you know what,i’m experiencing the same thing as ur case, im a dreamer and a procrastinator, aside from that i am a certified worrier, and do have a lot of frustrations. (and i also love crying :P )But like Yyanago said, maybe its just a common experience of an individual who is yet to discover of who we are..but at least we think and in that sense we are on the right track..

You’re going through a very common experience many 15-25yr old experiences. Discovering who you are.

Stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start doing what you like doing. Work smart by no longer doing the things that don’t mean much to you, and start doing more of what you do like.

I’m always on the computer or always reading. I’m always thinking about how things got started. I’m always planning, always organizing. I cry a lot and I love myself enough to always assure myself that I’ll live my dreams that I’ll reach my goals. Yet I hate myself much for not being the best at anything. I skip sleep to sneakily surf on the Internet at nights even though my parents would completely freak out if they knew about it. I’m always Googling phrases like “how to be famous, how to get a life, how to be interesting, how to be busy” etc. I keep a list of activities… I ask people what they do in their free time and I make a list of it. I read fiction books and take notes of things that the characters do…(Example: Monday: park-skating, play hockey, go shopping, ice rink, skating lesson, snack-hot chocolate – These are the things Nancy, the character of the book, does on Monday. ) Why do I do this? Because maybe…just maybe… I’ll have a life as interesting as the character’s. Or maybe when I’m bored I can just pull out the list, do the activity, and have a good time. Besides that, I collect biographies of famous people… I want to be like them so badly. Anxiety never leaves me. There is such a strong urge in me to do it all, and know it all. I’m always worrying whether or not I’ll do everything in life. Whether I’ll live to the fullest. I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t know how to stop wasting. They say “thoughts are the seed of action”. If most people thought as much as I do they’d be very very active. Nowadays I don’t even feel much emotion… even my tears seem meaningless. I received my Star Test (California Standardized Test) Results a few days ago and I got good scores but they didn’t cause me to feel anything. Last year when I good scores… not only was I grinning like crazy but I couldn’t stop jumping around. That passion and excitement is all lost. I am home schooled. My parents don’t encourage me to participate in extracurricular activities. I have friends who I call sometimes but I don’t hang out with them. I don’t have a social life. I keep convincing myself that I’m young so there is enough time for me to have a life. But time is running out. I am a dreamer. I am a procrastinator. I promise to do my best and do interesting activities at night and as day rolls by, I’ve already spent hours on the computer. I love going outside; it gives me a sense of power and joy. But, my parents are on a tight budget so we don’t go anywhere… no shopping, no traveling. I don’t have difficulty making friends or a problem starting conversations. . I do get overwhelmed by the nimiety of living in the 21st century (so many movies to watch, places to go, books to read, songs to listen to – how am I going to do everything?) I play sports with my brothers sometimes but they’d rather do other stuff than hang out with me. Does anyone feel similarly? Can you help me? Give me ideas on how to start? Am I helpless? Is it just a social disorder, a lack of motivation? Please help me.