Update (Sep 4, 2010): Due to the overwhelming, and ongoing popularity of this post (over 22,000 comments and counting!), I’ve recently started working on a new tool to make tracking and sharing your progress quitting drinking a whole lot easier and more fun.
It’s called Quitfest. Please feel free to check it out!
There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
– Terry Pratchett
My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. It’s for this reason that I can’t remember my grandpa’s funeral: I was only four. This is also why my grandma has meticulously avoided alcohol for over 20 years. If there’s anything to the rumours about alcoholism being influenced by heredity, I’m probably tagged.
My own consumption patterns change. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of several months having three or four drinks, three to five times a week. Sometimes I’ll restrict my consumption to social occasions. For about five months starting last December, in my quest to master the art of talking to strangers, my social life became two full-time jobs. I was constantly going out to social events, clubs, bars, museum parties, and everything in between. Despite temptation, I rarely drank.
Last month, I quit drinking alcohol again. I’d like to tell you that it was a struggle. I’d like to pretend that it’s almost impossible to stay sober at a social occasion where everyone else is burping bubbles. I’d like to imagine myself as more determined and disciplined than all the rest, and that’s what pulled me through.
But the truth is that I’m ruthlessly normal. And if you want to end your relationship with alcohol, right here, right now, It’s Not That Hard.
I’m guessing that most people who choose to quit drinking are not alcoholics. My intent is to offer here an action plan that anyone can apply, whether you’re nursing an addiction or just want to enjoy the benefits of uninterrupted sobriety.
Why Stop Drinking?
The long-term effects of bad habits are rarely sufficient to motivate people to change their lives. The near-term benefits of giving up alcohol are much more useful and interesting anyway. Here are the changes I experienced:
- Productive socializing. Talking to strangers is a great way to build character, but its benefits are greatly reduced when you’re drunk. The alcohol represses much of the social anxiety, which inhibits lasting change. But the only thing more terrifyingly fun than getting drunk and meeting a bunch of new people is staying sober and meeting a bunch of new people.
- Avoid the McPilgrimage. Clearly, there’s a conspiracy between the fast food industry and the liquor industry. Free will collapses under the weight of insobriety and convenience. With enough alcohol in your system, even the most wretched burger joint becomes an irresistible sanctuary.
- Reclaim lost time. Let’s say you have a few drinks around the house, three times a week, and that light touch of drunkenness costs you three hours of productive thinking each time. Within one year, you’ll have shaved about one full month off your life. That’s a lot of lost CPU time that could have been put towards reading a book, writing a speech, playing a sport, or even starting a business. And this doesn’t even count the time lost waiting for your brain to resolidify the morning after a night on the town.
- Get rich quickly. You don’t have to party that hard to spend $100-$150/week or more on alcohol and related expenses. If you quit drinking today, you could reasonably expect to convert that choice into a bankroll for backpacking around the world in about six months.
- Become an early riser. I’m currently readjusting my sleep schedule to wake up at 5:30 AM, seven days a week. Alcohol, and the lifestyle that often accompanies it, work against this process. Alcohol makes me feel tired when I want to feel energetic and awake. Ironically, it also increases wakefulness during sleep.
You can probably think of other instantly gratifying benefits to life beyond the bottle. The important thing is to actually have a reason that is important enough to you.
Make It Priority Number One
Giving up alcohol is one of the easiest and hardest changes you can make in your life.
It’s easy once you’ve established the right rules, configured your environment to support you, and set up useful boundaries of pain and pleasure to help direct you towards your goal. The hard parts are the social implications and fighting off the One Man Army that is your ego, with its barrage of self-limiting beliefs and drink requests.
Giving up alcohol must be made priority number one in your life. A partial commitment is a commitment to failure. Even if you already don’t drink that often, it will be tempting to break your own rules when your friends call you up and invite you out. You’ve got to be willing to prioritize this decision in every situation where it’s relevant, even when that means Just Saying No to pub night.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Ever notice how some people act as though the end of their relationship is the end of the world? It’s as if there’s no point in living if they can’t be with that person any longer. Yet other people come along and date that person who left them, eventually break up with them, and see it as hardly more than a blip on the radar.
You may feel that it’s pretty easy to give up drinking. Or you may feel that it’s an addiction with a stranglehold on your life. Either way, there is no inherent magnitude to this task. It’s as big or as small as you make it.
No matter how much you want to tell yourself how hard it is, nobody’s ever going to claim that learned helplessness was the secret to their success. The most effective way forward is to not only make quitting drinking a top priority, but to think, talk, and act like it can be done.
Become the Impartial Spectator
Whether you view it as a spiritual separation, or merely conceptual, we all have more than one self. There’s the “Mmmmm…beeeer…” self, and the impartial spectator that can detach from and observe this desire.
Let the latter voice be your authority. You’re allowed to want a drink as much as you’re allowed to choose not to have one. There’s tremendous power in observing your thoughts as a third party. The impartial spectator can feel the heat without getting burned.
When in doubt, let it be there. No matter how bad the storm seems, it will pass.
Commit to 30 Days
If you’ve never done it before, it can be hard to think of giving up drinking forever. It’s discouraging to commit to permanent change, only to back out a few days or weeks into it. Some people will face social friction and lifestyle changes for which they’re unprepared.
But life is a laboratory. It’s an adventure that takes shape through hypothesis and experimentation, and most decisions can be reverted. When it comes to making big changes like this, live before you leap. Promise yourself that you will commit to this 100%, but only for 30 days, and see how it goes.
This is exactly what I did last month. I promised myself that November would be alcohol-free, and it was. Truth be told, I had a few drinks on day 31. But I broke the negative pattern that was creeping up on me and gained back the energy to spend on more important activities. And I’ve repeatedly proven to myself that I can give up alcohol whenever I feel like, whenever it seems like the right thing to do.
Dump Your Existing Stash
Any goal that’s important to you is important enough to start on right now. My 30-day challenge to give up alcohol started at about 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had just gotten back from a post-nightclub McPilgrimage with some friends. I had a great time. I met lots of people. I even ended up dating a girl I met that night.
But I was really annoyed by how much I’d poured into me that night, at succumbing to the resulting Big Mac temptation, and at how much I was going to regret the hangover. As soon as I got home, the challenge was on. I had one last beer in my fridge, which I ceremoniously poured down the kitchen sink.
If you’re serious about doing this, get rid of your alcohol. If you’ve got $300 worth of spirits in your cabinet and you’re not yet sure if you want to empty it all down the drain, only to change your mind in 30 days, then store it at a friend’s place during your probation period. Preferably a friend that doesn’t drink.
Advertise Your Decision
I told most of my friends about what I was doing. Not only only does this add accountability to your goal, it also drops the hint that if your friends are planning on going out and getting wasted, you’re probably not interested.
Of course, you don’t have to avoid social situations where you’ll be the only one not drinking. I’ve gone out stone sober many times–even on my own–and met loads of people. Once you get used to social skydiving, you no longer need alcohol’s permission to talk to strangers and have a good time. You can get to that place by either getting hammered out of your face, or by learning to just not care what other people think. Frankly, the latter is way more fun.
Fire Your Drinking Buddies
Alcohol may be so tightly integrated into your social life that it seems almost impossible to go an entire weekend without drinking. If the only thing you have in common with your friends is that you like the same lagers, you might want to consider finding new friends.
I’ve let go of people in my social circle before and I know it’s not easy–but that doesn’t make it unnecessary. This might be the hardest thing you do in choosing a life without alcohol. The key is to remember that friends are an abundant resource. Having a strong social circle is purely a function of the effort you invest into it. That includes choosing to associate only with people who are aligned with your purpose, while avoiding the energy vampires.
This is another benefit of a 30-day commitment. Instead of permanently downsizing your social life, you can choose to be busy only for the next few weeks. Observe how it affects you when you stop spending time with your beer buddies. Join a local user group for something you’re interested in to bring yourself into contact with people with whom you share more than just a bar tab.
Bribe Yourself
I haven’t used this specific technique for giving up alcohol, but I have used it with much success in bulldozing my way through a wall of social anxiety.
Associate massive pain to backing out. To create that pain, visit your nearest bank machine. Withdraw an amount of money that you’d feel uncomfortable losing. Give it to a friend you trust. Tell them that you get your money back if, and only if, you don’t have a drop of alcohol until your 30 days are up. You’ll be surprised at how even the most difficult tasks become doable when you associate massive pain to breaking your own rules. Money can be a great way to make it hurt. If you can think of an even better form of self-bribery, go for it.
The stronger you feel that alcohol is a part of your life, the more of these techniques you may want to apply. My most recent alcohol-free challenge didn’t require bribery or letting go of any friends. But I did find it extremely useful to limit the challenge to 30 days, to give myself permission to live the lifestyle before leaping to a permanent decision.
I also think that making this a top priority is key, no matter what your current consumption habits. It’s so easy to let yourself slip for just one night, and then feel guilty about breaching your own contract later on.
Annie- HUGE HUGS to you!! So sorry you are going through that. How hard it must be to accept what is going on with your daughter and to be the contact person for this mess. Good call on the no phone calls thing. Hang in there and keep your chin up!
George- I probably have not said 2 words to you b/c I have been away from the island for a bit, but regarding your post: I understand not feeling like you have credibility for your length of sober time, however, at what point do you feel that you will have gained it? I say that b/c I think you do have credibility. You see the mess that drinking has caused and are doing something about it. If you get up and keep trying and striving for that goal, you have seen more than most in regards to what you need to do. Beyond that I can say I worry all the time about the example I have set before my children. We cannot beat ourselves up. You are making good choices now and hopefully he will too. Hang in there!
I though I was all clear today and this weekend having made it through Superbowl and feeling strong, despite having come off of 2 weeks of family related stress. Then I woke up this morning and found out a good friend, single mom in her 30’s with a 9-year old son has cancer. She’s has had this for a bit and not mentioned to us or her son. She is having another surgery and they think it is in her lymph nodes. Anyway, long story short- she may not make it and all I want to do is take a load off of the stress and sadness. With a drink, of course. It won’t help or change a danged thing, but it is how I feel. I have no plans of going through with anything, but if I cannot tell y’all, who can I tell?
Wishing you all a happy Friday and weekend!
Thanks Cricket, dealing with emotions over the illness and/or death of loved ones has lead me to many drinking binges over recent years and all it has done is added to my guilt and sorrow.Drinking when you are upset is the worst of all.
Over the past couple of years I saw the passing of both of my parents which has led to a crazy sister dragging the whole thing through probate for two years. It made me very upset, so I drank. It made a bad situation much, much worse, just leading to depression and anger.
Stay strong through this. Go visit your friend if you can. Embrace the love you feel, share it with your friend and don’t distort your emotions with alcohol.You will thank yourself later.
I pray for your friend and her family as well as your inner strength to see it through.
Have a Great Day and God Bless
TW-
I was listening to this guy on the radio this morning-he is an author but i didn’t get his name, anyway, he said things that I ‘know’ or have ‘heard’ but today it kind of seemed like his words spoke to me so I’ll share with you in hopes that it helps you too, and any others that might be reading. This is not quoting him -he said that the many challenges in life should be viewed as ‘gifts’ in order to grow and gain a better perspective of your journey in this life. He said everyone on this Earth has been put here for a purpose but so many have chosen to hide from it- people turn to drugs, alcohol, gambling etc to create themselves a ‘void’ from dealing with life instead of learning from what is given-good and bad and using it to achieve their ‘purpose’ – and I wish I could say it more profoundly as he did but I hope it touches you in some way to seek more of the truth in what he said. I know this sobriety is hard because I am back at the beginning too. I do not want to hide anymore.
Good Afternoon Everyone and thank you so much for the nice posts!
Cricket it is so good to see you here again. You have been missed. What a great treat to see you again:0) I hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you girl! Please stay:)
I have to make this short. My parents are taking my family out to lunch today for my 40th B-day tomorrow. It is good to be sober and my plans are to hang on one day at a time……
Love and Support to everybody & have a nice weekend.
Always
Johan: Congratualations on 202 days! I missed congratulating you on the official 200. I’m really enjoying my new book that you reccommended. I bought this book as my gift to me for my first 30 days and entitled it as such on the inside cover. I am taking it slow in order not to miss one single detail. It is a book that must be thoughtfully read without any distractions.
Key: I hope you’re feeling much better now. Food poisoning sucks!!!
Annie: Congratulations on your marks! Wonderful news to hear. But I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your daughter and her ‘poisonous letter’. You are handling this remarkably well by distancing yourself and centering yourself and by focusing on feeling compassion for your child who is obviously in pain. Alcohol distorts our thinking and your daughter seems to be suffering from disillusions brought on by her consumption of alcohol. That’s a really tough situation for any parent to be in. I sincerely hope that things work out. You at least know you are not responsible for her behaviour. This is good because I have heard of parents who feel intense guilt over the poor choices made by their adult children.
George: I wish you and your wife luck in starting your new business together. What’s that old saying…”When one door closes, another opens.” What a tricky situation with regards to your stepson. At 21, he is responsible for his own actions. You should not be feeling guilt over your own prior behaviour with alcohol. What has that got to do with your son’s substance abuse. It is only right that you both speak to him. If you didn’t care about his welfare, what would be the point of even discussing it with him. But you do care and you both can do this in a loving but firm way. He may need further help. And if he does bring up your past, remind him that this is not the current topic of concern. Good luck! I have 3 children and 2 step-children from the ages of 22 – 28. It’s a bit tricky handling things when it’s regarding the step-children sometimes.
Cricket: How sad to hear about your friend. It’s good that you feel safe to voice your feelings and occasional desires for a drink. Even if you have no plans to do so, it does help to tell somebody. I know when I had a couple of really bad days where all I thought of was a drink, it helped me enormously to share it here.
Tomorrow will be my first real venture out to a dance and alcohol will be running wild. We are going to a Valentine’s Day dance with other couples. About 400 people will be there. My past behaviour would be, to at least drink 3 very large glasses of wine before leaving. I would also bring an empty water bottle full of wine to drink there, so I wouldn’t have to go up frequently to buy drinks. Of course, it would be hidden in my purse and wine can look like a soft drink if you don’t look too closely. I would also buy one to make it look good. Where was my head???Goodness knows, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I drank too much…So, here I am going out officially sober. I bet I’ll probably enjoy myself more. There were many nights when my husband would have to carry me into the house and put me to bed and I barely remembered the evening. What a sad state of affairs. I’m embarrased and humilated just thinking about it.
Have a super weekend and Happy Valentine’s Day from me to You.
love Mary
Thank you everyone, for the kind thoughts and hugs, they mean a lot. I am just off out for a run but will write a bit more later.
xxx
Johan. Sorry to be a naysayer: I do not think we will ever “ will have this whooped”. Jeanne 1 on this site says she had been alcohol-free for 7 years, but then fell back to the bottle. Terry McGovern also did 7 years, but still died from an alcohol overdose. Robin Williams started drinking again after 20 years. No, my friend, we will have to be careful for the rest of our lives. That is not really frightening for me – it gets easier and easier to abstain – but I think continous vigilance is necessary.
John, not a naysayer, a realist! Thanks! I think that’s part of the reason I am reading here everyday, keeps me focused in light of the fact the cravings are mild and infrequent. I should also know better after not smoking for two years then starting up again…
Cricket – be there for your friend! The drink will not help but you already know that. Prayers can only help too!
BooBoo – Happy Birthday!!!! you have already given yourself the best gift!
MaryG – thanks, I am interested in your opinion of the book once you have finished it.
Gypsie – nice post! Yeah, we all need to stop hiding behind the bottle!!
George – I loved the poem! Just beautiful; I’m going to pass that one along. I wanted to comment on your discovery of methadone in your stepson’s drawer. You are right to be concerned. I know that methadone serves a valuable purpose for those trying to kick an opiate addiction. When administered in controlled doses, I believe it helps to ease withdrawal symptoms. I’m no expert or anything; this is just what I’ve read about it. Your story touched me because I lost my brother to a methadone overdose when he was just 24. He was not trying to overcome an opiate addiction – he was just using methadone recreationally. I’m not 100% sure but I think the overdose might have occurred the first time he tried it. It’s a very powerful drug.
Annie – Big hugs to you! I think cooling off and allowing yourself some private time was absolutely the best game plan.
Cricket – Sorry to hear about your friend. Stay strong and do something nice for yourself and for her. That will make you feel better than a drink ever could.
George, Mary G,Booboo, Johan, Cybelle, thank you all for the support and kind words. (I did not forget anyone, did I?)
Trying to hang in there tonight. I know alcohol helps nothing, but it feels like a good excuse sometimes, doesn’t it?
Have a great night all!
Hello everyone, I was feeling really really bad today for drinking last night and kicking myself all day. I just read Cricket’s post and realize I do learn something more everytime I have a downfall and drink. I have not been able to stop yet, but I know my triggers and honest to God really want to beat this with everything I have and then some. I know no-one could make me feel worse than what I have been telling myself all day and even had a little pity party say how bad I am and on and on. Thank you everyone.
I re-read my post earlier and the message I was trying to convey was that too many people are in ‘hiding’ -in alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, plastic surgery etc… thats the problem in the world- take the stand and stand out – live truly- live love- it will make a difference-I love you you all- Happy Valentines- kinda nice but fake Hallmark-still nice holiday
I chuckled when I read this in this morning’s Press:
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”
Dylan Thomas
George, I was thinking about your situation with your stepson.
Here are my thoughts, for what they’re worth.
This isn’t so much a moral issue as it is a legal one, which paradoxically, I guess, does force a moral component into it. Your credibility has nothing to do with this. Your drug of choice was legal. His is not. He knows this. We aren’t talking damage done with alcohol (and we all know it’s immense), we are talking about him breaking the law.
A criminal record will impact on him forever. I so do understand your reluctance to address it with him. He’s 21. However, he is living with you, and in your house, you don’t break the law. Right?
Ultimately you and your wife need to agree on what to do, and if it’s that you don’t address it, well absolutely fine – it is entirely your decision. I am not passing judgment, believe me, and I feel so badly for you that he has put you in this position, albeit unintentionally.
I looked on Google to see if I could find any sites to refer you to that may help but I couldn’t find much at all. It all relates to teenagers, not 21 year old adults.
I wish I could give you an answer but all I can suggest is contacting drug treatment clinics in your area who may be able to refer you to someone who can help you deal with this constructively so everyone comes out of it feeling okay.
Cybelle, Annie, Maryg, Cricket- I appreciate all of your reaching out to help.
Cybelle, I am sorry to hear about your brother. It illustrates just how deadly serious this could be. There is nothing more important than my son’s health. My wife and I will address the situation this weekend.
I am so thankful to be tackling these situations sober.
Booboo-Happy Birthday!
Gemini-Good to see you’re still here
CRF.Dave, El Montero- Welcome. I hope you find the warmth and reassurance here that I have come to know.
Lee- Keep on keeping on, it’s great to hear your voice. Yeah, I have always liked “Desiderata”. My mom gave me a framed copy of it many years ago and I have always found wisdom in it.
Jeanne1-I’m Praying with you. Stay strong. Do it for you.
RRRat-“I find more self-respect pouring is as the days sober increase.” Very well said.
Kimie- way to go on 44 days. Keeping busy is important for me as well.
To everyone out there starting again or here for the first time; keep reading and post. It’s not easy but it’s definitely a good thing. I am very thankful to everyone here for all of the various experiences and advice shared. I feel I have grown a lot in a short amount of time and I encourage everyone to think forward and don’t look back.
I have to take this a day at a time.
So, today I won’t drink.
Tomorrow I will be a better man because of it.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Have a Great Weekend
G
Hi all. I missed a bunch. I’ll try to catch up tomorrow. I had a weird night because my feelings about quitting are different and my approach to it is different. Before it was more like a dare to quit that had almost no consequences if I failed. I usually slept from when I got home until dinner and then slept again after dinner just to get to the next day. Now, it’s a new lifestyle and failure has dire consequences. I’ve gotten so very sick the last few times I’ve had any alcohol that I feel my body just can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to sleep so I don’t drink so I have to deal with whatever thoughts and events come my way sober and awake. It’s a little hard, but it’s a way of life that I have to master..again. I’m glad I’m quitting. I love being sober and my caffiene intake is way down. Food intake is up. Now if I can just get myself to drink more water and exercise, I’ll be fine.
Love to all my sober friends. The island is the only place it isn’t snowing tonight and I’m glad to be here.
9Morning all!
Key – Nice one on the attitude adjustment! Don’t be afraid to eat what you want, when you want it, for the first while if it helps get you through. the food intake slows down naturally once your body stabalizes. Doing great!
Annie – that is hilarious!
George – tough situation. I think there is a lot of good advice here, and common sense tells us that this is a dangerous drug (aren’t most of them?) I think the message is clear but how you deliver it is key I think, and something you and your wife have to decide on, and stick together. My two cents cdn.
Gypsy – thanks! You seem content these past few days! Maybe not the best word, maybe focused or something. (or maybe it’s just early here) whatever it is, keep doing it!
Good Morning:) Have to share the something my 19 year old son wrote in a hand written card to me.
“I love you so much and I appreciate all the sacrifices you make for me. I’m so proud of all your accomplishments and I hope you continue on with what you are doing. You are a very strong and loving Mom and you care so much! I’m always here for you.”
Being sober is a choice. Yes sometimes it is hard. Living life drinking was much harder! Choosing to love my children and myself is the best gift. You have this one body and it is so good to take better care of it!!! My thought is not drinking has made our familys life better. Yes my spouse still drinks and it is hard at times. One day at a time I am making this choice.
Love, Support, and Encouragement to you ALL:)
ps thanks Johan and George:)
always
Johan- what is 9Morning???
Booboo- Happy Birthday! What a great card to get from your son. Doesn’t it make it all worth it? All those days and nights that are so hard to be sober? And you did it and are doing it! Awesome!!
I sure missed talking to you!
Elizabeth- I think we all beat ourselves up too much.You are not alone in that. I know I do and it drives my husband batty. He tells me I have this cycle of it- drink, beat myself up, don’t drink, struggle,be grumpy, etc, etc. What starts as the tempter becomes the accuser, the way I see it anyway- for those of you who look at it in terms of the “demon”.
Anyway, give yourself some credit- you got up and you keep trying. I keep figuring out my triggers and as soon as I do, there are new ones. Dang it. I just need to wear full armor all the time, I suppose. Hang in there, we wil beat this thing if we keep at it. Have a great day!
Thanks Cricket, I am going to keep picking myself up. Had a very sober Friday night, but for a couple hours really wanted a drink. Finally sat down and started reading the new David Balducci book True Blue, once I started reading had no desire to drink. Plan on doing that tonight as well. I am working today and going Valentines shopping so no temptationt there until I get home.
Happy Saturday Islanders; good point no snow! – yes it is cold in FL – my dogs are wearing coats
Booboo thanks for sharing your card what a gift – yes that is soo special and I hope whenever you are in a rough spot you take out that card and feel your son’s love for you
Maryg; how was the dance sober? – last night I was thinking of your tactics of drinking before and carrying a soda bottle of wine – my game too and I am so glad to have that monkey off my back – occ I got my husband to go to the beach with me and I’d bring wine with me the big jug of course and he always fussed about the open bottle even though it was in the trunk in a cooler in a bag and now the freedom of going places without making sure I have a supply is so much lighter to carry since I can get a drink of anything anywhere including a water fountain and the stash was so secret – heavy monkey gone
sober saturday everybody Love STAY carol xoxoxo
Morning all, what a week!
John and Johan, and others in the discussion about this being a life long challenge, you got me thinking how this will look in our lives. I had an experience last night. My mom asked if I would pick her up some coolers (she had four coolers this week, 1 per day). I went to the liquor store, got her 4 pack, and on the way out actually picked up an old favourite cooler and thought, I should just take one home to try tonight. Only one. What harm could be done. I started walking to the register and another voice ( yep, guess I’m hearing voices now !!!) said, ” turn around and put it back NOW !” I put it back. Later, as I sipped on a pomegranate blueberry blend mixed with Ginger ale I felt so happy. Not only was my drink good, fairly healthy, and refreshing, but it was missing certain ingredients that are blended in with alcohol. You know, guilt, sleeplessness, desire for more, messed up personality, etc.. So yes, the urge still creeps up on us, and maybe always will, but each victory makes us stronger, more secure. It really does get easier as we move along.
Now, if only I could do something about my voices!
Strength to each one of you engaged in this battle. You’re all Olympians reaching for the golden life awaiting you.
Megwitch
RRR
Great post Booboo. Thanks for sharing what your son wrote to you. I am inspired by your success.
I find it hard to quit smoking with a spouse who smokes. I know I am weak, and when she smokes I immediately want one too. And since I don’t smoke unless I drink, the next thing I know I’m smoking and drinking the evening away. My wife is satisfied with 2-3 butts a night without alcohol. I am not :(
I guess I have some work to do.
Lee
Lee, pray for intense hangovers. I wanted a cigarette a couple times this week, but I know if I have one that compromise makes resist drinking way harder. Think of alcohol as a roomate you took in who robbed you blind right under your nose. Why the heck would you still let him visit. Everytime he comes, he takes a little bit more away from you. Sure he’s good for a few laughs, but it takes a long time to get back what he takes.
RRR. Good for you! Yes, every time I say no to alcohol, I feel stronger, and that little devil (or inner voice or whatever) gets weaker. Right now, I cannot imagine succumbing to any kind of urge to start drinking again, in view of the incredible improvements I now experience in the quality of my life. But I know good people (even better than I :-) ) have fallen, so I know I have to be careful.
Take care – take a lot of care!
John
Wow…When I read the “make it a priority” part of Brad’s intro. I think I took that too far. I almost got addicted to getting sober, and from the posts of Wednesday and Thursday, I think people know what I’m talking about. Now getting alife is my priority and I’m amazed at how different this sober Saturday is from past sober Saturdays. I got up an hour earlier. I’m being productive already. My kids are all playing with friends. I feel like I have the live I was intending to have years ago when I started this journey of single parenting. I might actually sew and paint this weekend.
this is an amazing journey.
It’s kinda crazy how this thing goes. I’ve been cruisin’ along pretty good without many bad cravings. Just now as I am about to get off work I just had a felling come over me telling me how good it would feel to have a few(5-10) drinks on the way home and get primed for cooking dinner.
Wow, I’m shakin’ it off. I’m going to leave here, go grocery shopping, pick up something for Valentine’s and get straight home and forget about it.
It’s just funny how these waves can come crashing up on our island trying to wash us back out to sea. I’m hanging on to a sturdy palm right now. I think I’ll make through the night
I get by with a little help from my friends…
Stay sober kids, have a great night.
yeah- just ride the waves…
I’m so glad to have been able to write every thought I’ve shared. It has taken all this time for them to stick, but I really think God was looking out for me by showing me this site.
George, don’t go back to day 1…stay strong! Alcohol is not your friend…cooking sober tastes and turns out better. I just watched a movie where the most powerful line was a mom telling her daughter she didn’t want her daughter to grow up to be her. You might not be able to boast sobriety, but you may be able to really convincingly explain how familiar you are with what awaits your stepson if he goes down the path of addiction.
Sometimes I wish we could get an email alert when somebody posts, like on facebook.