO and soul-searching meditation for me and I am feeling at peace with my life.
Many of your posts are very inspirational to me.
Val, just letting you know that it’s nearly midnight here in the South Pacific, and the night is clear and the stars shining bright. I’m going to go to bed soon but expect that the same stars that shine on me are going to send their loving energy all the way from New Zealand and around the globe so when it’s getting dark in your part of the world, they shine on you too.
Lots of love
Annie
Day 4
I just wanted to thank those who responded for their supportive comments. I’ve been feeling stronger as each sober days goes by. I felt absolutely no urges last night. My wife was out and the kids were asleep by 7:30 and I wasn’t even tempted to drink. Usually I would have stocked the fridge with beer and would have smoked and drank all night, waking up with a horrible headache and a nasty taste in my mouth. NOT THIS TIME!!!!!
Iadara – I also believe that if I can give up drinking, anyone can. Stay strong.
mj – I like your idea for the superbowl. I decided not to attend a big party on Sunday in order to resist temptation. I’ll be watching it at home with my diet cokes :)
Have a wonderful and sober day, everyone.
Lee
Happy day 4 and thanks for the encouragement. I’ll bring a 6 pack of diet coke and that should take care of it. It’s a compulsion to have something in my hand more than anything. Oh, I’ve quit smoking too. You all are great!